SECTION TWO:
1.
Wine in a cup.
Each side held by
Her right and His left
hands.
Her turn first.
A tendril tumbled
slowly
as she bent her head
forward.
Her eyes still cast
upon her husband.
His eyes faked love,
as he saw her take the
fatal sip.
"We are one," he said.
The cup fell out of her
grasp,
as she fell down
onto the ground.
Her face grew more
pallid,
as long eyelashes
closed her lids.
Darkness had filled a
large void unable to
knock some sense into
him.
All he thought of was
that Thursday
When he found her
loving another.
This anniversary was
to be their last.
Panic had spread, but
he did nothing.
Standing there to
watch the effects of
the poison.
"Goodbye, love. We are two."
After setting the cup
down
On the table carefully
he shed false tears.
2.
Standing in one corner,
watching people as they pass.
Feeling lost and alone.
Do I really belong here?
I'm waiting for someone.
Reading the magazine.
Unable to concentrate.
Maybe he left sooner.
Maybe he didn't know.
Maybe he won't come.
A rose in my hat.
No one's looking.
No one.
I should go home.
Someone looked.
Is it him?
I see a rose in his shoe.
Not bad.
Dark, puppy dog eyes.
Brown curls lay under a grey cap.
Blue denim jacket, with similiar shirt.
Dark grey jeans.
No belt.
Sneakers tied a little different.
Different is what I need.
He's coming my way.
"Do you want some java before the concert?"
"All right."
3.
The thought of being
in bed with you Has
crossed my mind many times. Mad passionate love--
I've thought of it
doing the dishes,
doing many things.
Taking a shower, I've envisioned your hands and mouth.
Sleeping, I've imagined you next to me.
Listening to music, I've dreamt you singing it to me.
I can't stop.
Maybe if you really did
throw my arms around yourself and
]tossed my thighs around yours.
Maybe if you really did enter me and
make me sigh your name.
Maybe.
4.
Another night of
endless insomnia.
Spending it in bed
listening to --, Plus
this constant ticking
of the clock.
I wish I could stop this habit.
They should switch my
tv shows to afternoon.
Somehow they always
allot the best
afterhours.
There's no advantage--
Only to maniacs and
insomniacs Like
myself and others.
5.
11:30 am.
Friday morning.
11:35 am [Class]
Echoes around the halls ...
Sitting in a classroom ...
Listening in on other's conversations ...
Students working, talking, and etc ...
Teacher thumbing through a folder ...
Four more minutes of class ...
Squares on the floor ...
Fairly empty room ...
Sixteen people ...
No more time to wait when it hits the eight ...
Goodbye, class.
6.
Two O'clock in the morning. Spent with an abuser.
Head swirling from beer. Handcuffed to the bed. Saliva, sweat, and blood.
I had no idea what was going on.
Cigarette butt casting a certain aura, mixed with incense.
Bottles thrown on the floor after being emptied.
Bedsheets tossed all around --
the people on them were responsible.
It's now eleven o'clock am. These stains can't erase memories.
Don't remember much.
I woke, still handcuffed. Next to a blindfolded mate in my dress.
Funny, I don't remember tearing it.
Incense still burning to the root -- the only thing still going.
7.
Weak body, tired arms
Belong to this person.
Lying on my back
exhausted from this result.
My bones felt like
caving in, while
supporting my frame.
Sweat was repeatedly wiped off my forehead.
I held your hand tightly,
constantly screaming
why'd you do this to me?
It's not your fault--It's both of ours.
After the cord was cut,
they put him in my arms.
It felt weird holding something that had
been in my body for
nine months.
So small and fragile.
A tiny gift, wrapped in towels.
He has your eyes.
Sparkling hazel eyes,
Your nose, your ears ...
He has my mouth and coloring.
What a little charmer we've made.
8.
It was very late at night when
the strangest feeling ran through me.
It's not fear,
not anything at all.
A certain void, that's all.
At around 2 o'clock am,
I was sitting on my desk
staring out my window with
darkness surrounding and silence,
Except for
music.
An unseeable presence
lingers near watching
from somewhere.
It enjoys spontaneous blankness.
Sitting did nothing.
Maybe it chose there to have an accompaniment.
Thoughts didn't enter or leave.
Something was blocking out this and that.
Moments wasted away
Lost to silence and
darkness.
9.
Waves crashed against
the body face down on the ground.
Blood soaked sand, as he was turned over.
Shoeless with ripped cuffs.
A knife tightly gripped in one hand.
Rolled in the other a note saying, "Goodbye."
We stood stunned.
His girlfriend leaned her head on my shoulder and cried silently.
While his pockets were searched for identification, I stood holding her.
Tears burnt into my shoulders, Ingraving themselves.
My eyes could not believe what they were seeing.
His girlfriend and I walked off, shocked out of our minds.
"It's all my fault," she said.
I couldn't speak above a whisper.
"You're not to blame," was all I could manage.
10.
Floating down the river.
Flowers around me.
My hair full of water.
I was going the wrong direction.
My clothes billowing.
Floating with a slight rocking motion.
I'm a boat with an invisible motor.
I went the wrong direction.
Branches blocking a blind area --
Blind to reveal a deep area.
It was shallow when I started.
My face dipped below.
My body seemed to become stifled.
Branches intertwined with my hair.
I couldn't breathe, but swallow.
Swallowing water that won't escape.
I've become the next Ophelia.
11.
Striving something more.
We reach for them.
Is it the stars?
Is it the moon?
Is it Pluto?
It's all within our reach.
Our abilities make us able.
Musicians, painters, writers ...
Talents chaotic in our mind
seem to expose
themselves through
endless mediums.
The heavens above
have no limit on us
to hold ourselves
back.
Nobody can refuse
these object of beauty
placed before them.
Heeding the advice of our own,
soon enough others catch on.
12.
The look on your face expressed what I was thinking.
Standing there unclothed, I
swear you wanted to
laugh.
I could see the
amusement sparkling
your eyes. With my
unshavened legs and
your starting to swell
belly.
It didn't seem to
extinguish our desire
for each other. You
wrapped your
non-muscular arms around my motherly hips.
A Soft laugh came through my left ear.
I pushed you off-
Only to collapse laughing.
Who said we're physically perfect?
No one is, in this world.
My breasts aren't very full. Your arse is really flat.
Never mind!
It's what you do with your tools, not what they look like.
13.
It is my one wish to marry and have children.
Ha! That's a laugh.
Tradition leads to weirdness. If white means
innocence and purity,
then what of the men?
Half of these lovematches end in mismatches.
Marriage is for promising yourself to someone, under watch,
'til your body expires.
I'm too young to understand the beauty of that.
Children, the very thought. I want a tiny rugrat to ruin my life.
Make me poorer,
lose sleep,
generally lose my mind ...
I have no patience to spare. Maybe with time,
my ideals will change.
14.
Darling, I have a few confessions to air out.
As if you didn't know.
I'm confused of what I want.
You might take it as indecisiveness.
I don't know--
I guess it is.
Several things have
been bugging me.
my mind and my body
are at odds.
Unable to accept what
the other has to say.
one wants friendship,
the other craves affection.
Somehow, I've managed
to acknowledge one over
the other.
Yet I'm still unsure.
Please help me
decide which direction
to go.
15.
Around now something
should spring up from somewhere.
While I sit and wait,
stirring the coffee with the spoon.
My magazine open to this page or that.
Nothing's happening.
Whispering to each other,
and dropping a few more cubes.
Looking around the diner.
People passing the window,
Going through the door, or
Seated in various ways.
Nothing's going to happen.
Time to vacate our seats.
Money set next to the bill.
Goodbyes said to one another.
My coat on one arm,
while I held my purse.
We left the doorway,
and you entered a taxi.
I stood and waved to you.
Nothing happened.
16.
I have to let go of you.
These memories are the only things I have and hold.
If you weren't gone,
I wouldn't have to do this.
Bastard! Why did you do this to me?
My body feels empty and
My bands feel unused.
They were satisfied with you around.
With no one to hold them,
I think they're going to rot and fall off,
or apart.
I wish you could come back.
Whatever is keeping you from returning?
Is it she?
Is it the hours?
Is it them? What is it?
Must I find you and tell you straight
from my heart all it wants
expressed?
Or, should I continue without you?
17.
I've left one question
unanswered.
The question that
seems
to burn you
deep down inside.
I think I know the
answer but then again not.
Every night when I lay down to bed,
I ask myself,
"Do I want this, also?"
I'm sorry for making
you wait.
Last time I called,
a week ago,
I got the answering machine.
I had no plans to
answer, but time
has come.
You will get your
answer.
18.
Behind the building we stood.
The skin contact of your hands on my waist.
I wasn't wearing two shirts--But a sweater and a tank top.
You have very nice brown eyes, when I stared into them.
After our close contact, something came over us.
Whatever it was--the product was indescribable.
Saliva, mouths, and tongues mixed to form it.
It seemed to last forever.
It wasn't me who drooled, after you wiped my mouth.
The aftermath of it caused a certain warmness all over.
I wanted to rip off your clothes and shag you.
My head fell on your shoulders and then thirst came.
I took two gulps, then set it down.
We looked at each other
smiling and happy.
Now, if only you slept with me.
19.
Thanks to you, I'm still awake.
Just as I was going to fall asleep,
lustful images attacked.
I could almost taste them.
My blanket is on the edge,
after I pushed them off.
I think I know what you felt.
I feel fully hollow.
It's around 23 after 3am.
God! I wish you were here.
I need a rubdown.
Having your hands on my spots.
You'd look really good,
while my mouth
savors your manhood.
You're probably asleep
having sweet dreams, while
I suffer from pain.
Is it really necessary?
Twenty-one minutes
have passed and no let
up yet.
20.
Do you remember
the time we spent alone
on the cement?
My head rested on your lap,
while you kissed my neck.
I heard slurping sounds.
Well, you are strange.
You changed something in me--
I hope you realise.
Before all those moments, I never cared about you.
All your thoughts culminated into a confession.
That was the turning point.
I don't know what will happen.
Maybe good, maybe bad.
I haven't talked to you for two weeks.
It seemed like centuries, though.
Too many minutes to be apart.
If you're still waiting,
I have something to tell you.
21.
As I was about to leave the table,
you reached out for me.
Your hand held onto my wrist.
I turned to look at you.
Your eyes crossed unknown territory
when our gazes met.
I detected a certain sadness.
Warmth spread through me.
A slight tingle from your grasp.
I couldn't breathe from fear.
You looked rather hungry.
For all the world to see,
you pulled me closer.
Letting your hold make itself known.
our lips met, searching for something.
Your hand now grasped my nape,
while mine caressed your ear.
Kisses said what words couldn't.
After we both released ourselves,
our gazes met once again.
Everything was effortlessly carried off.
All feelings of anger missing.
Again as I got up from the table,
you reached for me.
Only to hold my body
against yours,
as we left together.
22.
I never noticed
Any of your clues early enough.
Some made me curious, though.
One time didn't you say
You couldn't have sex.
Something about moaning my name.
What about that other time when you yelled at me, concerned.
I could never forget the many times you called me
"community property" and laid your head on my shoulder.
HOW about the arguments with your "enemy"?
I never realized how much you kissed my ass to get what you want.
Towards the end, you almost --by barely-- won your prize.
Almost beat your competition.
Almost gained what you've wanted.
Only to have time and distance kill what you almost had.
23.
There he stood
--over there--
and projected a certain magnetism.
Enough to pull me in.
Catching my eye, I noticed.
I don't know for what length of time,
we stood staring at each other.
Talked to someone else,
yet I had my sight there.
Quite unsure how far apart we were,
yet it did seem near.
Almost all others were blocked from sight and sound.
I'm very unaware of what I thought or was thinking of.
Having such scattered ideas, then.
Maybe a sense of overwhelmment overcame me.
I can't deny that I noticed.
His smile was nice and friendly,
inviting for anyone who saw,
yet I was the only witness.
I'm sure he's forgotten by now,
but I never will.
24.
I came home to such a sight!
My lover was fondling a picture of ourselves.
I stood in the doorway
aroused and repulsed
to see a man interacting with a piece of decoration.
My eyes widened
as he started to breathe my name.
His eyes closed as a moan escaped his lips.
Sweat glistened on his body.
He was on his back--
Facing up.
\His head fell to the side,
while still having closed eyes.
His eyes opened--
Startling himself.
I stood staring and unmoving.
He dropped the picture and quickly got up.
He put the picture back from where it was.
Unable to look me in the face,
he turned around and dressed himself.
25.
The lights stayed off.
A soft sound emitted.
The blinds half opened.
Faint outline of two people.
Kissing, hugging, and holding.
I pass this room every night on the trip home.
Sometimes, I hear something.
Sometimes, I don't.
These two naked bodies on the bed.
I wonder what they look like.
It's no business of mine to wonder.
I have no involvement with them, or do I?
These could be friends of mine that I freely associate with.
Or, perhaps not.
They could be complete strangers.
They could be anyone.
It's freezing out here.
I'm sure they're warm.
I won't consider ...
I won't wonder...
I won't care who they are.
Yes - well - maybe - I will.
Passing by anonymous window.
26.
I first saw you across
the room.
Whatever impulse
made me--Probably
boredom--Led me to
look around.
Each time I've gazed at
you, something would
hold my attention.
Your eyes, I find most
beautiful of these
things.
Rather dark, almost
black eyes.
Sitting in my seat, I'd
rather be close.
Close enough, I could
use my senses.
Senses to determine
your interest level.
Senses to seduce you.
27.
Many mornings have been spent
feeling empty and hollow.
Alone again on the bed,
awakening to nothing.
Dreams have weird ways of satisfying.
That is, until waking.
Then moments of unfillment
haunt and ridicule.
28.
Looking at you,
I can only guess your thoughts. You sit, while I kneel.
My elbows on the couch with hands grasping yours.
Pleading for an answer in some form of desperation.
Partially blinded by tears,
my eyes search your face.
Staring into vast blankness,
the exploring was useless.
Frantically, my worries overcame me.
Could I of stunned you into becoming mute and indifferent?
Off my knees,
I stood.
Wringing my hands,
I paced.
Wiping my moist face,
I threw myself in a chair,
not knowing you came close.
I found your head fall onto my thighs.
An almost unablity to talk,
but with enough to end my fruitless hunt.
29.
Somewhere in my body,
there's a bottomless pit.
Open to abuses and temptations.
Stabbed apart by all these around.
Unable to form scabs,
because of all the repeated attacks.
I'm a bloody mess.
Most of my sores have been reopened,
leaving me weak and vulnerable.
I'm completely sure
I can't raise my arm off the ground, and
ask for help.
Nothing can move anymore.
Bleeding all over the ground, I'm almost complete.
A nameless splotch on the sand.
Various scars in unspeakable areas
say more than can be said --
Barely a whisper, yet loud enough.
Invisible moans escape into the atmosphere.
Of all my remaining skin and bones,
give me a proper burial.
I'm sure that my efforts to end
my abuse and torment
were not drained with the rest.
30.
I fell asleep on the beach
unaware of the warning.
Awakened to witness
what I've least expected.
Startled,
I grabbed my belongings,
but it was too late.
The wave with invisible hands grabbed and pulled me into her realm.
Current and tide washed by with such physical strength,
I thought only men could possess.
No others were near to hear my screams and cries.
Seagulls and water blocked out all sounds.
Hopelessly, I prayed someone could rescue me-
My only chance surviving.
Signalled my hand to any other witness,
it soon went below sea level.
No longer able to beat off the force against me,
I was defeated and carried down into her deepest depths.
31.
Walking along a decided path,
out from a room flowed music.
Upon catching my ear,
I became curious.
Beauty drew me into her room.
Standing in her threshold,
I saw three musicians playing.
One, being a woman, and the two others
-men, of course--
sat being the audience.
In there with her, they were.
Seating myself to the right of the lair,
I became part of the passive audience.
Remembering, while I sit here, and not there.
There were two and an half songs,
since I've arrived late.
Precious moments exist for only so long.
Quite a shame, they never last forever.
32.
There you were with her.
Her--
an unnamed bimbo.
Her--
a shameless bitch.
Holding hands and happy,
You would look better with a knife shoved in your back.
You fuck her, don't you?
So, is this the result of all my attempts?
You can't ignore me.
I'11 always be there.
Forever belittling you,
in my own way.
Should I burn the pictures?
Should I get on with my life?
Not when you're with that slut.
You shall suffer, suffer, suffer.
1.
Wine in a cup.
Each side held by
Her right and His left
hands.
Her turn first.
A tendril tumbled
slowly
as she bent her head
forward.
Her eyes still cast
upon her husband.
His eyes faked love,
as he saw her take the
fatal sip.
"We are one," he said.
The cup fell out of her
grasp,
as she fell down
onto the ground.
Her face grew more
pallid,
as long eyelashes
closed her lids.
Darkness had filled a
large void unable to
knock some sense into
him.
All he thought of was
that Thursday
When he found her
loving another.
This anniversary was
to be their last.
Panic had spread, but
he did nothing.
Standing there to
watch the effects of
the poison.
"Goodbye, love. We are two."
After setting the cup
down
On the table carefully
he shed false tears.
2.
Standing in one corner,
watching people as they pass.
Feeling lost and alone.
Do I really belong here?
I'm waiting for someone.
Reading the magazine.
Unable to concentrate.
Maybe he left sooner.
Maybe he didn't know.
Maybe he won't come.
A rose in my hat.
No one's looking.
No one.
I should go home.
Someone looked.
Is it him?
I see a rose in his shoe.
Not bad.
Dark, puppy dog eyes.
Brown curls lay under a grey cap.
Blue denim jacket, with similiar shirt.
Dark grey jeans.
No belt.
Sneakers tied a little different.
Different is what I need.
He's coming my way.
"Do you want some java before the concert?"
"All right."
3.
The thought of being
in bed with you Has
crossed my mind many times. Mad passionate love--
I've thought of it
doing the dishes,
doing many things.
Taking a shower, I've envisioned your hands and mouth.
Sleeping, I've imagined you next to me.
Listening to music, I've dreamt you singing it to me.
I can't stop.
Maybe if you really did
throw my arms around yourself and
]tossed my thighs around yours.
Maybe if you really did enter me and
make me sigh your name.
Maybe.
4.
Another night of
endless insomnia.
Spending it in bed
listening to --, Plus
this constant ticking
of the clock.
I wish I could stop this habit.
They should switch my
tv shows to afternoon.
Somehow they always
allot the best
afterhours.
There's no advantage--
Only to maniacs and
insomniacs Like
myself and others.
5.
11:30 am.
Friday morning.
11:35 am [Class]
Echoes around the halls ...
Sitting in a classroom ...
Listening in on other's conversations ...
Students working, talking, and etc ...
Teacher thumbing through a folder ...
Four more minutes of class ...
Squares on the floor ...
Fairly empty room ...
Sixteen people ...
No more time to wait when it hits the eight ...
Goodbye, class.
6.
Two O'clock in the morning. Spent with an abuser.
Head swirling from beer. Handcuffed to the bed. Saliva, sweat, and blood.
I had no idea what was going on.
Cigarette butt casting a certain aura, mixed with incense.
Bottles thrown on the floor after being emptied.
Bedsheets tossed all around --
the people on them were responsible.
It's now eleven o'clock am. These stains can't erase memories.
Don't remember much.
I woke, still handcuffed. Next to a blindfolded mate in my dress.
Funny, I don't remember tearing it.
Incense still burning to the root -- the only thing still going.
7.
Weak body, tired arms
Belong to this person.
Lying on my back
exhausted from this result.
My bones felt like
caving in, while
supporting my frame.
Sweat was repeatedly wiped off my forehead.
I held your hand tightly,
constantly screaming
why'd you do this to me?
It's not your fault--It's both of ours.
After the cord was cut,
they put him in my arms.
It felt weird holding something that had
been in my body for
nine months.
So small and fragile.
A tiny gift, wrapped in towels.
He has your eyes.
Sparkling hazel eyes,
Your nose, your ears ...
He has my mouth and coloring.
What a little charmer we've made.
8.
It was very late at night when
the strangest feeling ran through me.
It's not fear,
not anything at all.
A certain void, that's all.
At around 2 o'clock am,
I was sitting on my desk
staring out my window with
darkness surrounding and silence,
Except for
music.
An unseeable presence
lingers near watching
from somewhere.
It enjoys spontaneous blankness.
Sitting did nothing.
Maybe it chose there to have an accompaniment.
Thoughts didn't enter or leave.
Something was blocking out this and that.
Moments wasted away
Lost to silence and
darkness.
9.
Waves crashed against
the body face down on the ground.
Blood soaked sand, as he was turned over.
Shoeless with ripped cuffs.
A knife tightly gripped in one hand.
Rolled in the other a note saying, "Goodbye."
We stood stunned.
His girlfriend leaned her head on my shoulder and cried silently.
While his pockets were searched for identification, I stood holding her.
Tears burnt into my shoulders, Ingraving themselves.
My eyes could not believe what they were seeing.
His girlfriend and I walked off, shocked out of our minds.
"It's all my fault," she said.
I couldn't speak above a whisper.
"You're not to blame," was all I could manage.
10.
Floating down the river.
Flowers around me.
My hair full of water.
I was going the wrong direction.
My clothes billowing.
Floating with a slight rocking motion.
I'm a boat with an invisible motor.
I went the wrong direction.
Branches blocking a blind area --
Blind to reveal a deep area.
It was shallow when I started.
My face dipped below.
My body seemed to become stifled.
Branches intertwined with my hair.
I couldn't breathe, but swallow.
Swallowing water that won't escape.
I've become the next Ophelia.
11.
Striving something more.
We reach for them.
Is it the stars?
Is it the moon?
Is it Pluto?
It's all within our reach.
Our abilities make us able.
Musicians, painters, writers ...
Talents chaotic in our mind
seem to expose
themselves through
endless mediums.
The heavens above
have no limit on us
to hold ourselves
back.
Nobody can refuse
these object of beauty
placed before them.
Heeding the advice of our own,
soon enough others catch on.
12.
The look on your face expressed what I was thinking.
Standing there unclothed, I
swear you wanted to
laugh.
I could see the
amusement sparkling
your eyes. With my
unshavened legs and
your starting to swell
belly.
It didn't seem to
extinguish our desire
for each other. You
wrapped your
non-muscular arms around my motherly hips.
A Soft laugh came through my left ear.
I pushed you off-
Only to collapse laughing.
Who said we're physically perfect?
No one is, in this world.
My breasts aren't very full. Your arse is really flat.
Never mind!
It's what you do with your tools, not what they look like.
13.
It is my one wish to marry and have children.
Ha! That's a laugh.
Tradition leads to weirdness. If white means
innocence and purity,
then what of the men?
Half of these lovematches end in mismatches.
Marriage is for promising yourself to someone, under watch,
'til your body expires.
I'm too young to understand the beauty of that.
Children, the very thought. I want a tiny rugrat to ruin my life.
Make me poorer,
lose sleep,
generally lose my mind ...
I have no patience to spare. Maybe with time,
my ideals will change.
14.
Darling, I have a few confessions to air out.
As if you didn't know.
I'm confused of what I want.
You might take it as indecisiveness.
I don't know--
I guess it is.
Several things have
been bugging me.
my mind and my body
are at odds.
Unable to accept what
the other has to say.
one wants friendship,
the other craves affection.
Somehow, I've managed
to acknowledge one over
the other.
Yet I'm still unsure.
Please help me
decide which direction
to go.
15.
Around now something
should spring up from somewhere.
While I sit and wait,
stirring the coffee with the spoon.
My magazine open to this page or that.
Nothing's happening.
Whispering to each other,
and dropping a few more cubes.
Looking around the diner.
People passing the window,
Going through the door, or
Seated in various ways.
Nothing's going to happen.
Time to vacate our seats.
Money set next to the bill.
Goodbyes said to one another.
My coat on one arm,
while I held my purse.
We left the doorway,
and you entered a taxi.
I stood and waved to you.
Nothing happened.
16.
I have to let go of you.
These memories are the only things I have and hold.
If you weren't gone,
I wouldn't have to do this.
Bastard! Why did you do this to me?
My body feels empty and
My bands feel unused.
They were satisfied with you around.
With no one to hold them,
I think they're going to rot and fall off,
or apart.
I wish you could come back.
Whatever is keeping you from returning?
Is it she?
Is it the hours?
Is it them? What is it?
Must I find you and tell you straight
from my heart all it wants
expressed?
Or, should I continue without you?
17.
I've left one question
unanswered.
The question that
seems
to burn you
deep down inside.
I think I know the
answer but then again not.
Every night when I lay down to bed,
I ask myself,
"Do I want this, also?"
I'm sorry for making
you wait.
Last time I called,
a week ago,
I got the answering machine.
I had no plans to
answer, but time
has come.
You will get your
answer.
18.
Behind the building we stood.
The skin contact of your hands on my waist.
I wasn't wearing two shirts--But a sweater and a tank top.
You have very nice brown eyes, when I stared into them.
After our close contact, something came over us.
Whatever it was--the product was indescribable.
Saliva, mouths, and tongues mixed to form it.
It seemed to last forever.
It wasn't me who drooled, after you wiped my mouth.
The aftermath of it caused a certain warmness all over.
I wanted to rip off your clothes and shag you.
My head fell on your shoulders and then thirst came.
I took two gulps, then set it down.
We looked at each other
smiling and happy.
Now, if only you slept with me.
19.
Thanks to you, I'm still awake.
Just as I was going to fall asleep,
lustful images attacked.
I could almost taste them.
My blanket is on the edge,
after I pushed them off.
I think I know what you felt.
I feel fully hollow.
It's around 23 after 3am.
God! I wish you were here.
I need a rubdown.
Having your hands on my spots.
You'd look really good,
while my mouth
savors your manhood.
You're probably asleep
having sweet dreams, while
I suffer from pain.
Is it really necessary?
Twenty-one minutes
have passed and no let
up yet.
20.
Do you remember
the time we spent alone
on the cement?
My head rested on your lap,
while you kissed my neck.
I heard slurping sounds.
Well, you are strange.
You changed something in me--
I hope you realise.
Before all those moments, I never cared about you.
All your thoughts culminated into a confession.
That was the turning point.
I don't know what will happen.
Maybe good, maybe bad.
I haven't talked to you for two weeks.
It seemed like centuries, though.
Too many minutes to be apart.
If you're still waiting,
I have something to tell you.
21.
As I was about to leave the table,
you reached out for me.
Your hand held onto my wrist.
I turned to look at you.
Your eyes crossed unknown territory
when our gazes met.
I detected a certain sadness.
Warmth spread through me.
A slight tingle from your grasp.
I couldn't breathe from fear.
You looked rather hungry.
For all the world to see,
you pulled me closer.
Letting your hold make itself known.
our lips met, searching for something.
Your hand now grasped my nape,
while mine caressed your ear.
Kisses said what words couldn't.
After we both released ourselves,
our gazes met once again.
Everything was effortlessly carried off.
All feelings of anger missing.
Again as I got up from the table,
you reached for me.
Only to hold my body
against yours,
as we left together.
22.
I never noticed
Any of your clues early enough.
Some made me curious, though.
One time didn't you say
You couldn't have sex.
Something about moaning my name.
What about that other time when you yelled at me, concerned.
I could never forget the many times you called me
"community property" and laid your head on my shoulder.
HOW about the arguments with your "enemy"?
I never realized how much you kissed my ass to get what you want.
Towards the end, you almost --by barely-- won your prize.
Almost beat your competition.
Almost gained what you've wanted.
Only to have time and distance kill what you almost had.
23.
There he stood
--over there--
and projected a certain magnetism.
Enough to pull me in.
Catching my eye, I noticed.
I don't know for what length of time,
we stood staring at each other.
Talked to someone else,
yet I had my sight there.
Quite unsure how far apart we were,
yet it did seem near.
Almost all others were blocked from sight and sound.
I'm very unaware of what I thought or was thinking of.
Having such scattered ideas, then.
Maybe a sense of overwhelmment overcame me.
I can't deny that I noticed.
His smile was nice and friendly,
inviting for anyone who saw,
yet I was the only witness.
I'm sure he's forgotten by now,
but I never will.
24.
I came home to such a sight!
My lover was fondling a picture of ourselves.
I stood in the doorway
aroused and repulsed
to see a man interacting with a piece of decoration.
My eyes widened
as he started to breathe my name.
His eyes closed as a moan escaped his lips.
Sweat glistened on his body.
He was on his back--
Facing up.
\His head fell to the side,
while still having closed eyes.
His eyes opened--
Startling himself.
I stood staring and unmoving.
He dropped the picture and quickly got up.
He put the picture back from where it was.
Unable to look me in the face,
he turned around and dressed himself.
25.
The lights stayed off.
A soft sound emitted.
The blinds half opened.
Faint outline of two people.
Kissing, hugging, and holding.
I pass this room every night on the trip home.
Sometimes, I hear something.
Sometimes, I don't.
These two naked bodies on the bed.
I wonder what they look like.
It's no business of mine to wonder.
I have no involvement with them, or do I?
These could be friends of mine that I freely associate with.
Or, perhaps not.
They could be complete strangers.
They could be anyone.
It's freezing out here.
I'm sure they're warm.
I won't consider ...
I won't wonder...
I won't care who they are.
Yes - well - maybe - I will.
Passing by anonymous window.
26.
I first saw you across
the room.
Whatever impulse
made me--Probably
boredom--Led me to
look around.
Each time I've gazed at
you, something would
hold my attention.
Your eyes, I find most
beautiful of these
things.
Rather dark, almost
black eyes.
Sitting in my seat, I'd
rather be close.
Close enough, I could
use my senses.
Senses to determine
your interest level.
Senses to seduce you.
27.
Many mornings have been spent
feeling empty and hollow.
Alone again on the bed,
awakening to nothing.
Dreams have weird ways of satisfying.
That is, until waking.
Then moments of unfillment
haunt and ridicule.
28.
Looking at you,
I can only guess your thoughts. You sit, while I kneel.
My elbows on the couch with hands grasping yours.
Pleading for an answer in some form of desperation.
Partially blinded by tears,
my eyes search your face.
Staring into vast blankness,
the exploring was useless.
Frantically, my worries overcame me.
Could I of stunned you into becoming mute and indifferent?
Off my knees,
I stood.
Wringing my hands,
I paced.
Wiping my moist face,
I threw myself in a chair,
not knowing you came close.
I found your head fall onto my thighs.
An almost unablity to talk,
but with enough to end my fruitless hunt.
29.
Somewhere in my body,
there's a bottomless pit.
Open to abuses and temptations.
Stabbed apart by all these around.
Unable to form scabs,
because of all the repeated attacks.
I'm a bloody mess.
Most of my sores have been reopened,
leaving me weak and vulnerable.
I'm completely sure
I can't raise my arm off the ground, and
ask for help.
Nothing can move anymore.
Bleeding all over the ground, I'm almost complete.
A nameless splotch on the sand.
Various scars in unspeakable areas
say more than can be said --
Barely a whisper, yet loud enough.
Invisible moans escape into the atmosphere.
Of all my remaining skin and bones,
give me a proper burial.
I'm sure that my efforts to end
my abuse and torment
were not drained with the rest.
30.
I fell asleep on the beach
unaware of the warning.
Awakened to witness
what I've least expected.
Startled,
I grabbed my belongings,
but it was too late.
The wave with invisible hands grabbed and pulled me into her realm.
Current and tide washed by with such physical strength,
I thought only men could possess.
No others were near to hear my screams and cries.
Seagulls and water blocked out all sounds.
Hopelessly, I prayed someone could rescue me-
My only chance surviving.
Signalled my hand to any other witness,
it soon went below sea level.
No longer able to beat off the force against me,
I was defeated and carried down into her deepest depths.
31.
Walking along a decided path,
out from a room flowed music.
Upon catching my ear,
I became curious.
Beauty drew me into her room.
Standing in her threshold,
I saw three musicians playing.
One, being a woman, and the two others
-men, of course--
sat being the audience.
In there with her, they were.
Seating myself to the right of the lair,
I became part of the passive audience.
Remembering, while I sit here, and not there.
There were two and an half songs,
since I've arrived late.
Precious moments exist for only so long.
Quite a shame, they never last forever.
32.
There you were with her.
Her--
an unnamed bimbo.
Her--
a shameless bitch.
Holding hands and happy,
You would look better with a knife shoved in your back.
You fuck her, don't you?
So, is this the result of all my attempts?
You can't ignore me.
I'11 always be there.
Forever belittling you,
in my own way.
Should I burn the pictures?
Should I get on with my life?
Not when you're with that slut.
You shall suffer, suffer, suffer.
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