Story Six

This took forever. That's all I have to say about it.


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That night, in the local coffee shop, a singer-songwriter on stage went through his set. The songs themselves didn’t reveal his nervousness, but in-between them the shyness and self-consciousness were exposed as he made little jokes about the seven songs he performed.
After he finished, he took his guitar and sat quietly by himself.
I sat, unaccompanied, drinking a latte.
Both of us sat alone in the back row, with a table between us. A granola looking girl walked up to the stage with her Les Paul.
I was focused on her when he got my attention. He had a sweet smile on his face when I turned to him. He tried to say something, but I couldn’t understand what he said as the girl filled my ears with heartbreaking tales of Downtown lovers. I shook my head and he had a confused look on his face.

The various people onstage were finished and the room was quiet again. The bodies that sat in the seats started rearranging themselves so they could talk about what they just experienced, or whatever else was on their minds. I watched the room before a voice to my left started speaking softly.
My head slowly turned back to him.
He sat there talking with one of the people who performed that night. They were speaking animatedly about a concert they had both gone to a year ago.
I slowly turned away, when the other person looked at me and smiled pleasantly, before turning back to the conversation.
I finally finished the muffin I ordered during the last act and was about to get up, with my mind on getting home and into bed.
As I got up, both of them turned my direction.
He said, “Did you have a good time tonight?”
A smile came over my face before I nodded.
The other guy half-joking said, “I really think, if you really liked us, you should support us by buying a CD or something,” then pointed to behind me, where two girls sitting behind a table with CDs and other merchandise were talking to various people scattered in front or near them.
I nodded then swung around and marched over there.
The blonde one sat there talking with a guy on her left, drinking a huge bottle of water, while the redhead was getting hit on by one of the people around. Her expression was calm, as the heavily eyelinered girl kept cooing over and touching the green dragon circling the other’s arm.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hi.”, she said cheerfully, before putting the bottle of water down. “What can I help you with?”
“I’d like to get a CD.”
“Who would you like to get?”
I quickly looked over my shoulder where the two of them still sat and talked, before quickly pointing to them.
She peered over in their direction and then looked at me.
“Lew or Colin?”
“Who’s who?”
“Lew is the one who looks like he should be wearing a suit, and Colin’s the guy who’s looking over here.”
I looked back over my shoulder and Colin was looking over at us, as she said.
I slowly turned back and said, “Colin’s would be the one I’ll be getting.”
“Okay,” she said, before she got one of his CDs from one of the small stacks. “That’ll be ten bucks.”
“All right,” I said, before digging through my purse and getting my wallet.

Not long after, someone started speaking from behind me.
“Actually, she was supposed to get the one on the bottom.”
I didn’t turn around as the girl looked confusedly at us, and he took the one from my hand, then swapped it for the one on the bottom of the stack.
He stood there, looking at me, when he handed it over.
His hand lightly brushed the back of mine and I mouthed, “Thank you.”
“No problem,” he said.
We looked at each other, before someone else came by and loudly congratulated him for the performance.
I calmly walked away, and, out the door, into the parking lot, where it was night and the only sounds around was of the passing traffic on the nearby freeway and crickets.

I got in the car and unwrapped the CD, and took off the plastic and stickers, before opening the case. Two CDs were inside, one that was the actual CD and the other, I didn’t know. I unfolded the case to expose the one I wasn’t expecting.
I read aloud, “For the nights when you can’t sleep, put this on repeat,” which was handwritten on the back of the case.
A smile came over my face, before I slipped the main CD into my player. I took a quick look at the coffee shop and could see he was talking with several people, who were huddled around him. I turned the key in the ignition, before leaving him to his people.

I lied awake at 3am, staring at the ceiling.
Neil was next to me, snoring into his pillow.
I quietly snuck out of bed and went to my purse in the living room, and took the portable player from the desk besides the bookcases.
I sat in the dark while popping in the CD.
There were a few minutes of silence before a warm pop and crackle started to come into my ears.
“Okay, I messed up,” the voice said.
There was a brief hesitation before he began singing the sweetest song I’ve ever heard.
In the dark, I leaned my face against the side of the couch, the coolness of the fake fur throw against it.
A sigh escaped my lips as he told his story about not wanting to break my heart.
The song ended after four minutes.
There was dead silence, before the CD stopped.
I had to play it again.

A few nights passed and I stood outside on the balcony. His car was parked across the street and his windows rolled up.
I held the switch in my hand, quickly peered over my shoulder, and turned the lights on over my head.
The white Hello was bright enough that he could see it.
The headlights turned on and a window started to roll down a little. A flashlight peeked out and he spelled out in Morse code, “Dot, dot. Pause. Dot, slash, slash, dot, dot. Slash, slash, slash. Dot, dot, dot, slash. Dot. Pause......”
I found myself, shocked, at the realization of what he was saying, although I’ve felt what was just never said between us.
He finished the sentence, then took in the light and rolled up the window.
I didn’t move from where I was, as his lights turned off and the car door slowly opened.
He moved to right below where I was.
I let go of the switch, after turning it off, and moved near the edge.
We watched each other from where we were.
“Do you want to go for a walk?”
I nodded and smiled, before quietly walking back into the bedroom. I looked at the clock on the bedside table, and the “1:25” was blinking. As usual, my husband was face down and asleep.
I left our place after carefully closing the door, then went outside where he still stood.
We were near each other, when he reached out and kissed my forehead.
“I need to be alone with you,” he said.
We wordlessly just started walking and our steps led us to a small path leading to a private area.

We sat down on the bench, near each other, and I had my hand palm down between us.
He sat facing me, his hand on top of mine.
I didn’t look at him for a few seconds, before turning his way.
The shade of the trees shielded us from nearby windows.
He leaned in and kissed me.

We were kissing when a person standing near us started coughing.
I slowly pulled away from Colin, then we both turned to the other person, who stepped closer, out of the dark.
Of course, the man I thought to be asleep stood behind us, with the most disturbed look on his face. He didn’t look sad or pissed off, but combined with something else. He didn’t say anything, but just stood there, staring at us, out of disbelief.

A minute passed and none of us said anything.
He turned and walked away.
I turned back to Colin and he put his hands on the side of my face.
“We don’t have to hide anymore.”
We looked at each other and smiled, before he leaned in and kissed me.

He walked me home, then kissed my cheek.
“Come inside with me.”
He paused then asked, “I get to sleep with you?”
I nodded.

We both walked inside the house and my husband was still awake. He sat on the couch, staring at us, when we walked in.
He stood up.
“I thought about it. I was going to just leave, but, No. You are my wife, “ he said, before turning to Colin. “You’re going to have to share her with me.”
I didn’t say anything, but turned to Colin.
He slowly reached for my hand and held it, while we both remained silent.

A few months passed and one night, I was awake and on the couch, quietly sketching out ideas. It was slightly warm and only had on a mauve nightgown.
“Do you want any company?”
I sat up and Colin stood near me.
He wore a white t-shirt and boxers.
I smiled at him and he sat near me.
He yawned and buried his head in my neck.
“Come back to bed.”
“I can’t right now. I need to think.”
Pause.
“Okay.”
He started humming under his breath, before slowly stretching out and putting his head on my lap.
I leaned back and casually ran my fingers through his hair.
Slowly, he fell back asleep.
I went back to making the drawings.

It was around 4am while I continued, when the light came on in the living room.
Neil stood there wearing a suit and tie, before I slowly turned to him.
He leaned against the wall, looking at us, before silently moving into the kitchen, around the corner.
He took the container from the coffee pot and went to the sink and filled it with water, before replacing it and putting more grounds in the top.
The whole time he had his back to me, as he made his breakfast. Usually he’d throw me an occasional comment and look of endearment over his shoulder as he did this morning ritual of coffee and eggs and toast, while I’m on the couch, but regularly ignores me now whenever he sees us together.

Before he left, he did something he hadn’t done since Colin moved in with us. He came over after finishing his coffee, then seeing Colin was deep asleep, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was warm and he moved a strand of hair back, before he patted me on the shoulder and exited out the garage door.

I gently woke Colin, before suggesting we go back to bed.

We were both under the covers, when he moved closer and snuggled against me. The whole of his body touching mine. I couldn’t close my eyes but stared at the ceiling for the next three hours. I quietly got out of bed after that amount of time, unravelling him, and found myself slowly walk to the main bedroom and sit down on the bed. The grey with dark green and black stripes danced around the sheets and pillows. I ran my hand over the duvet and one of the pillows.
I lied down, my face on what once was my pillow, and found a smile come over my face before my eyes closed.

A few hours had passed and I was woken to the sound of Colin playing his guitar in the other room.
The singing was muffled and there were awkward pauses, as if he was in the process of having a discussion outloud.

He had his back to the door. A small digital recorder sat on the bed and a guitar in his hands.
I stood against the door frame and watched as he wrote something down on paper then turned the tape player on.
He started singing, before abruptly stopping and slowly turning to me. He smiled then waved me over.

An hour had passed and he had the whole song written. I was lying on my back and casually humming along with the song, while he was frustrating himself because he couldn’t seem to figure out a way to sing it, without constantly stopping the player.
I had my eyes closed, when he stopped again.
I opened my eyes and stopped while he was playing his guitar, with an eye cocked at me.
“I’ve heard you sing before and was wondering what you could do with the lyrics.”
I raised an eyebrow back.
“I could try.”
I turned to the paper and picked it up.

Half an hour later, we were done and he played it back for us. He looked satisfied and I just sat there. I’ve never heard my voice like that before and it didn’t sound anything at all like me.
I must have been deep in thought when he stopped it and looked at me.
“So, what do you think?”
I slowly looked at him and shrugged.
“You sound good.”
“I do?”
“You don’t think so?”
I shook my head.
He sighed, then mumbled to himself, “We are all our own worst critic,” before turning the player back on and listening to the rest of it.

Around dinner time, the three of us sat around the table. I sat on one end, as Colin sat at one side, while Neil sat at the other end. Neil was going on about his day, and I was patiently listening, smiling and nodding, when Colin suddenly interjected something about getting a phone call from a record label, to which we both reacted by staring at him until he dropped his napkin and excused himself from the table.

I stood in the kitchen, washing the dishes, when Neil came in. He stood nearby drinking his customary glass of after dinner red wine. My hands were full when he leaned in and swallowed the bit in his mouth, before kissing me.
He broke away and we looked at each other. It slightly tingled, when his kisses used to set every inch of me alight. The look of satisfaction filled his eyes, as disappointment quickly exposed mine. I couldn’t look at him and turned away, silently going back to the task at hand.
He quietly picked his drink up and slowly left the room, lingering at the door. I didn’t look at him, but knew thoughts were adrift in his head as he looked at me before exiting.

Two days later, he was packing his things and leaving.
I stood in the doorway, as he precisely puzzled his clothes and other belongings together in the four suitcases.
He chuckled to himself and said, “I always thought you were the one who was going to leave when...,” before he trailed off then shut the last bag. The smile was erased from his mouth. He stood there and looked at me.
“I’m not supposed to leave. Why are you letting me do this?”
As if to answer the question, Colin showed up in the doorway and wrapped an arm around my waist, before gently turning my face his way and kissing my cheek.
Neil looked at his watch, before picking up one of the cases and stopping near us. He put his free hand on Colin’s shoulder, making us both pause.
“Treat her well, or I will come after you.”
Colin nodded.
Neil walked past us.
I don’t remember much else from that day, except he left behind a half empty bottle of Drakkar Noir, which I had bought for him while we dated and he used to wear it every day, until he found out about Colin.
It didn’t dawn on me, until long after he left, that he still wore his ring.

I found myself sitting in the room, on the bed. He only took the 56 inch screen TV, his recliner and two bookcases that housed his novels. One of our favorite Saturday morning activities was to spend hours in thrift stores, after a long leisurely coffee and bagels. He would bring home an armful of second editions with partly ripped covers, while dresses from different eras found space in the closet.
My bare feet made small circles in the carpet, when Colin walked in and sat down at the edge of the bed. He put his arms around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him and slowly pulled us back onto the bed.

A year and a half quickly passed and I walked into the local grocery store. Colin and I were now married and expecting our first child. I was four months pregnant, and starting to show.
I was slowly pushing the cart when I stopped at the fruit section, picking up a few peaches, when I suddenly became aware of a pair of eyes watching me.
I casually looked around and didn’t see anyone, so went back to bagging the fruit.
I had six in the bag and moved in front of the cart, before setting them down, then looked up from the cart and saw Neil standing in one of the aisles, looking at me. He looked pained, when we made eye contact.
We didn’t say anything and I just turned away and moved the cart to another aisle.

I was in line, casually flipping through a magazine, when I felt him nearby. He was in the next line.
When I looked at him, he weakly waved hello. He looked about the same, except he had slowly grown a beard and lack of sleep was taking a toll on him.
I put the magazine back and found myself looking up at the ceiling.

I walked out with the groceries and before I could make it to the car, he stopped me.
“Hannah?”
I quickly froze, as he moved closer.
He stood in front of me and without much thought, he quickly put his hands on the sides of my face and passionately kissed me.
I made no motion either way to discourage or encourage him.
He slowly pulled away and was about to take me into his arms, before looking down at my belly.
His hand slowly ran across my stomach and he slowly backed away, realizing that we could never go back to where we were.
I watched as he tried to hide his tears as he quickly moved to his car and got in.
He didn’t look at me when he pulled out of the parking lot and drove off.
I stood there for a few seconds, before pushing the cart to the car and opening the trunk.