Story Thirteen

Was I thinking about anyone while writing this? No.

Is this inspired from any real life events? No.

Do I wish this happened to me? No...Not exactly...

-----------------------------------------

They couldn’t take back the things they said, as they sat there at their computers.
Tears and swear words were exchanged before Sunday typed, “Go.”
Russell rubbed his face. Frustration and concern clearly colored his expression, but didn’t say anything back and logged off.
She paused for a really long time, then turned on the camcorder and confessed everything she felt for a good ten minutes.
After a sigh of exasperation, she found herself start to cry again and shut it off.
Eventually, the crying stopped and she uploaded it onto the blog, then turned off the computer and lied down for a nap.
Sunday curled into the fetal position and stared at the wall, before sleep came to her.

Some time passed and they didn’t talk this whole time.

Sunday woke up and made herself a cup of coffee before she changed into coveralls and went to the studio and continued with the 7 feet by 7 feet abstract painting that she started the night before. She shared the studio with another artist who had part of it partitioned off so she could work on her sculptures and not have pieces of wood and other materials fly across the room. The studio was two blocks away from her studio apartment and she didn’t know it was there until she found herself walking around the neighborhood, bored and restless, after having recently moved to this area.
She walked in and no one else was there. It was around 8 in the morning and she pulled her hair back into a bun before putting on a beret, then putting on disposable rubber gloves. She went over and opened the top drawer of her red storage cabinet and pulled out the palette.

A few hours passed before Callie showed up. Twelve pm had passed. She looked mildly hungover and wore a yellow dress with small white polka dots on it and white flats. Her hair hung in loose, disheveled braids. She went over to Sunday and stood by her.
Sunday turned her head and they smiled at each other, before Sunday stopped.
Callie said, “There was a party last night and people were asking about you, Miss Torrelli.”
“Oh, I was busy.”
“No, you weren’t.”
“No, I wasn’t. I was on the Internet all night researching silent movie stars from the beginning of the 20th century.”
“You’re really weird. So, hey, people wanted to know when you’ll be updating your blog.”
“Soon. Did anybody else want to know anything else?”
“Well, this one guy wanted your number. I gave it to him, because you need to go out more.”
“Okay,” Sunday said, then added,”But, was he cute, at least?”
“He looked like the singer from Chester French.”
“Who?”
“Some guy named D.A Wallach.”
“I don’t know who that band is.”
“He’s this really adorable looking ginger boy--Oh my god! That’s it. I’m dragging you out of your rathole more often.”
Sunday shrugged.
“It’s settled. I’m dragging your ass out tonight.”
Sunday shrugged again, before Callie walked over to the doorway to the little room. She opened the door then stood at the entrance and put on her apron and eye goggles, before closing the door behind her.
Sunday returned to the red and gold and black square.

Later on that night, Callie and Sunday got out of Callie’s car and walked into the bar and over to a small crowd by the side, which consisted of five girls, one boyfriend and another couple of guys.
Before introductions were made, almost immediately, one of them said,”We have been graced by the presence of the famous Internet girl?”
Sunday said, “I’m not famous.”
“You’re famous to us.”
Callie said, “Are you being a sarcastic ass, Brian?”
He shook his head, then said, “No. We’re actually honored she would want to hang out with us lameasses.”

A couple hours passed and Sunday’s cell phone rang in her purse. They sat around and talked and drank. The couple were up and dancing near the table. Someone was talking about some homeless person they kept randomly running into. She snuck a look at her phone. Gordon was calling. A smile came over her face.
She got up and everyone turned to her, before she motioned with her cell.
Callie said, “Who is it?”
“Gordie.”
“Oh, okay.”
Sunday moved away from the table.
“I thought she didn’t have a boyfriend,” one of the girls said.
Callie said, “She says they’re not....”
Sunday didn’t hear the rest of what was said, before she answered her phone.
“Hey, Gordie.”
“Hey, Sunday. I didn’t see you online. Are you busy right now? I wanted to go out and grab something to eat, and was wondering if you wanted to come along.”
“Actually, I’m out with Callie and her friends.”
“Oh,” he said, then paused. “Do you know what time you’re coming home?”
“No.”
There was a pause.
“Hey, well, call me when you get home, k?”
“Will do. Okay, bye.”
“Bye.”
They both hung up.

It was nearly 2am and they all sat around Callie’s place drinking apple juice and playing Mystery Date.
Before Callie took Sunday home, she said to her roommate Craig, who was playing some game on the PlayStation with one of the guys from the group, “If you go through my underwear drawer while I’m gone again, I will kill you. Understand?”
Everyone looked at Craig, who calmly said, “Dude. It was dark and I walked into your bedroom by mistake. That was one time and I thought I was going through my things.”
“Excuses, excuses. Why was the door closed then, huh? Don’t do it again.”
Sunday and Callie walked out the door, with her friends laughing at him and him ignoring her.

Sunday walked into her apartment and she took off her shoes, before sitting on the couch.
After taking out the cell from her purse, she called Gordon, but he didn’t pick up.
She went over to the computer and turned it on, then logged into her instant messenger, hoping Gordon would be on.
He wasn’t.
She left it on and got up to change her clothes.
Half-dressed, her computer signaled to her someone had sent her a message.
She went to the computer half-naked and eventually typed back, “Hi.”, when she saw it was a good friend of hers.
She didn’t expect anything else to be said and about to turn away, before the words, “how are you?” appeared on screen.
“I’m all right.”
“:)” was the reply.
They talked for a bit longer before she got up and finished changing.

Before heading to the studio, Sunday and Callie sat outside a chain coffee shop. Callie was enjoying a cigarette and mid-puff when her cell started ringing.
“What up, bitch?”, she said.
Sunday overheard a high-pitched girl’s voice answer back, but she couldn’t hear what the other girl said.
“Yeah, I’m kinda busy, actually. I’m hanging with Sunday.”
Sunday tuned out after that and looked around, while Callie chatted and finished her cigarette.
At another table, this couple were making out to the point she thought the girl would throw the guy down on the table and do him right there.
She watched them a while before Callie noticed her absentmindedly staring.
Callie turned and saw the couple then quickly mumbled, “Hey, I got to go.” She got up and went to the couple, then stopped them and said, “There are young children here. Am I going to have to hose you off?”
The couple looked at each other and separated, obviously embarrassed.
Callie walked back and sat down.
“Some people have no damn decency,” Callie said, before looking at Sunday, who stared at her coffee cup.
“Are you okay, Torrelli?”
She looked up at her.
“Why do you always refer to me by my last name?”
“Because Sunday is not a name, it’s a day of week.”
“I can’t help what my parents named me.”
They both paused, before Sunday and Callie looked at their cups.
Callie said, “Well, I’m out. What about you?”
Sunday nodded.
“Let’s motor.”
They both got up, reaching for their purses.

*****

Hailey went to work, after Russell kissed her goodbye.
He had a cup of some juice and something quick to eat then turned on his computer and read Sunday’s blog. He stopped reading it for a while, before starting again. He had almost deleted the link to it, but didn’t want to lose knowing what she did day-in and day-out. He also knew she wasn’t aware he still read it. She never really made any mention of him, which made him sulk, because he wanted to still be in her thoughts, but, whenever she did, he didn’t liked what she said about him. He ignored how he felt either way.
This entry was her writing a lengthy diatribe on some silly topic, such as people with weird haircuts. It made him laugh then a little sad that they didn’t talk anymore. He read more entries and a few hours passed. She talked about meeting other men and was somewhat seeing this boy named Gordon. He found himself jealous, but his reaction was a plaintive sigh. He didn’t cry but sat there for a while and felt bad.
Hesitantly, he found himself writing her a quick email. It was only a couple sentences, “hi. how are you?”

He sat there for a while, after reading it. He was on his computer, trying to distract himself while alone. Looking through his porn collection, he came across one that he had named oddly. Not sure what it was, he opened it. He thought he had gotten rid of everything that was associated with her, except for the blog link, but this turned out to be a clip Sunday had sent him. She didn’t do anything at first, before she shyly undressed and started touched herself.
He couldn’t help himself and closed his eyes for a few seconds to focus on her breathing and the way she sounded.
He opened his eyes and watched a few seconds, then slowly pulled down his pants.

The clip finished playing and he sat there, his hands covered in secretions. He felt guilty and somewhat ashamed of himself. Russell wanted to continue but got up and cleaned himself off.

He came back to his bedroom and closed out the video, although he was heavily tempted to watch it again.
Still affected, he added to the email and sent it, before he went to go play more Left4Dead.

*****

Sunday got home then went to her computer and saw Russell’s message. She read the whole thing and didn’t know how to react.
She printed off the email, then got up and went to the window and looked out.
She turned off the computer then left the apartment and walked to the studio.

It was quiet and she was the only one there, while Callie met with a potential client. Sunday taped the email against the wall then sat on a chair, looking at it for a while, reading aloud the words on the page.
After a while, she found herself close her eyes and say the words that she remembered.

She opened her eyes and saw an piece of empty canvas lying about when she took it and found herself writing the words she wanted to say back to him. It became longer and longer, until the whole back and front was covered with scrawled letters. She ran out of space, then quickly got up and left the studio, locking the door behind her.

While walking back from the studio, her phone rang and it was Gordon asking to meet up.

Sunday and Gordon went to see a movie, then back to her place and tore at each other’s clothes. Her body was satisfied, but her mind wasn’t. She thought of bills and bad jokes and a million other things.
She didn’t normally share the incredibly intimate details of her life, only things that amused her or what she knew would amuse other people, but suddenly felt the need to share what happened with her and Gordon, not knowing who would read it. Afterwards, she showed Gordon who didn’t mind and asked her to change one detail.

Sunday and Gordon sat on the couch, watching the Red Sox versus the Twins, and she took him by the hand back to bed. Gordon saw the camcorder by the computer and looked at it, then looked at her.
“I’ve got an idea.”
“What?”
He pointed at the camcorder.
“We should do the obvious.”
She looked in the direction of his finger and a smile came over her face.
“We could do that.”
She got up and went over to the camera, then turned it on. She moved it so the whole bed was visible and Gordon sat there looking at her.
She stood in front of him and started undressing.

*****

Russell was by himself, in the middle of the day, when he read her blog again.

He watched one of the clips, and saw Sunday completely undressed and Gordon sitting in front of her, his hands on her waist and his lips brushing against her side. His eyes completely enveloped in desire.

It got more graphic than that.

His face dropped and he found himself start crying. There were several clips there and he couldn’t finish the first one.

He got up and went to his bed and turned on his XBox360. Not getting very far, his eyes casually went back to the computer. He didn’t want to watch more, but put the controller down and stood in front of the monitor and forced himself to watch the first segment.

He saw Sunday get down on her knees and undo Gordon’s pants before pleasuring him with her tongue and mouth.

His face was starting to dampen again as he stood there. He closed out the window so he wouldn’t watch anymore. He moved back to his bed then sat down. He didn’t pick up the controller but found himself lie down and just stare at the window.

He lied there for a long time, sickened.

When Hailey came over that night, he looked at his girlfriend while she lied in bed and occupied with watching TV, when he turned off the computer, after downloading some movie, and went over to her. She barely had time to say anything, when he leaned over and started kissing her.

That whole time, he thought about Sunday. He was still thinking about her when Hailey and him lied there and he eventually fell asleep.

First Russell, then his girlfriend woke up the next morning. They started kissing, while they spooned. He pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arm around her front, then entered her from behind.
Amidst their whispers and moans, he softly sighed Sunday’s name.
Hailey opened her eyes and stopped, then took his arms off her and got up.
Russell looked at her and while she was searching for her shirt, she turned to him.
“You said her name.”
“Whose name?”
“You know.”
They were silent, while Russell lied there and Hailey rapidly got dressed.
Before she left the bedroom, she looked at Russell and asked, “You’re not over her, are you?”
Russell looked at her blankly and didn’t respond.
Hailey said,”I’m going to let myself out. I need to get home and change my clothes before work.”
Russell nodded, before she walked out.
He was there for a long time, frozen.

Russell and Hailey sat on his bed, talking, later that night.
“When we got together, you still wanted Sunday.”
“I know.”
“Do you still want her? I have to know.”
Pause.
She looked at him and he just sat there, staring at the wall. She took his face into her hands and kissed him.
“Look at me, Russ.”
He couldn’t look at her.
“I’m here. She’s not. Look at me.”
He shook his head.
“I love you, but she’s....,” he trailed off.
She slowly let go, then slowly got off the bed.
“This was a mistake coming here.”
A long pause.
“Tell me you want me to stay,” she added, standing there.
He remained silent, then looked at her.
“I love you.”
Pause.
“That isn’t good enough,” she said before turning around and walking out the door.
She shut the door behind herself, leaving him alone.
He thought he was going to start crying, but only let out a heavy sigh of relief before getting up and going to the computer.
He saw Sunday’s email and read it.
A smile suddenly brightened his face.
He returned her email with four paragraphs where he said nothing and everything was implied.
After quickly re-reading what he wrote, he sent it to her, then got up and went back to bed and turned on the XBox360.

*****

It was still dark when Sunday woke up and Gordon lying next to her, his arm around her waist. She looked at him and ran her hand through his hair and kissed his forehead, before getting up and out of bed.
She went over to the computer and turned it on.
A message from Russell was waiting for her, among other ones. She didn’t want to see it until she was alone.
Gordon was moving around, before he woke up and looked at her.
“Get off the computer and get back here.”
She saw him looking at her from the light of the computer, then smiled at him before getting up and crawling back into bed and climbing on top of him.
While they kissed, her computer signalled an instant message had been sent.
She ignored it.

Gordon left for work and she was finally alone.
She found out the instant message was from her good friend and he had figured she was busy and logged off.
She sent a reply back then closed out the message.
Seconds after she did that, she systematically went through her email, leaving Russell’s last.
She finally went to open it, but couldn’t get herself to read it and closed out the window.

Sunday and Callie were at Callie’s place with a couple of her friends and roommate there. They sat around playing boardgames while Craig sat on the couch playing Resistance2 on his PlayStation, when Sunday’s phone rang.
“Gordie.”
“Hi, Sunday. Are you doing anything right now?”
“I’m hanging out with Callie and her friends.”
Callie said, “Does he always call you late at night?”
Sunday looked at her and shook her head.
“Okay. Well, call me when you get home,” Gordon said.
“Will do. Bye for now.”
“Bye.”
They hung up.
“Tell me when I should take you home so you can have your booty call,” Callie said.
“It’s not a booty call.”
“Half an hour?”
“It’s not a booty call.”
“Whatever.”

Before they walked out, Callie said to Craig,”Craig, don’t--”
“Dude, I know. Do we have to go through this every time?”
“Fine, bitch. Be that way.”
“Are you in love with me or something?”
Everyone in the room went quiet, before Callie suddenly laughed uncomfortably then quickly moved and closed the door behind herself.
Sunday looked at her and Callie looked back at her.
“I don’t.”
“Okay, if you want to deny it.”
Callie didn’t say anything back.

After Sunday walked Callie around her apartment, Sunday offered her a drink, but Callie looked at her watch.
“I got to get going. See you in the morning.”
“You really want to be alone with Craig?”
They both laughed, before Callie went serious.
“I really got to go. Besides, you need to have your booty call.”
“Would you stop calling it a booty call?”
“Is Gordon your boyfriend?”
Sunday shakes her head.
“All right, then.”

Not long after, Callie left and Sunday sat there on the couch, before she dialed Gordon’s number and he picked up.

*****

Russell sat on his bed after coming home from work and took off his shoes, then went over to his computer and turned it on. He turned on his instant messenger and checked his email. There was nothing beyond junk mail and messages from a couple friends.

He moved away from the monitor and started changing his clothes.

He kept looking at the monitor but finished changing then sat on his bed and turned on the XBox360, falling asleep while playing it.

He woke up the next day and got up and out of bed.

Russell was about to pass the monitor and noticed that no one has still sent any messages, before he stood in front of his computer and decided to send Sunday another message, even though she hadn’t answered the last one.

He typed half the message, but looked at it and deleted the whole thing, before walking away.

He showered, changed his clothes and had a quick breakfast, then brushed his teeth and had already walked out the door when Sunday returned his message.

Russell sat in his cubicle and checked his phone, even though no one called him. He went through the people in his phone and hesitantly removed Hailey’s number, because she would have called by then, but it was obvious she wouldn’t be calling him anymore. He also knew it had been over for some time and could no longer deny it.
He silently exhaled and was about to put his phone back in his pocket, but searched through-out for Sunday’s number, although he removed it a long time ago.

He wanted to hear her voice again.

*****

Sunday was still asleep, when her cell started ringing.
Gordon was already standing up and buttoning his shirt, when he got her cell phone and saw the text from Callie.
He read outloud, “Did the booty call leave for work already?”
Pause.
“Who’s a booty call?”
Pause.
Sunday woke up and saw Gordon near the bed, looking at her.
“What’s wrong?”
He asked, “Am I a booty call?”
She didn’t answer when he handed the phone to her and she looked at it.
He finally turned away, silently got dressed and let himself out, not saying a word to her.
She heard the front door slammed.
She shrugged it off, slowly got out of bed, undressed and went into the shower.

When she was having a cup of coffee, her cell rang again.
“Hey, Callie.”
“Hey. I’m sitting in the car right now. Ready?”
“Yeah. Did you see anyone looking pissed off while they were going to their car?”
“No. I just got here.”
“Okay.”

Callie took Sunday home after taking her to one of her friend’s art gallery openings where they drank wine and Callie made fun of her friend who wore a rented blue ruffled tuxedo all night. She almost burned a hole in the tux with her cigarette.

Sunday came home and turned on her computer. She walked away to get a cup of water and drinking when an instant message came on the screen.
She faced away from the computer, when she was about to reach for her cell phone when she set her glass down, but turned back and moved over to the computer, thinking it was Gordon.
It wasn’t and she stood staring at the message.
They haven’t talked in ages and it surprised her Russell wanted to talk.
The words “hi. how are you?” were on screen.
She typed back, “I’m all right. How are you?”
There was a pause.
“ok” was the response.
She paused then typed, “What do you want?”
“is it a crime 2 want 2 talk 2 u?”
“If you want to talk, call me.”
“i need your number”
She typed it and quickly told him “Bye”, then turned away from the computer and started to walk off, going back to the kitchen.
Her cell started ringing.
Sunday looked at her phone, at the number, then answered.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.”
A smile came over her face.

They talked for a really long time, before he asked, “Can I see you?”
“Do you want to come over now?”
“Uh...All right. It might take me a while, though.”

Sunday and Russell stood in front of each other, when he finally arrived.
“Come in.”
He walked in after her, looking around.
“Do you like it here?”
“I do. Want anything to drink?”
“No. I’m good.”
She closed the door behind him and he moved over to the couch.
He sat down and she moved to the couch, before sitting down near him.
Slowly, they moved against each other and he put his arm around her, kissing her cheek and gently twirling some of her hair in his hand.

They stayed like that for a while.

Story Twelve

I woke, sitting in the bathtub and staring at my wrists, in disbelief that I did it wrong again. No big gushes as I hoped, only surface wounds that would heal, like they always do. I was tired and just wanted to sleep forever, but I slowly slipped out of the tub and walked to the bedroom. I had set a whole outfit of his clothes on the bed on the side he slept after I got the phone call. Someone had rear-ended him and when he left the car to check the damage another person hydroplaned and ran right into him. As soon as my boss heard I was given two weeks paid leave as long as I was able to fax or email all my work.

The first few days the only time I left the bed were when people came over and had cooked for me. People don't seem to understand food is the last thing people grieving want but after a few obligatory bites I would find an excuse to make them leave, then throw out the food and pile the dish in the sink before returning to bed.

The next few days, I threw myself into work items and filled out forms which I sent back through the USPS. The days felt long because the projects took three hours at most.

I sat passively watching TV one day and this one woman was talking about how she feared for her daughter because the twenty-something cut herself.
My attention turned to my wrist and slowly traced a vein until my finger lay inside my arm. I looked at the coffee table and the only sharp object was the fingernail clippers which aren't very sharp so I got up and walked around, into the kitchen. I stood there, listless and looked around. The kitchen knives sat in one corner not being used. I silently walked over to them and picked one out. I slowly slid the metal across my wrist, feeling the cold steel against my skin.

I couldn't do it and put the knife back, before walking back to the couch and sitting down.

A day later, I found myself standing there and the knife again in my hand. I closed my eyes and inhaled, before slowly digging the knife into my wrist. A small sting resulted from making contact, which made me bite my lip and wince.

A second later the pain was gone and I lifted the knife. A small trickle of blood was in its place.

I stood there and just watched it drip, until it stopped and gelled.

Fast forward to now, after a few more tries, I lied down on top of his clothes, curled into a fetal position, wrapping the arms of his shirt around me. I had a few days left before I had to return to work and back to reality. I also had run out of coffee, which was the only thing I've been allowing to pass my lips, so I had to go to the store.

I walked into the nearby VONS to grab another can of coffee, and stood in the aisle, before reaching for the canister. My hand grabbed it, but before I could, another hand reached for it and my hand on top of theirs.

We both turned and looked at each other. Someone equally miserable was staring back, but I wasn't looking into a mirror.

Before we could say anything he started crying and I looked and his hand on the can wore a wedding band.

We stood there, unmoving for a long time. We were the only people in the aisle, and I found myself open my mouth and say the words, "We should both kill ourselves."

He stopped crying suddenly and nodded.

"I haven't been able to do it myself, so I want someone else to do it," I continued.

He wiped his face, before finally saying, "I own a gun. Is that what you want?"

There was a long exhale, before I said, "Yes."

We met a few hours later. Branches shaded and secluded us at all points. He had came to this place before. His wife left him for their son's teacher and his first reaction was to leave the house and walk aimlessly around the neighborhood.

We aimed the two Smith and Wessons. He told me one belonged to his wife, his former wife as she had recently gotten remarried to the teacher, but that was one of the things she left behind. Our hands shook but we stood our ground.

"Ready?", he said.

I slightly hesitated, then said, "Yes."

We both fired.

Silence followed by black.

Story Eleven

He exhaled, took a sip of his ale, before saying,"Why is it that whenever you become comfortable with being alone, someone comes along to mess that up?"
I couldn't answer that and let him talk non-stop in several directions of thought.
They hadn't been talking at this point when he randomly mentioned her, wondering aloud if she was seeing anyone.
I quickly mumbled, "Well, I still talk to her. I could ask for you."
He didn't seem surprised at this, not giving me the satisfaction of at least pretending that I knew something he didn't.
In actuality, I hadn't talked to her in some time and was curious myself since we had hooked up that one time and have been itching to try it again. It was up to me to find her even though he had no idea I wanted to also see her for my own selfish reasons.

I did seek her out a few days later and expected silence, when we met up.
We hugged hello but, not long after, she seemed more skeptical than anything and answered with long breathy pauses punctuating each word.
After a while, she just stopped, looked at me point blank and asked, "What do you actually want from me?"
The conversation had been played in my head several times and I had every word that attempted to make its way out of my mouth rehearsed beforehand, but what were fully formed thoughts came out in monosyllabic half-sentences.
I wanted to talk to her about so many things, but only brought up the person we had in common.
Again, the reaction I expected didn't happen. A slight smile came over her face before she tried to hide it and then asked about him, when I wanted swear words and her face to pucker.
While we talked, I knew they would end up back together, which made me bite my tongue.

A few weeks passed and I had easily convinced her to go to the bar, since she didn't really go anywhere and I had guilted her into spending time with me. I knew he would be there. If he wasn't home in front of the tv wearing a t-shirt and sweats, or at work, this is where he was always found. As always, he sat in the corner, with a beer, staring at the table, his hands folded in front of him.
We walked in and he looked at me, then her, then back at me again, somewhat confused.
We sat down and he immediately sat back and crossed his arms, not really looking at either of us.

We sat there a while, but after she and I were mainly talking, and he was mostly quiet and looking uncomfortable, everyone was finally loosened up after a few rounds when he suggested they shoot some pool.

We forgot that she always made us look pathetic when it came to pool, so after him and I took unsuccessful turns, she chalked her cue and bent over the table and quickly shot the striped fifteen into the corner pocket. I was standing behind her, when I spied him looking at her. A look of momentary desire shined in his eye before he quickly tapped his stick against the ground when she moved around to quickly sink another ball.

He picked up his drink and found himself staring at the bottom of his mug, when he turned to me and said, "I think it's your turn, chief."
"Morgan, another drink?", I asked.
She handed me her glass, before aiming her stick and sinking another ball into another pocket.
I went and got the next round.

While waiting for the bartender to refill our glasses, I leaned against the bar and watched them.
He slowly moved closer to her as she was aiming to sink yet another ball and I saw him gently touch her arm.
She stopped and slowly turned to him.
They were looking at each other for a long time, not moving, before I saw his lips move.
A smile slowly spread over her face before she turned back and shot the ball into the side pocket, before fully turning back.
He slowly moved closer to her and I saw him slowly brush a strand of hair from across her forehead.
That did me in. I stood there and my heart sank.
They didn't kiss, but just turned to the pool table and talked.
I stood there and watched, until the bartender finished refilling our drinks and handed them back, then walked back over to them.
I wasn't there long when I made some quick excuse about dog sitting and they both wished me a good night before all the words left my mouth.

I walked home and, with each step, I knew he was going home with her or her going home with him that night.

I didn't sleep at all that night and lied on the couch, watching old sitcoms on TVLand.

It was about 6am and already time to get up for work, when my cell started ringing next to me and I looked at who called. It was him. I let the voicemail get it.

I didn't want to hear what he said, but while waiting at the trolley, I listened to what he said, in case it was important. They did go home together, but were up all night talking and they got back together and he was thanking me. This was all said with him on the verge of tears. I deleted the voicemail and wanted to punch him in the face.

A few nights later, she called me and invited me out to have coffee and talk. I was surprised since she rarely ventures outside of work or her apartment, unless it's my suggestion. Also, I figured she and him were making up for all the sex they didn't have with each other, and didn't have time for me anymore.

We sat outside and she wore this scruffy red sweater that she hand knitted herself. It was night and there were other people around her.
I was eager to tell her, but then she said,"Jasper proposed to me last night and I said yes."
My mouth dropped open for a second, then, "But, you two just got back together."
"Oh. I know. But, who are we kidding?"
I wanted to say, "Yourselves," but nodded, then set my coffee down and surprised the both of us when I suddenly stood up and then leaned over and kissed her on the mouth.
She didn't return it and patiently waited until I broke away.
She was staring at me when I sat back down.
"I love you."
She went really quiet and looked at her coffee, then back at me.
Neither one of us said anything for a really long time and awkwardly finished our coffees in silence.
After I took the final sip, I got up and tossed out the paper cup when I looked at her.
She was eyeing her watch, looking extremely bored.
I bit my lip and wanted to say something, but decided not to, before turning away and walking off.
She didn't stop me.

I sat in the car for a while, staring at the sky. My cell started vibrating and I looked at it. It was Jasper.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Where are you? I'm standing outside your apartment."
"I just had coffee with Morgan. I'm in my car right now."
"She told you already, didn't she?"
"Yeah."
"Damn. I wanted to tell you before she did."
"Too late."
"Yeah, well, how are you taking it?"
"Taking it?"
"Well, yeah, I know you liked her, too."
A long pause, before I sighed and said, "Was I that transparent?"
"Yeah, you were. Plus, she told me you two slept together this one time, which I wasn't too happy about when I found out, but that happened a long time ago."
Another pause.
"I did a bad thing. I told her."
"Told her what?"
"That I loved her."
"You what?"
"I said--"
"I know what I heard, you son of a bitch! I can't marry a woman my best friend is also in love with!"
For the next five minutes, he just shouted random expletives into the phone, before saying, "I'm going to kill you when you get home, you fucking jackass!" and hung up right after he said that.
I started the car and drove home, expecting to get my ass kicked.

He was standing in the hallway, leaning against the door, when I walked up to him.
He had his arms crossed but he didn't look angry. He actually had this odd smirk across his face.
I went to unlock the door when he stopped me and we looked at each other.
"How did she respond?"
"Silence. Complete silence."
He nodded.
I unlocked the door and we walked in.
I had my back to him when he patted my shoulder, then said, "You're going to be okay."
I stopped and exhaled.
"I hope so."

I thought they would get married and have her turn into some sort of baby machine, but they broke up for good eight months later. They realised they made better friends than a couple of old married folks.

The three of us hung out quite a bit, before and after, and I don't know how I ended up alone with her one night. I have no idea why she had convinced us to watch this really sappy film. I'm not even going to admit the movie, otherwise my manhood would be questioned. It was towards the first third when he got up and went to his bedroom to go play video games, because the film bored him. Towards the end, she must have been immune while I started crying. She looked over at me and then moved closer and then just started patting my shoulder.
"This doesn't leave the room," I said.
"Just as long as I can call you a pussy anytime I want."
"Only if we're the only two people in the room."
"Okay, deal."
I looked at her and then leaned over and was about to kiss her cheek, to thank her, when she was about to say something else when she moved and was facing me.
It wasn't intentional as my lips landed on hers.
Both of us started with eyes wide open, looking at each other, but slowly our eyes closed.
It continued for a while, but didn't go any farther.

After the movie was over, she was leaning on me and we talked for a while, before we got up and I walked her to her car and hugged her, before she got in and left.

I stood outside the apartment for a while and a smile slowly came over my face, but I decided to try again.

I finally had my chance one day, but as I was about to walk up to her, this blonde guy came out of nowhere and ran headfirst into her.

She disappeared from our lives again after that.

Jasper and I were sitting in the bar one night, drinking, when he said,"I have nothing awful to say about what happened, and it didn't end badly. It just ended. I do wonder what has happened to her. Do you still talk with her?"
I shook my head.
We both went quiet than started talking about some tv show we had both watched the other night.

Story Ten

There was an ambient buzzing coming from the other side of the wall. It had been happening for about a month now, and would greet Linus every time he walked back into the office. He ignored it as much as possible and oftentimes would tune it out.

While sitting there one day, he had his back to it, working on his computer, when the noise momentarily stopped, then returned. He paused before saving the file, then went outside. Before he investigated, he stood there and lit a cigarette.

On the other side of the wall, a little concrete pathway and small bushes were present. Nothing stood out. The hum wasn’t present as he looked around. There were other buildings nearby while he stood there.

He was never inside the building across the way and had assumed there were more offices. He dropped the cigarette and put it out with his heel.

He was passing the building after work and his curiosity got the better of him. He assumed there were more offices inside the building, so he had a few minutes and walked over, then quickly tucked his head in the door and scanned inside.

He walked over to one room near the entrance where he could see a bunch of people, standing around, but he couldn’t understand anything they were saying because everybody was talking over one another. While he stood there, one of the guys looked at him and came over.

“Welcome. Are you here for the meeting?”

“Meeting?”

Linus looked at him, then around the room. There were about twenty men in various levels of casualness. He stopped when he saw one woman amid this group. She gave him a ‘What?’ look before he turned away.

He was about to ask the guy a question, when the man announced to the room, “Hello, everyone. Glad we could all make it to the weekly AA meeting...” he paused, then looked around. “Where’s Jim?”

Someone in the room said, “Jim had to pick up his daughter from school or something. He couldn’t make it.”

The guy shook his head. “That’s not good. His sponsor is not going to like that...“, he said, then momentarily inhaled, before continuing,”Okay, Everyone. I’d like to announce the arrival of--” he interrupted himself and turned to Linus then asked his name.

“Linus Winter.”

“Linus? As in the Peanuts character?”

He nodded.

The guy shrugged, then said, “Our newest member, Linus.”

“Oh. But...I’m sorry. I thought this was for something else. I’m not a recovering anything.”

The guy motioned that was okay, then Linus left and walked as quickly to the car as possible.

A couple days later, he was having lunch and walking around, when his lighter ran out of fluid and he had to make a stop at the local deli market. Inside the store, he was taking a Coke out of the refrigerated area when he looked around and saw both the cashier and the person standing behind the deli looking incredibly bored, and some other person reaching for a bag of chips, before slowly pulling out the drink, then went up to the cashier and paid for both items.

Linus arrived home and found himself look around the apartment. They hadn’t moved in together, but the few things she left behind were mostly gone. He was the only one there and quietly made himself dinner, before lying on the couch and passing out while watching TV.

A week passed and he sat in the office and was working on a project when he looked out the window. He wasn’t expecting to see his ex about to walk by outside and that she was occupied on her cell. She hadn’t been in his office, but he knows she’s in the area a lot. He quickly saved what he was working on, then went outside.

She was still walking down the sidewalk, having a conversation, when he spotted her, even though there weren’t that many people around. She was wearing an ill-fitting knee length red dress and flats. He wanted to talk to her and followed her part of the way.

She stopped and closed her cell, before she put it away in her purse, before walking on.

Before he realized he did, he called out, “April!”

She stopped in her tracks and then slowly turned around.

He caught up to her and they awkwardly stood there for about a minute.

“How are you?”

“Okay. How are you?”

He said, “All right.”

They were both looking at each other, when he added, “Can I talk with you alone?”

She looked around, then said, “Okay. But, where?”

He started walking and then she looked at him slightly askew, before she followed him. They ended up going behind the fence where bushes and trees hid them from people walking by.

He was looking at her and touched her mouth, before he moved in and kissed her. He brought her closer to him and she felt distant to him. He slowly let go, then dropped down on his knees and gently pulled her underwear down.

After she came, he stood up and was about to unzip his pants, when she pulled her underwear back up and shook her head.

She calmly said, “We can’t keep doing this. I don’t love you anymore. I’m sorta seeing someone.”

Linus looked at her and quietly nodded.

“I’ll walk you back to work.”

They silently walked back, and stopped in front of his work, when he was about to kiss her on the lips. She turned her head and offered her cheek.

He stood outside and watched her walk off, while he lit a cigarette. While he was standing there, he looked at the building across the way and saw someone in the window, looking at him. The guy shrugged then moved away from the window. Linus scratched his head then went inside.

Linus went home that night and cried himself to sleep.

Progressively through-out the week, he slept less and less, until he was barely able to keep them closed for four straight hours.

One night, he couldn’t sleep and remembered he had pictures of her on his computer. It felt nice, but it wasn’t the same as touching her. He printed one with her breasts exposed and took it to bed. At first, it was beside him, and he was gingerly touching it, but then he picked it up and started rubbing it against his body. Before he knew it, he was overcome with desire and found himself lying on the picture, slightly rubbing up against it, imagining, or at least trying to, her naked body under his. He had my face buried in the pillow and continued for a little while before he fell asleep without orgasming.

In the morning, he was disgusted with himself and put the wrinkled picture under the other pillow.

Linus was sitting in the office, when his co-worker walked in to hand something to him and saw him staring at his cell phone, with an odd look over his face.
She looked concerned as it was obvious he had something on his mind.
“I know it’s not my business, but you look really worried about something. Is everything okay?”
Linus found himself say, “No,” because he trusted her enough to know she wouldn’t blab to the others and told her what was going on.
She shook her head, slightly smirking, when she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and handed it to him.
The voicemail came on and he chickened out.
He gave it back and told her to make up an excuse, which she did then hung up.
He wanted to talk to her, but things were so complicated that he couldn’t just call her. What would she say? He was afraid and didn’t know what to do.
Before his co-worker walked out, she wished him luck.

He went home that night, but she still was ever present in his thoughts. Ever since they met, he’s really liked her. She has no idea to what degree. They had periods where they didn’t talk because he was too busy with work and/or school, but she was always on his mind. It bothered him that he couldn’t explain nor deny why he felt this way. He knew she slept with other men and just couldn’t deal with that. It was a nail in the coffin when he found out some guy that comes around work had paid her to blow him.

A little time passed and Linus was almost able to put her out of his mind, but then he was walking to the office one day and they crossed paths again. Linus knew she saw him, but she was purposely avoiding looking at him.
And, when they ran into each other again, she saw him and purposely moved around him. He wishes he had the courage to grab her arm and stop her, then tell her how he felt. She looked better than the last time he saw her, wearing dark pants and a loose-fitting top. He was hoping she would say something, but she looked like she wanted nothing to do with him. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had a new boyfriend now.

He never stopped thinking about her. What he would give to see her again.

A few nights later, he drove by where she lived and saw her by the window, looking at something he couldn’t see. Linus wanted to park the car and watch her, but kept driving, afraid she would look outside and see his car.
Instead, he parked it around the corner and sat in the car, having a cigarette and thinking about what he could be doing to her, before he had to stop himself from bursting into tears at the thought he would never have her again.

Months passed and he actually tried dating someone else, but that didn’t work as they were in bed and he accidentally called out April’s name. The girl wasn’t happy about it and kneed him in the balls before leaving.

Some more time passed and he was sitting there, when he looked at his laptop. His instant messenger was open and he sent her an IM, saying, “Hello.”
The reply appeared a few minutes later and it said, “hi”.
He sat there for a while, just staring at the screen, thinking someone was playing a joke.
A few seconds later appeared, “Are you there?”
He didn’t know what to say at first, but still responded back, “yes. i’m here”.

They ended up talking for a long time.
He found out she had been with someone for a short while, but it didn’t work out, and that, she had actually been thinking about him since they saw each other that last time.
He knew they wanted to see each other, although he knew she wasn’t going to admit it.
It took a while but he finally asked if she wanted to come over, but she said she didn’t want to go back to his place just yet.

A few days later, they sat in facing chairs, in some coffee shop.
April’s finger kept tapping the lid of the plastic lid, while he was meandering in his words.
“I’m glad you showed up. I didn’t think you would.”
She nodded, then looked out the window and noticed the sunlight glinting off the sidewalk mailbox.
A strand of hair fell across her forehead.
A hand caught her by surprise and she turned back to him.
He was incredibly close.
They looked at each other, different emotions playing off their faces.
She put her hand over his, then said,” I don’t know....”
He looked mildly confused.
“Do you regret meeting me here?”
She let go of his hand and shook her head.
“No, it’s just...,” she trailed off, then looked outside again.
People were walking by, and they continued to sit there with the silence comforting them.
When she turned back, he was drinking his coffee, still watching her.
She picked her drink up and started sipping, the sweetness slowly making its way down her throat.
He put his drink down and wiped his mouth with a finger. He looked at his watch, then said, “I have to go back to work.”

Before Linus walked out the door, he asked if he could call her.
She looked at him, paused, then said,”Yes.”

A few days passed when he did.
“What are you doing?”
“About to head home. I’m sitting in the car, running around and doing errands. Why?”
“I want to see you.”
April awkwardly paused, then said, “Okay. Where do you want to meet up?”
He mumbled something.
She asked him what he said.
He asked if she wanted to meet him at his place.
She slowly warmed to the idea and said, “Yes.”

They were alone at his place again, sitting near each other.
The look on his face was anticipation and he kept looking at her mouth.
She was in the middle of telling him some story and he politely smiled and nodded, but she could tell his focus wasn’t on that.
He wasn’t going to make a move, although he did touch her gently at one point, but that was the extent of it.
April awkwardly paused when she realized he wanted her to do something, but felt she should make him wait and, for the next half hour, she did.
She could almost hear his thoughts agonize over wanting to rip off her clothes and touch every inch of exposed body, until she finally grabbed him and started kissing him.

They were lying in bed and he was looking at her.
He couldn’t tell what she was thinking, when she looked at him and got out of bed.
He didn’t say anything as she silently dressed and walked out the door.

He had not moved off the bed, and an hour had barely passed when he finally got over the shock of her leaving, when he called her.
“Are you okay? You left in a hurry,” he said.
“I’m all right. It’s nothing.”
He didn’t sound certain when he mumbled out, “Okay,” then paused for a long time before choking out, “But, you’re not exactly the easiest person to talk to. You never say what’s on your mind.”
She listened to everything he had been holding inside then hesitantly agreed to see him again.

April arrived at his doorstep and he opened the door.
She walked in and he closed the door behind her.
They were looking at each other, when she sat down and watching him, as he started taking off his clothes, before he came over and went down on his knees in front of her.

They were lying in bed and looking at each other.
“I can’t keep doing this,” she said, then was about to slowly get out of bed.
He grabbed her arm, then said, “Don’t go.”
She turned to him and he put his arms around, pulling her back.
They started kissing and then she pulled him on top.

They were sitting on the couch, eating dinner, when he turned and kissed her cheek. Everything he’s ever wanted was right next to him, but he wasn’t sure if he was what she wanted.
For now, Linus was happy that she was there with him.

the closest thing to a poem I've written recently

Actually, I have no idea when this was written as I literally just found this on my computer while looking at various files.

But, isn't this the sweetest thing you've ever read?

(Okay, and, obvious why I don't write poems all that much anymore.)


The number in your hand is sixteen.
You look at it for a while then close your palm.
There are several people around you, some in seats and some standing.
You may be present there, but your mind is elsewhere.
It's still at home.

It's thinking about the striped sheets and you in my pajama top.
It's thinking about my hand on your leg.
It's thinking about our mouths kissing various parts of each other.
It's thinking about us.
It's just thinking....

Since you left this morning,
I've sat here and drank coffee.
And, warmed to the thought of you.

Story Nine

I originally wanted to write something for someone special at the time, and was going to continue, before it was abandoned. But, after recently re-discovering it on the computer, I wanted to see what would come out. And, this is the end result.

***********************

Part One

Matthew and Vanessa sat, watching the short clip playing on the computer screen.
He turned to her and she sat there, blushing and covering her eyes.
She joked, “Is it over yet?”, then looked at him.
He shook his head then blurted out, “I want that.”
She didn’t let on what she was thinking.

A few days later, Vanessa sat on the couch, reading a book of E.E.Cummings’s poetry.
Matthew came in and kneeled in front of her.
She didn’t look at him when he started undoing her pants.
A smile came over her face before she finally turned to him.
He pulled down her pants, then she helped him take off her underwear.
She was about to set the book down but he motioned for her to keep reading.
A momentary look of question flitted across her face, with an arched eyebrow making an appearance, before she gently nodded then went back to reading.

It was hard to focus, and she had to take her hand from off his head to turn each page.

He kept going until the book dropped from her hand and after closing her eyes for a few seconds, she looked at him.
He had a sweet look on his face and asked, “Did you like that?
She nodded.
“Do you want me to please you?”
She didn’t say anything but ran her hand through his hair and then grabbed his head and bent down to kiss him.

That night, Matthew started kissing every exposed part of her skin, while he watched her gently exhaling with her eyes closed.
One hand went under the covers and slowly slid his hand down the front of her nightgown, and then slowly pulled it up, until his hand was on top of her underwear. His hand went inside the silk and made contact with bare skin.
While he gently touched her, he continued kissing her.

She slowly woke up and returned his kiss.
At first she was mildly annoyed, but gave in to the way her body felt.
He stopped kissing her when he felt her eyelashes brush against his eyelids, then asked, “Are you mad? Do you want to punish me?”
She grabbed his head before kissing him passionately. Her free hand moved down to his and blocked it from leaving.

After she came several times, she moved his hand away and quickly regained her breath before kissing him and pushing him onto his back and getting on his lap. She grabbed his hands and held them above his head.
She expected him to resist, as she had his wrists pinned against the headboard, but only eagerness came over his face.

Matthew woke up the next day, and Vanessa sat on the couch waiting for him. She wore her silk lavender slip and one of the straps fell off her shoulder.
He sat down near her and was about to say something but she put a finger to his mouth, then got onto his lap facing him.
She pretended to kiss him and he leaned in to return it, and did that seesaw for a few seconds. Before he could kiss her, she stopped him, got off his lap and then took him by the hand back to bed.
On the bed, she lied him down then sat on his lap.
He was starting to become aroused and she didn’t help as she started to rub against him.
After a few minutes, he started whining about being turned on.
She stopped and she could feel his body still completely responsive.
She paused for a long time and they looked at each other before she bent down and kissed him.

Matthew was at work when he opened his suitcase and on top of it was a folded sheet of white paper. He opened it and started reading.


Scene 1

This is how it will start. And, you’ve had all the time you needed to prepare for this.

After getting completely naked, you can sit down and wait for me until I enter the room. You will stand up when I will walk in wearing heels and a knee length dress. My hair is down and there will be a silk scarf around my neck, which I undo and have in my hands. When you see me, you will silently wait for me to say something, but I won’t. We won’t say a word to each other as I come over and blindfold you, then gently guide you to the bed where I sit you down.

I will leave the room and get a couple objects, and come back into the room, where you still sit quietly, not knowing what I will do. From your posture, you seem relaxed, but a bit eager.
I sit next to you and start touching you. You’re not allowed to reciprocate any of my touches as I explore your body with my hands and mouth. While I run my tongue down, around your belly, I grab an ice cube out of the bowl and gently run it over your chest.
Your hand is about to wipe away a drop that is making its way to your shoulder and I slap your hand away, as it drips off.
I make my way down until your member is in-between my lips. I take as much of you into my mouth, before looking at you. You’re breathing heavily and I can feel your body responding to me, as I guide the ice cube down. I withdraw you from my lips and slide the melting cube where my lips were.
Until the ice cube is completely melted and only water remains, I circle it around you, and investigate your hair with it.

I stand up and slowly remove my clothes, and take one of your hands and tell you to touch me. I guide your hands over my shoulders, over my breasts, over my belly, until it is touching me between my thighs. I lean close and you can feel my breath tickling your neck, before my mouth connects with yours.
I guide your hand away from between my legs and I hold your hands together as I bind them with cuffs, so they are over your head and leaning off the bed.
I move around so my thighs now are on both sides of your head, and your mouth can lightly graze me. My knees are on top of your shoulders. I lean into you, gripping your head and bring your mouth into me.
I keep going until I find my whole body shaking.

After I finish, I slowly get off you and then grab a condom and put it on you, before looking at you. Your body is aware of me, and I pause. I look at you and you seem eager for me to get on top of you, and ride you until you can’t stand it any longer.
I do get on top of you and undo the handcuffs, dropping them on the floor.
Both of us are saying things and gasping, as we change positions, from you on your back to me on mine.
You’re leaning down to me, and I can tell you want a kiss. I let you kiss me before I groan for you to fuck me harder. You don’t do it and want to kiss me again, which makes you close enough that I slap you across the face. You say nothing back to me, then do what I tell you.

We both end up orgasming almost the same time.

You hold me for awhile, before I get up and get the contraption, which you try to resist my putting on you at first, but allow me, after I push you onto your back and sit on your face while I put it on you then admire it.
I then get up and lie there next to you, and we start kissing, then I whisper in your ear, “You have no idea what I will do next.”
And, you wait.


Matthew sat there and looked at the clock. He had only been at work ten minutes, but was ready to go home.

When he got home, Vanessa walked into the room wearing a dress but no scarf. She took the briefcase out of his hand and walked out of the room with it. While she put it away, he silently undressed.
She walked back into the room, with a scarf around her neck, gingerly carrying an object that was shiny and clear acrylic, before she set it down on the coffee table in front of him.
“If you’re a bad boy tonight, I will be putting this on you.”
“And, if I’m a good boy.”
“I will have both my hands closed and one hand will have the key, and if you don’t pick the hand with the key, you’ll be free, until you get home tomorrow to choose again.”
She stood in front of him and undid the scarf from around her neck, before blindfolding him.

They were lying in bed and he was leaning on her, looking at her.
She looked at him and then smiled and told him to close his eyes, before turning to the bedside drawer and reaching inside before turning to him and holding both her fists up.
He opened his eyes and looked at her then both of her hands, before picking her left hand.
She slowly opened her palm.
He picked the wrong hand.
She got out of bed and went to get the device, then came back and quickly fitted it on him.
He had his hand over hers when she locked it.
She kissed him on the cheek before she turned out the light.
Neither one of them could sleep that night and she rubbed her hand against it several times, while the dark still surrounded them.

Part Two

The light was streaming through the window and both of them were lying there. She was staring at the wall across from them, and he was staring at the ceiling.
“Did you get any sleep?”
He shook his head and said, “Too excited. Did you get any sleep?”
“Nope.”
“Well, I have to get ready for work.” He was about to get out of bed before he looked at her and said, “Wait.”
“What?”
“There’s just one more thing.”
She turned to him and before she could say anything, he raised the sheets and disappeared under them.

Before he left the door, she whispered into his ear,”When you get home, you have no idea what I will do to you.”

While Matthew was at work, Vanessa was sitting on the couch, brainstorming ideas for short stories.
She sat on the couch and couldn’t concentrate. After five attempts at filling five pages, she had one full page and two pages of crossed out words and passages.
She put the paper down and then sat back, then looked over towards the desk. The digital camera was sitting there when she got up and went over to where it waited.

She started undressing and then aimed the camera at herself.

After printing a few, she hid them around their place, where she knew he would find them.

Matthew came home and saw Vanessa was standing by the counter with a folded up sheet of paper. After he walked in the door, he set his briefcase on the couch.
“Do you have to go to the bathroom?”, she asked
“Not really.”
“Oh.”
He looked at her, then nodded, before walking over and quickly scanning the bathroom.
He didn’t see anything on first glance, but was looking around when he saw something slipped under his razor.
His eyes lit up, when he moved over and looked at what it was.
He gingerly set it back down, then walked back over to where she was still standing.
“Are there more pictures?”
She smiled and nodded.
“You’re a bad, bad girl. And, I fucking love you for that,” he said, before silently undressing.

He took off the last article of clothing and stood there, before she approached him.

She put her hands through his hair, then grabbed onto his hair and then pulled him down, so he was on his knees.
She let go and went to the desk and got the duct tape out of the drawer, then took the scissors and walked back over, before cutting off a good chunk, taking his hands behind his back and binding them together. She dropped everything on the floor, before sitting down.
He couldn’t see what she was doing, as she was behind him.
Vanessa put one of her ankles on his shoulder and then kicked him forward so he was leaning over. Then put both her feet up on him, using him as her stool.

She sat there for five minutes, before she took her feet off him and then moved in front of him. She stood him up, by grabbing him by the hair, until they were in the doorway to the bedroom. She leaned against the door frame before pushing him down, back onto his knees, then put one of her legs on his shoulder and forced his face between her legs.

After a couple times, she took her leg off his shoulder than dragged him on his knees, before standing him up and pushing him onto the bed.

An hour later, he was begging for her to undo the belt so he could orgasm.
She grabbed him by the hair and before he could say another word, she occupied his lips.

When Vanessa was finally satisfied, she rolled off him and then lied there, out of breath.
“I love you,” she said, before kissing his cheek, then looking at the clock on the wall and added. “Okay, hon. You need to get up early,” she said, before undoing his hands and kissing him again.
He gave a little whimper, but said nothing, then rolled over and quickly fell asleep with a smile over his face.

Part Three


Scene 2

Standing against the wall, you can’t see me, but you know I’m in the other room. Someone is with me and you can hear everything, from the moment he arrived to the moment you can hear the familiar gasp from my mouth. You can imagine everything that happens in-between, as our voices vocalize everything that is going on.
There is a pause before I tell him he has to go, which he does.

I walk into the room and drag you along with me, to take a shower.
After I turn on the water and let it warm up, I pull you in with me and start kissing you.

While we’re in there, I take the key from around my neck and undo the belt, setting it down on the bathtub edge, after I get down on my knees. I watch your reaction while I gently wash you down there, before standing up and leaning against the shower wall.
You stand there for a few seconds, before you start jerking off.
We’re watching each other, when I join in and start touching myself.

Both of us bring ourselves to that point, but, before you could, I quickly stop you and put the cage back on, even though you beg me not to.
After I do, I stand there and grab your hand to finish me off, which you do.

Afterwards, we shower than dry ourselves off and go to bed.


Matthew was sitting outside, eating lunch, reading what Vanessa slipped into his briefcase, when he sat back. He didn’t enjoy the idea of having to share his girlfriend, but he knew this would make her happy. He looked around and didn’t expect anybody to fit the type of guy that he could imagine giving her pleasure this one time, but then saw a guy sitting by himself, having a drink. He was medium build, a dirty blonde and dark eyed.
He must have been staring at him pretty hard because the guy must have seen him reflected back in the glass, before turning and giving the what’s up head nod.
Matthew didn’t react, as the guy quickly finished his drink before getting the bartender’s attention and ordering another drink before motioning something.
The guy stood up and then moved over to Matthew.
“Okay, dude. I’m not gay, but, I’m flattered that you won’t stop staring at me. I had to come over and ask what’s up.”
Matthew was a little nervous, but motioned for the guy to sit down, which the guy did.
“Can I ask you a favor?”
There was a pause.
“Sure.”
“Well, I have this friend that fantasizes about having his girlfriend pleased by another guy.”
“And, you want me to be this guy that pleases your--I mean, your friend--’s girlfriend.”
Matthew nodded.
There was a long pause which involved Matthew looking at him and the guy tapping his mouth, before extending his hand and saying his name was Charlie.

It was Saturday night when Matthew looked at the clock above the television and got up from the couch and left the room.
Vanessa was there when the doorbell rang.
Charlie was standing at the door.
“Hello?”
“Am I at the right place?”
She looked at him, nodding, and quickly looked in the direction where Matthew went, before letting Charlie inside and closing the door.
“Would you like something to drink?”
“A glass of water would be good.”
“Okay.”
She walked over and got a glass before filling it up with a few cubes of ice and water, then moved back over and handed it to him.
She sat down and they looked at each other.
“Are you nervous?”
He continued drinking and nodded.
Vanessa stroked his head while he drank.

Before he was halfway through the glass, she unzipped his jeans and stuck her hand inside the fly.

After he finished his drink, he set the glass down and wiped his mouth, before he leaned in and kissed her.

A few hours passed and he was again standing at the door.
She said, “I’ll call you. That was fun.”
He said, “All right. Then, I’l expect to hear from you, then.”
He turned away and walked off, before she closed the door.

Vanessa walked away from the door, then into the bedroom, where Matthew was standing against the wall.
She extended her hand to him before he went with her to the bathroom

While the water was warming up, she had her back to him and he saw a little of the other man’s semen on the back of her thigh.
“Do you think you’ll see him again?”
There was a short pause.
“I don’t know. He was all right.”
Vanessa turned to him and held her hand under the water, then added,”It’s warm now.”

Vanessa and Matthew were lying in bed, early in the morning, when she started kissing him.
She got on top and lightly straddled him, making them both aware of the belt, before she took both his hands off her waist and held them against the headboard.
“I’ve got an idea.”
“What is it?”
“Go get two condoms.”
She got off him and watched as he quickly got out of bed and got the two condoms out of the closet.
He was standing by the bed, when she took the key from around her neck and unlocked him, setting the belt by the bed, and bringing numbing lotion out of the drawer, applying it, then taking both condoms out of his hands and putting them on him, one after the other, before she pulled him down onto the bed, on top of her.

While they were in the bed, she told him she would be taking on an occasional lover, and that the only time she would have him would be in Matthew’s presence.
He responded by kissed her more roughly and became more passionate.

When she could feel the lotion wore off and he was starting to orgasm, which was quicker than she thought, because she hadn't reached hers just yet, she gave him a quick knee in the groin, which caused tears to well up in his eyes.
After he was done, he tenderly kissed her lips and then allowed her to strip off the condoms and then put the belt back on him.

Part Four

A month later, Vanessa sat on the couch, while Matthew sat on the floor, by her feet. For her own amusement, he was wearing a pair of lacey pink undies she got for him, while out shopping, although his uniform is usually that of complete nudity. Around his neck, she crocheted him a white choker from which hung an acrylic circle, which he wears all the time, and people at his work don’t seem to notice it. She has a leash attached to it, but the leash only comes on and off when they are alone. They’re both watching tv, when she starts tickling him with one of her feet, teasing him that the night before was the best she ever had in a long time.

The night before, Nate, someone she met at a bookstore, came over. He knew the drill, after coming over a few times. Unlike the first few times, where he wasn’t sure how to react to Matthew standing there, as soon as he walked in the door, he kissed Vanessa on the cheek, then dragged her to the bedroom where she undid his pants and dropped down on her knees.
Matthew watched, while standing against the wall, looking turned on but uncomfortable that he wasn’t part of the action.

That is, until Vanessa stopped Nate, before pulling Matthew into bed with them. She didn’t release him, but made him lie down under her. He protested and pleaded at first, before she told him he had no choice. She held his hands down with her own, throatily gloating she had him trapped, while Nate was behind her.
Nate looked at Matthew, and saw Matthew never took his eyes off Vanessa. He thought Matthew would shut his eyes and pretend this wasn’t happening, but instead stroked her cheek and continued looking at her as he did, begging her to undo the lock so he can pleasure her as much as the other man was doing, only to be told to shut up and smacked across the face. In turn, he didn’t expect his reaction would be of more excitement and to bring her to orgasm as many times as he could that night.

Vanessa pulled Matthew’s leash up and he turned to her, getting on his knees in front of her.
“It’s time for bed.”
She undid the leash, then got up and went to go brush her teeth.
He stood up and then went to their bed, where he stretched and then got under the sheets.

an abandoned novel

Hopefully one day, I will actually write a real novel, but I hit the usual sixty page snag and stopped. It's a start and I actually had planned for about ten chapters, then see the progress was before adding on more, but this one fizzled out, as they all do. It actually fizzled out some time last year, as this has just been sitting on the computer for a while now and I just came across it while trying to find some other file.

Perhaps, I could condense this and make a short story out of it.

****************************

Chapter One

We realized the horror of it, of kissing each other.
The beer and vodka was not an excuse, but it amplified the warm glow that surrounded us. The crowded bar full of strangers didn’t stop and constant motion swarmed. Conversations about sports and work and meandering gossip were on their tongues. Two people were flirting right behind us. One bartender told a rude joke to a regular who came in and was working on his fourth beer. The other had a smirk on his face while silently pouring a triple shot of vodka with one hand while shaking another drink in the other. It was past midnight and this where we usually came to relax.
Our heads were huddled together while gently discussing the fact of our unhappiness with the people we were with, but it didn’t occur to ourselves that unspoken lust fueled our ongoing weekly meetings.
There was a pause before he turned to me and tenderly touched my mouth, running a finger across my chin. I don’t remember what came out of my mouth, before we went quiet and just stared at one another. I ruffled his receding hairline back, then he tickled my shoulder. I giggled, then somehow it went from that to clumsily slipping each other the tongue.
It took us a few seconds to realize what we were doing wasn’t supposed to feel good, and a sudden wave of repulsion caused us to break away.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, as I quickly downed the rest of my vodka tonic.
I didn’t know how to react, so awkwardly patted his shoulder instead of our customary long hug, before dropping a twenty on the counter and leaving.
As the coolness of the air soothed my thoughts, I never thought he would kiss like that.
When I went home and changed, he was my last thought before I fell asleep, and it creeped me out.

A week passed when he called. We were still shaken up by the kiss and I could tell by his voice he wanted to make sure I was all right, before he asked if I wanted dinner that night to make up for it.
“Okay,” I hesitantly said.

Dinner was comfortable. It wasn’t an expensive meal, but comfort food at an all night diner. We sat across and watched each other eat, him with his cheeseburger and fries, me with New England clam chowder out of a sourdough bowl.
We sat and casually chatted.
I liked his wife and met her several times. She was a pretty blonde haired, green eyed girl, like I imagined he would be with. He didn’t like my boyfriend and made no attempt to be nice about it, even though they’ve met and are very pleasant to each other.
Both of us stayed completely sober that night, and purposely avoided any mention of the other night, but as we walked out, we crossed paths with a mutual friend of ours who lived nearby, who was just coming home from work, and went over to his place.
When we got there, we called our significant others and told them where we were. My boyfriend groggily said to say hello, while his wife told him not to drink too much and get home safely.
It was a long night, with others coming and going. I have no idea how this couple manages to get any sleep, when they know so many people who arrive at all hours of the day.
We stayed on the couch the whole time until someone spilled beer on my shirt.

This is where we met, those three years ago. The same place, the same couch, the same people. Except when we met, I was standing near him. He was sitting on the couch, and someone had set their guitar down by the armrest. Rather than get up and grab himself another drink, he picked up the guitar and just started playing.
I was fairly new in town and didn’t know that many people. Only our friend and his girlfriend, who wanted me to meet their friends. For some odd reason, I was having an impassioned argument about the pros and cons of some stupid topic, which I purposely like to forget. It doesn’t matter what it was, even though it was embarrassingly low-brow. But, I was still so angered that the next thing I knew I threw the bottle in disgust. Not at the person causing my foul mood, but at the poor guy sitting all alone on the couch, wearing a striped sweater and chain-wallet past him.
The sound of a scratched record echoed in my head, as the room went dead silent and everybody looked at him.
He bit his lip as one hand rubbed his shoulder. He mouthed “Ouch”, momentarily winced then went back to playing.
I snapped out of my shock and asked him.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, when he looked at me.
Everybody went back to their drinking and talking, when I moved near him, standing over him.
“I’m really sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up for it?”
“Um...,” he trailed off, stopping his strumming and looking around himself, then motioned to the can beside him and added, “I could go for another beer.”
I silently nodded then went off to the kitchen.
This was my favorite room in the house. It was the best place in town that fit twenty people, although on that particular night about twice that many squeezed in. As the night wore on, I found myself alone with the guy with people mysteriously going into in the kitchen for one reason or another, and ended up bonding over our sheer hatred of 70s Disco. He, also, played me a song his band was working on and it impressed me.

Fast forward to now. We sat quietly, switching between diet Cokes and experimental virgin smoothies that our friend kept throwing at us. Every so often, people who barely knew us thought we were a couple, despite our constant avoidance of any bit of touching. Many others came by and asked why our significant others slash partners slash lovers slash whatever weren’t present. We answered in shrugs. His wife didn’t enjoy most of the people present, while my boyfriend was always asleep by midnight. We were in love with homebodies who understood our urge to spend time exploring in the darkest hours. They trusted us together which we implicitly agreed to.

It was 4am when we said our good-byes and good nights to our hosts and others in various stages of drunkenness.
We were walking down the street and breezily started talking about another mutual friend who seemed to love showing off his naked self as much as possible. We were avoiding our true thoughts which made it more intense, despite our joking and laughing.
But, then he said, “I would like to go home with you.”
“You’re already walking me home.”
“You know what I mean.”
I did but just stared ahead.

We were at the bottom of the stairs when we went in for our hug. He sweetly pressed his lips on my forehead, but refused to let me go. The longest hug turned into a number of short pecks on the cheek turned into longer kisses. One hand was on my ass and another on my back, while both of mine were on his shoulders.
I was tempted to invite him inside for coffee, but snapped out of it, then quickly pushed him away and said a joyless good night before hurrying up the stairs and entering the building.
Before I closed the door, I looked at him. He had such a weird look in his eyes, before he started to walk off.

A month passed and we had small phone calls here and there, when I was sitting there, and picked up my phone and called him.
“Hello?”
“Oh, hey. How are you?”
“I’m good. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie tonight. The showing’s at midnight.”
“All right. The one we always go to?”
“Yeah.”
“All right. Meet you then.”

I don’t know what came over me, but usually I dress in pants and my favorite oversized green sweater, but I found myself put on the tightest black dress in my closet, usually reserved for special dinner dates with my boyfriend, and the highest heels. Usually I don’t care what I look like, but for some odd reason, it mattered that night.

We didn’t make it past the front doors of the movie theatre, because at dinner, I took off my coat and he instantly gulped and awkwardly said he wanted the check, even though we hadn’t ordered anything. While we sat down, he wouldn’t stop staring at me. I think the way I dressed made him nervous.
My best recourse was to go home and change.

He followed me inside, after I invited him in for coffee. I went into my bedroom and started to unzip the dress, when I saw him through the crack in the door, move over to the CDs and pick one out, then started playing it.
I stopped when I realized he started playing “The Murder Ballads”, which I forgot was in my possession. I turned away and had my dress fully unzipped, when I turned back to him.
The door was open and I saw him standing there. The expression on his face was neutral.
I turned away and slowly removed my dress, aware that he was still staring. I started to undo my bra, when he couldn’t take it anymore. I thought he was going to say something, before he came up to me and just grabbed my arm and led me to the bed. He kissed me while removing the rest of my clothes, then sat me down.
I watched him as he kissed his way downward.

An hour later and an uncomfortable orgasm on my part, he looked at me and stopped. He kissed his way down my thigh and licked my knee, before slowly standing up. He was very clearly aroused, but stood there scratching his head, looking a little confused.
“I need a glass of water, “ he said.
He walked out of the room, leaving me on the bed.

I got dressed and walked in on him. Some of his hair sparkled with drops. He was drinking water, and his back was to me, when I was near him.
I turned away from him to get a glass for myself. I heard him quickly zip up his pants, while I went to the fridge and poured myself some juice.
We stood there, drinking, when we looked at each other. While he was alone, he washed his face.
He quickly finished his water, then set the glass in the sink. For a few seconds, he didn’t move.
I continued drinking, then coldly received a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey. The band’s going on tour next week. Do you want to meet up before we head out of town?
I stopped drinking and said, “Okay.”
“Great.”
He gently touched my hair, then quickly moved away, mumbled something then went over to the door. He mumbled something else, before telling me he’d call and saying to get some sleep.

Three days passed before he called me. I sat in front of my laptop, staring at a blank screen, when I picked up without looking at who was on the other end.
He said,” Do you want to go have coffee?”
“Yeah, okay.”
I quickly packed up my laptop and threw on a hoodie.

We sat there and he told me they would be gone for eight months and to periodically check in to see if his wife was all right and a lot of things.
He went dead silent, before he looked me square in the eye and said he loved me.
I nearly choked on my coffee.
He laughed, but we both knew he was serious.

Before they boarded the plane, to get to the other coast, he called me. I couldn’t hear him above the other guys and the other sounds. All I heard was, “I’ll call you when we get back,” before the line went dead. I’m not even sure that’s what he said.

Three months passed and I was on my laptop again. It was around 7pm, when my phone rang.
“Hello?”
I was staring at the blinking cursor mid-sentence, when a woman’s voice piped up on the other side.
“Hey, Jessie. You know who this is?”
It didn’t come to me immediately.
She added, “It’s Mark’s wife.”
“Oh....OH! Hi, Gina.”
“Hey, I was thinking. I miss Mark and you’re one of his best friends. You and I have never gotten to spend real quality time together without him. You and I should go have dinner together.”
“Okay.”
‘I’m busy right now. Want to do it tomorrow night?”
“Okay. But, wait, what do you feel like eating?”
“I don’t know. I’m a cheap date. Let’s decide tomorrow night.”
“Okay.”
“All right. Talk to you tomorrow night.”

Twenty four hours passed and we met up for coffee.
She sat by the window, her back to the glass. She didn’t look like the type to wear a slinky red dress, because everytime I see her, she was always wearing very conservative clothing.
I had an eyebrow raised when I walked up to her.
She looked at herself.
“What’s wrong?”
“A bit overdressed, aren’t we?”
She did this adorable shrug, then said, “I felt like putting this on.”
It didn’t occur until then that she rarely went anywhere and didn’t know the meaning of dressing appropriately.

We were both slowly sipping our coffees when she point blank told me that Mark and her never go on dates anymore.
After ten years, they must still do things to keep them going.
All she said was, “I don’t know. I hope we’re doing something right.”
I hope so, too, otherwise they were doomed.

I took her home and was about to leave, when she invited me in, not wanting to be alone.
We spent part of the night talking. Until 1am, we sat on the couch, casually chatting about Mark, his band, and things we didn’t know about each other.
She casually let it drop that she thought when we first met, that she was convinced Mark and I were having an affair, but she knew now it wasn’t like that.
She trusted me whole-heartedly and I felt like a douchebag, considering I let her husband do things to me.
Before she went into their bedroom, she gave me a blanket and a pillow.

Her light went out and I slowly went to my laptop, and after turning all, but one, lamp off, I crossed my legs and started typing.
While I saved it, I went and checked my email. The typical Spam and inbox regulars. An email from Mark was there. I opened it and it was obviously sent quickly. It said,” Hey, Jess. Here in Los Angeles. Our opening band is awesome. Was thinking of you. Tell my wife I miss her, too. Mark”
It made me smile.

I was woken up to the smell of coffee. Gina was already dressed for work and standing near me. I looked at the clock on the wall and it said it was nearly 6am. I’m rarely awake at this time, because I’m falling asleep as the sun is coming up.
I slowly packed my stuff and after a couple cups of coffee, we left the front door. I went home and she went to her real job.
As soon as I got home, I lied down, but was close to falling asleep, when my open laptop started to chime with an IM.
I lifted my head and groggily looked at my computer.
I got up and sat down at the desk.
It was Mark, saying hello. He rarely says hello this way.
I typed back. “I’m going to bed. Can’t we talk later?”
Not long after, “All right.” appeared in the box.
I closed out the box, shaking my head and went back to bed.

A few days passed and Gina and I were sitting at the kitchen counter, at their place. She was in the middle of taking a bite when she stopped and looked at me.
“Where is this boyfriend of yours?”
A smile jumped onto my face.
“He’s at home.”
“And why aren’t you with him?”
“Because he’d rather play videogames then go out with me.”
“That would do it.”
She took a bite then added, ”After we’re done here, are you going over to his place?”
I nodded.
She pinched me and we started laughing.
What she did next surprised me. At the time, I didn’t make too much of a deal over it, but she slipped an arm around my waist and sat her head on the nearest shoulder for a few seconds.
It didn’t occur until hours later, when I sat in the crook of Richard’s arm. He was gently touching my hair.
I made no reaction to the sudden thought of her.
The phone rang and I slowly got up.
“Hello?”
“Oh, hey, Jess. Is Richie there?”
He sat on the couch, looking at me, when I held out the phone to him. He got up and took the phone.
“It’s Dave,” I whispered.
Richard put the phone to his ear.
“Hey, Davie.”
“Richie, what are you doing right now?”
“Just watching television with Jessica.”
“Put it on channel 592.”
“What’s on?”
“Just do it.”
“Okay, then, “ he said, then told me to change the channel.
I put it on the channel and we found ourselves watching hardcore.
We looked at each other, before he put the phone back to his ear. Before he could say anything, the phone dropped from his hand onto the counter.
I looked back at him.
“What’s the matter?”
“That’s my college girlfriend.”
“Oh.....OH?”
Richard picked up the phone.
“Why do I want to see this?”
“Well, weren’t you asking what she was up to?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, there you go. Question answered.”
‘Yeah, thanks.”
“Em....k. Talk to you later.”
“Yeah.”
He hung up, then came up to me, took the remote from my hand and changed the channel back to what we were watching.


Chapter Two

“If you don’t enjoy where I’m going with this, don’t listen to me,” Mark said, as he stopped playing his guitar and stood in front of the mike.
He looked out into the audience and they were all attentively hanging onto his every word.
He looked at his drummer, Tom, who shrugged, then laughed it off and added, “This is about a good friend of mine. She isn’t here tonight. She’s probably at home, concocting some lame story about her and an imaginary goldfish.”
He laughed again, before starting the next song.

After the show, everybody was scattered. That night, Tom was talking to some random girl about the guy who lived across the street from him and was always answering the door half naked. The moment they stopped talking about the guy, he walked in. She didn’t know it was him, but Tom went quiet and kept eyeing the guy.
She turned and saw a middle-aged man with an unkempt beard wearing a three piece suit, a baseball cap and Converse sneakers. He seemed slightly inebriated.
Tom looked quickly at the girl.
The guy came up to them, after spotting Tom, and bearhugged him, before loudly congratulating him on the show.
She sat quietly and watched their interaction.
Since the girl sat sideways on the couch, she looked around. Their guitarist, Alex, was in the corner, restringing his electric Fender Stratocaster. Henry, their bassist, was nowhere to be seen. Mark and the lead singer from their opening act were standing there, drinking beers, talking.
Mark slowly turned to the girl and she motioned to the guy, and Mark looked at him. He shrugged then turned back to the other guy.
The guy wasn’t belligerent, but rather pretty funny. He was talking shit about baseball teams on the east coast. It was then the girl noticed the red bird sitting on a bat on his hat. The beer bottle in his hand moved in sync with whenever he felt he was making a point.
The guy looked at his watch, before bearhugging Tom again and stomping out.
Tom breathed a sigh of relief when the guy was completely out of view.
She just looked at Tom and started laughing.
“Yeah, that’s Fred. That’s the most clothes I’ve ever seen on that guy.”
Everybody knows a Fred.

Mark excused himself from the other guy, then fished his cell from his pocket and called Jess.
“Hello?”, she said.
“Jess?”
“Mark?”
“Hey. I was looking at the tour schedule, and me and the boys are heading back into town, then have a few days off.”
Mark didn’t know if she heard what he said, as a mass of people appeared and stood around him.
“I--, “ he was interrupted by Tom.
Tom asked if it was Gina to which Mark said, “No. Jess.”
Tom’s response, “Oh. Your girlfriend.”
Both of them laughed, with him momentarily putting the phone away from his ear, then added, “What was I going to say? Oh. We can go do something while I’m back in town.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, how’s Gina by the way?”
“She’s good. I saw her last night.”
“What did you two ladies do?”
“Sat around and watched chick flicks and ate chocolate.”
He laughed and said,”Did you really?”
“No.”
She didn’t say anything for a really long time, before Mark said,”Hey! Are you listening to me?”
“Oh....OH! Sorry. My mind was wandering.”
“Where did it go?”
“Oh. I was just thinking about Gina.”
Pause.
“What about?”
“She misses you terribly.”
“I’ve got a good woman. Tell her I miss her, too.”
“Okay.”
“All right, Jess. I got to go.”
“Okay.”
Both of us hung up.

They were still backstage when Mark sat with Alex, with their acoustic guitars, playing off each other. As a joke, Alex stopped then started playing, “Dueling Banjos”. Mark set his guitar down and went to go get himself another drink.
He was reaching for a Heineken when a pretty blonde girl sidled up to him.
“Hi.”
Mark looked at her.
“Hi.”
“Let’s cut to the chase. I’m very into you. Do you want to play?”
Mark reached for his drink, took his keys from his back pocket and popped the cap off. He took a small sip, then turned back to her.
“Do you have a gameboy? The boys forgot to pack the XBOX.”
She shook her head.
“Then, no. I already have a wife. I don’t need any other chicks. One’s enough trouble.”
The girl just rolled her eyes and left.
Mark got his cell from his pocket again and called Gina but she didn’t answer, so he put it back into his pocket.

He was sitting on one bed in the motel room, watching TV. Tom sat on the other bed, reading some history on the making of the St. Louis arch. Alex sat at the table, with his guitar and a notebook and pen.
“Hello?”
“Mark?”
“Jess!”
The guitar playing stopped momentarily but started up again.
They started talking about something she saw on tv.
Tom turned to Mark and, out of nowhere, said, “Are you sure you’re married to Gina? You sound like you’re married to Jessica.”
Mark didn’t say anything, but looked at him.
Tom continued,” One of these days, you will have to choose between them.”
“Probably. But, both of them make me happy.”
“Beyond a threesome, two girls aren’t worth the effort,” Alex said, while strumming.
Mark kept talking with Jess, ignoring the other two guys in the room, and this continued for the next couple hours.
When Mark hung up, Alex made kissing noises.

Not long after, Henry stumbled in, half drunk and missing one of his sneakers. None of them batted an eyelash and started asking him where he was. It quickly turned into twenty questions, as they all lived vicariously through Henry, the only single guy in the band.

Henry had seen a girl in the audience and then followed her home. He followed on foot as she walked the four blocks.
Before she walked up the stairs, she slowly turned and looked at Henry.
They didn’t say anything.
A slow smile came over her face, as she recognized him.
“Do you want to come upstairs and have something to drink?”
Henry excitedly nodded.
She turned away and slowly ascended the stairs, and he went after her.

He closed the door behind himself, as she slowly took off her sweater.
“Do you want coffee or tea?”
“Coffee.”
She nodded, then went into the kitchen.
He stood there and looked around.
The place was small. From where he stood, he could see all the way into her bedroom. His right shoulder was almost touching the bathroom door.
From around the corner, she said, “Make yourself comfortable.”
He walked the five steps to the couch and sat down. Her remote was on the armrest and he flipped it on. A silent French film from the thirties was playing. He quickly found it boring then changed it to ESPN.

A couple minutes passed and she came back in with two cups of coffee. She set one down then sat down with the other.
He looked at her.
“There’s already sugar in it.”
He looked at the coffee on the table.
“Yeah. How am I sure you didn’t drug the coffee?”
She looked completely pissed off, but silently put her cup down then took a long sip of his.
“Still think I’m trying to kill you?”
He shook his head.
“Besides...” she trailed off, then set the other cup down. She moved closer to him and grabbed the back of his head and kissed him.

A few seconds later, they were undressing and kissing along the way to her bed.

Twenty minutes into being completely naked and her on her back, he found himself mildly embarrassed as he pulled out and came all over her.
Both of them went quiet.
He quickly apologized and offered to go down on her, and she quickly got mad, then threw him out of her place.

Henry stood there, when the other guys burst into laughter.
Alex joked,”You want a hug now?”
Henry scratched his head, then said,” I’m going to bed.”
After he turned away and was about to leave, Alex said, “Don’t disappoint any chicks on your way to bed.”
“I know where you sleep, Alex,” Henry said.
Alex turned to the other two, then asked, “Hey, can I sleep on the floor tonight?”
Both Mark and Tom shook their heads, before Tom closed his book and propped up his pillow, before lying down.
He started snoring not long after.
Alex stopped playing and looked at Tom. He packed up his things and went into the other room.
Mark was still watching TV. He could hear the room next door. The door opened then closed. A few words were said, then there was nothing else.

The next day, Mark looked at Henry.
“You didn’t drink at the girl’s place, so--”
“--There’s a bar around from the motel.”
“Oh,” Mark said, then dropped the subject.

Mark finished washing his hands, then called up Jess.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Jess. Gina hasn’t been answering her phone. Do you know what she could be doing?”
“Actually....She’s sitting right next to me.”
Mark didn’t think too much about it, but was still somewhat surprised the phone went from Jess to Gina so quickly.
“Hi, sweetie,” she said, something sounded strange in her voice.
“Hi, baby. How are you?”
‘I’m good. Really good.”
“Has Jess been looking in on you a lot?”
“Yeah. She has.”
“That’s good. I asked her to. Thought it was about time you two girls got acquainted.”
“I’ve always wondered why you hid her from me. She’s a nice girl.”

They talked for a while.

When they finished the conversation, Gina said, “Good night, sweetie. Make sure you get home in one piece. I love you. Bye.”

A week passed quickly and right before the guys were supposed to board the plane, heading home, they were standing in the airport, arguing over whether they packed Tom’s drum pedal. They were also really hungover, after a heavy night of celebrating one of the roadie’s birthdays. Tom was the least drunk of them and he triple-checked the bag it belonged to. It wasn’t there, but then remembered he just tossed it in his carry-on bag.
Alex went through Tom’s bag and just started grabbing everything, emptying the bag. The pedal was in the middle. Some of his things were on the airport rug. Tom looked hurt, before Mark slapped Alex’s arm and helped pick up the things.
This whole time, Henry was focused on some girl sitting by herself with a suitcase and checking her watch every other minute.
He was about to walk off, when Tom grabbed him and asked where he was going.
Henry pointed at the brunette.
Everybody looked.
“Man. I’ve seen your computer. If sports weren’t invented, every bookmark would be porn. Where did you find time to learn an instrument?”, Alex said.
Mark laughed.
Tom looked at his watch, then said.“We have to be on that plane in less than half an hour. Come on, boys.”

Their manager, Sam, was already on the plane along with the roadies, when the four of them boarded.
“Ready to go home?”
They all nodded, except Henry, who looked over his shoulder, out the plane.
“How much time do we have?”
“No, Henry. You can’t go back out there and say hello to that girl.”
“All right,” he sighed, before he added,”All right, then. Don’t interrupt me for the next half hour.”
Henry made a beeline for the bathroom, undoing his belt along the way.
Sam turned to Alex and said,”That guy needs a girlfriend.”
“Wouldn’t do any good. He’d cheat on her in every city.”
Sam looked at him and was about to say something, but just shook his head.


Chapter Three

Gina and I were standing there, with Alex’s girlfriend and their baby boy, and Tom’s wife and two kids.
They finally arrived and it was a blur of hugs and kisses and hellos. I stood there and saw everybody. Everyone saw Mark kiss Gina on the lips, but look at me, standing apart from everyone, and come over and hugged me for the longest time.
I looked at everybody, and everyone, but Gina, was looking at us, with various expressions on their faces. Gina was looking at her nails.
Mark let go and everyone turned away.
We all piled into our own cars and went our separate ways.

They had a few days off and things went back to their quasi-normal ways. Mark was spending all his time with Gina, so we didn’t see each other all that much.

I was out shopping, because I ran out of shampoo.
Tom’s wife was there while Tom was doing something with the kids.
I didn’t see her as my head was actively juggling several thoughts, but she saw me and finally managed to get my attention.
We had a small exchange, but before she left she said, under her breath, “Skank.”
I let her walk away, the air taken from me.

When I got home, my cell started ringing.
“Hey. Do you want to do something tonight?”
“Okay.”

We ended up going to the usual crowd’s place.
April stood talking to a mousey haired girl I didn’t know, near a window, whispering about some actor they met and the play they saw him in. I didn’t hear much of what they said, as we quickly waved to each other when Mark and I walked by, after we entered.
Mark sat down on the couch while I went to get us drinks.
Brandon was in the kitchen, mixing drinks. Two people were in there with him. He was fixing a margarita and talking to them over the blender.
As soon as I walked in, the woman went quiet. It wasn’t subtle.
Brandon looked at me and said, “Hey.”
He walked away from the blender and got a Heineken from the fridge then set that down in front of me.
“That’s for Mark. What do you want?”
I looked at the blender.
“Whatever’s in there.”
Brandon nodded, then went back to the blender.
“It’ll take a few seconds.”
“Sure. No rush.”
It was about this time when the woman spelled it out for me.
“Are you having an affair with Mark? Tom’s wife told me that Tom told her Mark and you are having sex.”
I looked at everybody, pissed off, then said,”No. Brandon, never mind that drink.”
I picked up the beer and walked out. I handed the beer to Mark, and left through the front door.

I was rushing down the stairs, when Mark came running after me.
“Where are you going?”
I stopped on the bottom step and looked at him.
“What did you tell Tom?”
“I didn’t tell him anything. I just make a bunch of jokes and he must be assuming you and I are together.”
“It’s got to stop. Everybody thinks you’re going to leave Gina.”
He shook his head.
“Nobody’s leaving anyone.”
He went down a few stairs until he was standing one step above me. He gently brushed my hair to one side and rested his hand on the side of my face.
“You’re a sweet girl. These people are just assholes. Let’s go back upstairs and do what we usually do.”
I thought about it for a second and shook my head.
“I’m going to go back to my place and drink,” I said.
“Let me, at least, walk you home.”
“Do whatever you want.”
I turned away and started walking.
I didn’t turn around, but knew he was behind me the whole way home.

I went inside my place and sat on the couch. He closed the door behind himself and locked it.
Both of us were on the couch when we looked at each other. I took one of his hands and put it over my chest. I put my hand over his, then let go.
He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my head.
“Go home to Gina.”
I turned my head back.
He hadn’t moved.
He grabbed me and started kissing me.
I resisted at first, and was about to push him away, but my hand on his chest soon lay next to me, as we both lied down on the couch.

He had his shirt off and he was kissing my neck, when I moved him away from me and sat up.
“This is selfish. We’re being selfish. You have to leave.”
I picked up his shirt and handed it to him.
He tried to kiss me again, but I wouldn’t let him.
He put his shirt back on, then kissed my cheek and left.
Both of us looked miserable when he turned to me before he left the door.

Mark and I were talking over the phone, a few days later.
“Oh, before I go. The boys and I are doing a secret show before we leave town again next week. We’re playing 5th and Brookes. I hope you can make it.”
“When is it?”
“Not tomorrow, but the night after.”
“Okay. I’ll be there.”
“It’s at 7pm.”
“Is Gina going?”
“She doesn’t want to. She said she has plans to go to a play.”
“Anyone else going?”
“Tom’s wife isn’t going. I don’t know if anybody else is. Nobody can get a baby-sitter for that time.”
We laughed.
‘Is the place big?”
“Well, we announced the show on the website and I’ve been dealing with emails from people who want to know if they need anything to get in. The place is small and we can only fit about a hundred forty people max.”
“Okay.”
“All right. Oh, is there any particular song you want to hear? I’m doing up the setlist right now.”
“You know which song I want to hear.”
“Right. Right.”

I walked into the eatery next door to the place they planned to play, hoping to get something quick to eat. I ordered a sandwich and some fries, and sat down, waiting. I casually chatted with my friend who came with me. While we sat, a waitress came and set a drink down in front of me.
We both looked at her.
She said,”This is from the gentlemen over there.”
We looked over and the four of them sat there. Mark raised his glass.
I laughed and picked up the glass. I took a sip then set it down.

I ate slowly and didn’t realize they were watching me. I finished my sandwich and was licking one of my fingers, when I looked back over at them. Tom was drinking. Alex looked bored and stared at the ceiling. Henry had his head on his hand and he looked dreamy-eyed. Mark shrugged then looked at the other guys.
I turned away and excused myself to the bathroom.

When I exited, Mark stood awkwardly outside.
“Hey.”
I turned and looked at him.
“Hey.”
“You’re in for a surprise tonight.”
“I am?”
He walked away before he said anything else.

We stood near the stage to the right.
They were five songs in when a familiar tune started to play.
Mark said into his microphone, “This is for a friend of mine. She’s actually here tonight, so everybody say hi to Jess.”
He pointed at me, which made everyone in the audience turn and look at me.
They started playing the song I kept asking them to play.
Mark was looking at me, when my face went from embarrassed grinning to looking like I was opening Christmas presents,and the biggest grin came over his face.

We were sitting around, afterwards. Various conversations were overlapping each other, when Mark and I turned to each other.
I lightly punched him in the arm.
“I’ve been asking you to do that song for the past year.”
“I just thought it would be nice.”
“Thank you.”
“No. Thank you,” he said, then patted my head.
We smiled at each other, then our attentions were diverted to other people. Henry was sitting across from me when he started flirting with me and Mark and Tom started talking about some band they watched on tv. My left ear picked up portions of their conversation and both of them were not saying nice things about their lead singer. Something about a pretty boy poser who cared more about the label on his jacket then the song lyrics.

Henry and I were talking about something, when this girl went in front of him. She had a cigarette in her mouth and he pulled a lighter out of his pocket, despite the fact he didn’t smoke, and lit it.
Her top was low enough that Henry could probably see her belly button, after she leaned down and gave a full view.
A big goofy smile came over his face after she got up and rubbed his head, before walking away.
“That’s why I always keep a lighter in pocket, because hot chicks are always going to smoke.”
Henry looked in the girl’s direction.
I turned and saw she was standing nearby, looking at Henry.
He said, “Excuse me,” and went over to her. She blew smoke in his face and not long after, they disappeared together.
I couldn’t read their lips, but it’s safe to assume they were going somewhere private.
I sat there then went back to listening to the others around me.

It went all night and the light was starting to appear outside when most of us said our good-byes.
Henry came back an hour before the last stranger said their good-bye, after holding the lead singer of another band who came to the show hostage all night long. When she finally left, he looked at us and shrugged.
Henry pulled me aside and started telling me how horrible she was, saying she bit him when she was down on her knees, and how it got worse from there. He kept going, hoping he was just imagining she could be so bad. That, and he liked her loudness.
“Oh. I have to show this.”
He turned around and pulled his pants down.
From clear across the room, I heard Alex say,”Damn. What happened to you?”
Henry and I both turned to the leftover crowd.
Everybody was looking in our direction.
Tom pointed at Henry.
Henry looked down and he pulled his pants and underwear up, not embarrassed.
Mark laughed. Tom looked embarrassed and covered his face. Alex had that,”Oh. That’s nothing.” look on his face. Everybody else seemed to be either shocked or disgusted or both.

It was an hour later when the rest of us were thrown out and dispersed into the morning light.
Mark walked me home, part of the way, because he wanted to be there when Gina woke up.

We stood at the stairs and while various people walked by, he kissed me.
Both of us were drunk when our sweet good night kiss elicited strangers and neighbors to comment outloud we should get a room and other things.
I think a good five minutes passed, before we broke away from each other.
We looked at one another and just stupidly stared.
I didn’t say anything and went up the stairs, while he didn’t say anything and went down the stairs.
We didn’t turn around and tell each other good night, but kept walking our separate ways.

I stood in my apartment and looked around. Everything was the same, but felt different.
This is the moment where I knew it had changed between us. This is where it started. I don’t know if for better or for worse, but we were never the same after this kiss.


Chapter Four

Mark got home in time to see Gina getting in her car.
She kissed him, while his head told him to try again.
He kissed her back and felt something, but this time she didn’t have a reaction.
They looked at one another and scratched their heads. She blamed it on the alcohol and he accused his tiredness.
She left and he went to bed.

He didn’t sleep long as he got out of bed after an hour of lying there and staring at one of the walls.
He got a notebook from the table and sat there, writing out whatever came to his head, vague but specific in parts. He couldn’t explain what he was feeling, and there was no moment of clarity. The more he wrote, the more he was confused.
A few pages worth of words strung together that could be used for song lyrics resulted from this.
He left it at that, after looking at the clock a couple hours later. Getting it out of his head, onto paper, helped. He crawled into bed then fell asleep.

His eyes opened and his cell was ringing.
“Hello?”
It was Tom.
“Did someone forget about band practice?”
Mark looked at the clock.
His eyes widened.
“All right. Let me get ready. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Mark rolled out of bed, brushed his teeth and left the front door, with some of his gear.

He got there and Tom was sitting in a chair, his arms crossed, and watching Alex playing something.
Henry sat next to him then turned and nodded in agreement.
“Sorry, boys. I know I’m late.”
“Listen to what Alex created last night,” Tom said.
Mark set his things down and the three of them watched Alex.

Three minutes later, Alex finished and the others were around him, applauding.
“When is your record coming out?”
Alex laughed.
“No, seriously. You will borrow my four-track and make a demo. You have to do it.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Alex put his guitar down and looked at the rest of them.
“Enough already, before my head gets too big to fit in the room.”
The others nodded, then everybody set up.
Before they played, they all looked at each other and nodded again.

When Mark got home, Gina sat on the couch, doing her toenails. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore one of his long t-shirts.
He sat there and momentarily looked restless.
“Feel like going out to dinner?”
“Sure. Where to?”
“I don’t know. But, I’m going to take a shower.”
Mark got up and went to the bathroom, while Gina finished painting her toes scarlet.

Mark and Gina sat in the restaurant, silently enjoying their dinner. It wasn’t that they had nothing to talk about, but they didn’t need to fill up the silences with unnecessary words.
They sat side by side and he had his arm around her, and periodically kissed her cheek. When the check came, he had his arm still around her and he kissed her forehead.

When they got home, both sat on the couch.
Mark looked at the clock and Gina turned to him.
“Go on. Go out,” she said, before yawning. “I’m going to bed.”
He kissed her face and she kissed him back.

Mark stood at Jess’s door. She was alone after she came home from Richard’s place, where she force fed him soup.
She was right about to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee with a few videos on youtube, when he called to say he stood outside the building, and she buzzed him in.

He walked in and took off his jacket and sat down.
“Want something to drink?”
“Sure.”
“Help yourself.”
He went over to the fridge and got something for himself.
She sat at the desk, watching someone randomly talking off the top of their head about an insane topic.
He came over to her and stood behind. After setting his drink down, he started massaging her shoulders.
She stopped his hands and turned to him.
They both looked at each other, after the video was over, and were silent for a long time.
He undid her hair and then leaned down.
While they kissed, they undid his jeans.

In bed, they were lying there, the sheets covering up while exposing.
“Oh. I just remembered something. I made something for you,” she said.
She didn’t subconsciously take the sheets with her, but casually got out of bed.
He watched as she walked out of the room, before coming back and presenting him with it. A mixtape made of songs by a particular band. He told her he never listened to them before, when she started talking about them a few weeks ago. She let it slip that she must be really convinced nothing in his CD collection is beyond 1997.

Two weeks later, while Tom drove the van, the four of them listened to the CD. They took turns who got to play music and he decided to play the CD. Each one had a different reaction. Henry didn’t like it in general, but found elements he liked. Alex wanted to toss it out into the street, saying how everything wrong with modern music was personified in that band. Tom liked the music and knew various members from somewhere, some festival where he ran into one of them when they stood in line for the port-o-potties, who then introduced him to everybody else, but didn’t get a chance to see them play, as an hour later his band was playing on a different stage. Mark sat there and initially didn’t like it either, but didn’t say anything until the last song played. He trusted her judgement in music, but had his doubts about this band. Except for Tom, the general consensus was negative.
Tom was the most open-minded of them all and insisted on playing it over. While it played, Tom pointed out specific notes or the 5/4 count or anything he thought would appeal to the others.
Henry liked it on the second listen with all the information. Mark started to slowly warm to it. Alex didn’t care.

The third listen, Mark sang along where he understood the lyrics. Alex grabbed his ipod and drowned it out with Bob Seger. Tom and Henry discussed it.

Ironically, the town they were headed to, the band on the CD called home. The band they were listening to weren’t on tour, so Tom suggested they pay them a visit.

It was around 10am, when they found the place.
Tom was the only one excited enough to be there.
Before Tom rang the doorbell, he casually talked about the two who lived there. One was a scrawny blonde chain-smoking boy who couldn’t be bothered to walk around in pants indoors, while the other was equally pale but dark haired and uniformed up in striped pajama bottoms and tshirts with obnoxious statements.
The brunette one, Patrick, greeted us at the door. He was wearing a tshirt that had ways to say fuck you in other languages. There was laughing and someone shaking a tambourine in the background.
The whole band was there. All six of them packed into the smallest living room one could imagine.
Every single member recognized Tom, which always surprises everyone, because he never goes anywhere without running into somebody he knows.
There were two dark haired girls in the band and each of them kissed his cheek, and all the boys patted his back. Everybody in the band was twenty something.
Patrick was their drummer and he went and sat behind his drums.
The blonde boy, Billy, was their lead singer. His outfit of choice was a yellow tshirt with an owl on it and plaid boxers.
None of the other band members batted an eyelash at this choice in fashion, while Alex and Henry would exchange looks from time to time.

An hour of practicing, Mark was able to distinguish the rest of the band. The two girls were sisters, Diana and Abby. They played the bass and guitar. Diana was addicted to eyeliner and pink lipstick. Abby wore lip gloss, but nothing else. Both were equally consuming liters of Dr.Pepper. Their other guitarist was Chris. Everytime there was a break, he made a comment about his guitar amp being too low. Their keyboardist, Adam, wore a white jacket with buttons all over the lapels.

They practiced for a while longer, before the band looked at each other then just stopped. Patrick set his sticks down and got up. Each one in turn set their instrument down, leaving Billy singing by himself. Abby stood next to him and they started doing double-measure handclaps before she started singing along.
A full minutes passed before the others went to the other microphone and started singing along with the first two.
Diana looked at Tom, then motioned him over.
He shook his head, but turned to Henry and suggested he go there.
Henry got up and the band momentarily broke into applause, when he joined them.
Mark followed, getting the handclaps down before he started singing the chorus, which the band sang over and over.
Tom finally joined them after Mark motioned to him and Alex.
After Tom started singing, everybody looked at Alex.
He emphatically shook his head and crossed his arms, while sitting on the couch.
He looked at the nearly empty beer in his hand, swigged the rest, set it on the floor, wiped his hands then got up.
Everybody was crowded around the two microphones, singing a cappella and hand clapping.

A few more times through, with each time becoming progressively faster, after everybody got the hang of it, then Billy made the stop sign and everybody automatically stopped, except Alex, who was really into it.
He found himself looking awkwardly around.
Everybody else erupted into laughter.
He looked around, shrugged it off then went and quietly sat down.
He was quickly handed a beer.

When the four of them exited the house, Henry turned to Tom and asked, “What was their name again?”
“Ginger and the Tomatoes.”
“Ginger and the Tomatoes? Are you kidding?”
Tom looked at him and shook his head.
Alex said, “I bet that band name was that kid Billy’s idea.”
Tom nodded, then looked at his watch.
“Well, we have a couple hours until load in, so what now?”

They found themselves at the nearest 7-11 and stocking up on burritos and chips and other junk food and diet Cokes.
The cashier made a joke about them being stoned, while he was ringing up their items.
Before they walked out, Alex said, “Maybe. We’re rock stars.”
The guy said, “That would be a yes.”

That night, Mark and Tom stood in the back and watched the opening band. Henry was flirting with some girl and Mark saw her write something down on a napkin. Mark looked around for Alex, and saw him doing shots with some random guy, then looked at the front door where people were still streaming in.
Several members of Ginger and the Tomatoes walked in and saw them. Patrick and Billy were dressed their usual way, but Billy was wearing pants. When they stopped in front of Tom, Diana turned to Billy and playfully tugged at Billy’s pants.
Billy looked down and ripped off his pants.
Everybody within close proximity started cracking up, including the band on stage, who laughed then kept going.
Billy helicoptered his pants then just dropped them on the floor, before saying, “And, now, may the drinking commence.”
Diana followed him over.
Patrick picked up Billy’s pants and said,”I’m the fucking designated driver tonight. So, I have to keep those fuckers in line. I’m not worried for Bill, because that fucker’s harmless when he drinks. But, Diana, she’s another story.”
“I’ve heard stories about her, when it comes to drinking.”
Mark looked at him.
Tom looked at Diana and Billy walk up the bar. The bartender just looked Billy up and down and shook his head, before talking with them.
Tom then turned to Mark and started explaining how he saw them play one time. After the show, Diana and Abby were standing to one side, drinking, while the guys were watching the main band. Some guy started hitting on Abby and both of them were trying to ignore the guy who became more obnoxious as time went on. Diana gave Abby the look and Abby tried to hold her back, but she insisted on kicking the guy’s ass right then and there. He remembered both of them got free drinks the rest of the time they were there.
“Yeah. You wouldn’t be able to tell from looking at her, but that girl can throw down. She can fuck us all up, especially Bill. But, Bill’s a pansy-ass,” Patrick said.
Billy came back and Diana was still talking with the bartender.
Billy said, “She went to high school with the guy,” when everybody asked why she was still talking with him, before whispering, “I overheard part of what you boys have been saying, and you don’t want to fuck with that girl. I made the mistake once and she almost killed me. She’s a nice person, but just don’t piss her off.”
“And, make sure she fucking doesn’t drink that much.”
“Oh, and she’s really protective over Abby.”
Billy and Patrick looked at each other and started talking to each other in rapid fire French, which Tom seemed to easily follow along, while Mark could barely pick out words here and there.
She finally came back with her and Billy’s drinks.
Patrick and Billy stopped talking and turned to her.
Patrick asked how many drinks she’s having that night.
“Just three.”
“Well, pace ‘em out, sweetie. Pace ‘em out. We can’t have the cops called on us again because of you,” Billy told her.
Mark looked at the both of them.
“Are you two a couple?”
The three of them laughed.
“Are you kidding me?” she said.
“She’s not my type.”
Diana turned to him and asked, “Is it because I’m a woman?”
“No. Will you fucking quit accusing me of being gay?”
“Well, you are!”
“No. I’m not.”
“Dude, I saw you and Patrick that one time.”
Patrick started laughing, pretending to fluff his hair.
Billy had a serious look on his face, before he started laughing.
“These guys don’t have to know what we do sexually,’ he said, pointing at Mark and Tom.
Alex was standing behind them, at this point, when he blurted out, “I knew it! You’ve all had sex with each other. I knew there was something.”
“Well, we get bored and drunk. What else is there to do besides get high and have sex, when we’re not playing music?”
Alex was about to say something, but decided not to. He just couldn’t contain his laughter, when he walked away, to the bathroom.
Billy added, “Besides. The whole band, except for Abby, is an equal-opportunist when it comes to hedonism.”
Patrick then said, “That’s how we fucking roll.”
Tom started laughing, then Mark asked, “Where is the rest of the band?”
“Adam is home playing Halo 3. That boy needs to stop falling asleep with the controller in his hand. Chris couldn’t make it for some reason, which he didn’t tell us. And, Abby. She’s with that damn boyfriend of hers. They’re all lovey dovey. It makes me sick.” Diana said.
Patrick turned to her and asked, “What’s wrong with him? He’s a fucking great guy.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy. It’s just...”
“What?”
“He asked me out first and I turned him down.”
“Jealous your sister is fucking him?”
“A little. But, not really because it’s him.”
“What they got. I fucking gotcha.”
Diana nodded, then took a swig of her drink.
Tom looked at his watch, then motioned to Mark.
“I’m sorry, kids. But, Mark and I have to go now. Enjoy the show.”
They were about to walk off, when Billy stopped them.
“Could we get backstage passes?”
“I already gave you some. Besides, we’re not sticking around here. We plan on going to Seebears after this.”
“You mean, Sea Bees.”
“Yeah. What did I say?”
“Some fucking underground gay club.”
“A place you know very well, I assume.”
“Actually, no. I went there one fucking time and got hit on by every ugly old guy who was there.”
The three of them were still talking about it, when Tom and Mark left.

They went backstage, to the small crowded room. Alex was already standing around, watching several other people there, passing around a small metal bong.
Immediately Tom went, “What did I tell you people? After the show, when we all can relax.”
The blonde girl quickly put it out and then slipped it into her pocket, after the bald guy in the leather jacket took one final puff.
Everybody sitting there looked at each other and then dispersed, with most of them leaving the room.

The four of them were standing there, when the band opening for them finally entered the room.
Three sweaty guys with their shirts tucked in. As soon as they stood nearby, they high-fived each other. The lead singer, Jake, was wearing an eyepatch, because he got in a fight with some random guy in the audience, the night before, but was trying to play it off that he was bringing the style back. Christian and Dutch were standing behind him, pointing and snickering like five year old girls.
Jake looked around, then asked, “Where did Kaitlyn go?”
“She must have left the room and went to go smoke some more pot,” somebody in the room said.
“Oh,” he said, before he turned around and exited the room.



Chapter Five

We finally sat across from each other, except I didn’t know it was him. He was just this really random, hot stranger. Sure, there was the many phone calls and our online conversations, but even after seeing each other on cam, I had no clue. People never look exactly the way they really do, when you see them in pictures.
We sat in chairs across from each other.
I sat there, with my legs crossed and one hand slightly tapping the chair’s side. This really gorgeous redheaded blue-eyed man wearing a regular buttoned-up shirt came in and sat down.
After a few minutes, we saw each other. I already felt naked, as a slight blush came over me, when he smiled.
Then I thought, “This is how it is. You’re going to go home to your boring life, to your boring wife and to your boring kids. Face it. I’m the only exciting thing happening in this sad pathetic existence of yours. At least, you think so.
The same thing everyday. You wake up, shower, wake the wife, have your morning coffee and toast with sunny side eggs. You kiss her and your two kids on their foreheads, then go in your car and drive off to work. Nine to five. Everyday. Every week..”
That’s what was running through my head, as we stared at each other. I couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind, but hoped something x-rated played in there.

I sat there and the first words out of my mouth were, “Great! I’m a stalker.” I saved the page, put a date on the top right corner and closed Word.
I twisted my mouth, then turned off the laptop and got up to distract myself. The TV was nearby and I flicked it on. Not paying any attention, I went and poured myself a glass of pomegranate juice.
My back to the thirty-inch, I heard a familiar gruff voice start a song about an episode of drunken revelry.
A stupid smile came over my face as I slowly turned to the TV, where I saw four guys in jeans and checked shirts.
I stupidly started singing along with the song.
The song was half over when I realized it was about the night we met, not what I thought it was.
Their last album came out a few months ago, and I went over and looked at it.

An hour or more later, I stood there in shock. I had inspired all the lyrics. The first words out of my mouth were, “Oh. Fuck.”

I finished my drink and went back to my laptop, still slightly creeped out by it.
It literally took seconds before my hands started typing.
While I typed, my cell rang.
Gina was calling me, inviting me to go hang out with her. I was going to turn her down, but decided it would be a boring night of just watching a movie and having dinner afterwards.

We decided that she would take me to this bar that was in another part of town. As soon as we walked in, it was not the place where you go to play darts and challenge someone to who can do more Jagermeister shots. It was more obvious than that. And, it was clear after a few seconds she knew people there.
As soon as we walked in, a pretty blonde girl saw her and they hugged. While they hugged, a redheaded girl with her roots exposed came up to Gina and kissed her cheek.
I stood there for a few seconds while two others said their hellos to her. The last girl was a gorgeous long haired girl with red ladybug barrettes in her dark curls.
I stood by the bar about to order a drink when I turned to Gina and the girl casually giving each other an open mouth howdy.
I was caught offguard that when I tried to spin around, back to the bartender, that my hands didn’t land on the counter, but still in the air. It didn’t help as I leaned forward, because I rammed my face into that concrete slab.
Laughter greeted me when I lifted my head, after Gina came over and made sure I was all right.
The first words out of my mouth, “Does Mark know?”
She shook her head, then introduced me to her girlfriend, Enid.
I couldn’t speak for the next few minutes.

The three of us sat at a booth in some all night diner. Enid had a veggie burger while Gina just drank a chocolate milkshake. I got a couple bites of my grilled cheese sandwich, before I put it down and just stared at it.
When I looked up, they were both looking at me. Enid had her arm around Gina’s neck.
“I know this looks bad, but I know Mark cheats on me when he’s on the road.” She looked at Enid, then smiled,” Besides, my girlfriend is cute.”

A few hours later, I found myself balancing a bottle of tequila on my knee while on my laptop.
I wasn’t drunk, but after a few minutes I stopped typing then called up Richard.
“I’m coming over.”
He didn’t protest.

Richard and I lied in bed, the sheets barely covering us.
He looked at me and before I could say anything, he got out of bed and reached for his digital camera.
“Here. Sit up.”
I looked at him, heavily sighed, then slowly got up, pulling up the sheet with me.
Without much warning, he took my picture.
Before he uploaded it to his computer, he showed it to me.
It was frameable.
He would make such a good photographer but he preferred the safety of a nine-to-five. Developing 35mm film costs money, he always said. It does, but he should be putting his work in galleries or magazines, not in his bedroom.
He sat on the bed again and put his arm around me. We started kissing again as he gently pulled down the sheet, leaving us both exposed.
“Ready to go again?”
Before I could answer, he pulled me onto his lap.

I didn’t answer either, but felt bad when I crawled out of bed, after Richard fell asleep, and checked to see who called.
I called him back.

Gina and I were sitting on her couch, and she was crying.
“Okay. So, what happened again?”
She couldn’t speak, as her hands covered her face.
When she took her hands away, her eyes were red and tears covered her cheeks.
“Enid decided she couldn’t be with me, if she had to share.”
I leaned in and hugged her.
We sat there and, while I held her, she kissed me on the cheek and said, “Thank you.”

We sat there, our heads together, and didn’t say anything for the next half hour.

A couple weeks passed and she called me again.
She seemed happier.
Mark was coming back into town in a couple days.
‘Let’s do something, before they roll back into town and things go back to normal.”
“Okay.”

Both of us were walking down the street, not knowing where to go. She didn’t want to go see a movie, and I refused to go to the bar she frequents. The only reason I didn’t want to was because it would not have been wise. I just saw tears and broken glasses when she let it slip she was hoping to see Enid again. It’s always a mess to come into contact with an ex-lover. We settled on a bar we never went to before, where no one we knew would be randomly showing up.
Or thought no one we knew would be there.

We were sitting in a booth by ourselves, when I looked over and saw a familiar twosome. Not a couple, but two people who could be together if they didn’t fight all the time. We all assumed sexual tension, because one of them was always picking on the other for the most miniscule things.
They didn’t see me at first. Charlie and Laurel were standing off to one side of the bar, looking into each other’s eyes, smiling. They were doing shots and each time they downed one, they clinked their glasses together.
I was half paying attention to Gina, while watching them act so unlike the way I usually see them.
I didn’t expect my reaction but I wasn’t thinking. I stood up, pointing at them, and yelled across the room, “It’s all an act!”
They both slowly turned to me, shrugged it off, then went back to what they were doing. Then realized who I was and turned back to me. A look of shock came over her, and he turned red. They edged away from each other. Charlie set his glass down, nodded at Laurel, adjusted his hat then left.
Laurel brought her glass and the bottle of Jagermeister with her. Before she sat down, she got the attention of one of the waitresses and signalled for two more glasses.
She sat next to me, then I turned to her.
“How long have you been dating Charlie?”
“We’re not dating.”
Gina looked at the both of us, then said, “They’re just having sex.”
Laurel made a nervous giggle.
“When did this start?”
“Well. It’s a long story.”
“We have time,” Gina said.
“Fine.”

Laurel was leaving one night and after she exited, Charlie was already outside, having a cigarette.
They looked at each other and nodded.
She got to the bottom stair as he finished and tossed it on the ground, before putting it out with his sneaker.
She was walking away, when he said,”Do you hate me?”
She stopped and looked at him.
“No. But, I always thought you were against me.”
They both looked at each other, differently.
Laurel looked up the stairs, at the window to Brandon and April’s apartment.
“Do you want to go grab something to eat?”
‘I could go for some fries.”
“Let’s go then.”

They went to a McDonald’s around the corner from where they were.
Both of them were eating fries smothered in ketchup and drinking diet Cokes.
They weren’t talking, just enjoying each other’s company.
He asked,” Do you want to go back to my place and have sex?”
She took a drink, then said,”Yeah.”

Both of them were at his place and wasted no time getting naked.

After she orgasmed for the eighth time, she rolled off him. Laurel rubbed his head then got out of bed.
While she dressed, they discussed if they should change their behavior in public. It was decided they would continue despising each other when around their friends, but once a week meet up to jump in bed.
The fact they were having a few drinks at a bar they never go to was a fluke. An experiment if they could get along outside of the bedroom.

“How long have you been doing this?”
“A few months.”
“Okay. You do realize this counts as a date, right?”
“It does?”
Laurel looked at Gina.
Gina nodded.
I didn’t notice until this moment that Laurel kept looking outside.
I turned around and Charlie was outside. He was pointing to his watch. He saw me looking at him and pretended to not see me.
“I think you should go,” I said.
Laurel couldn’t get away from us fast enough.
The waitress handed us two extra glasses, when I saw them outside, groping by a lamppost.

We had quite a few shots out of the already paid for bottle, but decided it wasn’t ours to finish.

I went back to their place with her.
We made out for a little bit, but I quickly sobered up and had to leave.
Along the way down the stairs, I felt the strongest urge to throw up, just thinking about it.
Now, I’ve kissed both of them.