an abandoned novel

Hopefully one day, I will actually write a real novel, but I hit the usual sixty page snag and stopped. It's a start and I actually had planned for about ten chapters, then see the progress was before adding on more, but this one fizzled out, as they all do. It actually fizzled out some time last year, as this has just been sitting on the computer for a while now and I just came across it while trying to find some other file.

Perhaps, I could condense this and make a short story out of it.

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Chapter One

We realized the horror of it, of kissing each other.
The beer and vodka was not an excuse, but it amplified the warm glow that surrounded us. The crowded bar full of strangers didn’t stop and constant motion swarmed. Conversations about sports and work and meandering gossip were on their tongues. Two people were flirting right behind us. One bartender told a rude joke to a regular who came in and was working on his fourth beer. The other had a smirk on his face while silently pouring a triple shot of vodka with one hand while shaking another drink in the other. It was past midnight and this where we usually came to relax.
Our heads were huddled together while gently discussing the fact of our unhappiness with the people we were with, but it didn’t occur to ourselves that unspoken lust fueled our ongoing weekly meetings.
There was a pause before he turned to me and tenderly touched my mouth, running a finger across my chin. I don’t remember what came out of my mouth, before we went quiet and just stared at one another. I ruffled his receding hairline back, then he tickled my shoulder. I giggled, then somehow it went from that to clumsily slipping each other the tongue.
It took us a few seconds to realize what we were doing wasn’t supposed to feel good, and a sudden wave of repulsion caused us to break away.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, as I quickly downed the rest of my vodka tonic.
I didn’t know how to react, so awkwardly patted his shoulder instead of our customary long hug, before dropping a twenty on the counter and leaving.
As the coolness of the air soothed my thoughts, I never thought he would kiss like that.
When I went home and changed, he was my last thought before I fell asleep, and it creeped me out.

A week passed when he called. We were still shaken up by the kiss and I could tell by his voice he wanted to make sure I was all right, before he asked if I wanted dinner that night to make up for it.
“Okay,” I hesitantly said.

Dinner was comfortable. It wasn’t an expensive meal, but comfort food at an all night diner. We sat across and watched each other eat, him with his cheeseburger and fries, me with New England clam chowder out of a sourdough bowl.
We sat and casually chatted.
I liked his wife and met her several times. She was a pretty blonde haired, green eyed girl, like I imagined he would be with. He didn’t like my boyfriend and made no attempt to be nice about it, even though they’ve met and are very pleasant to each other.
Both of us stayed completely sober that night, and purposely avoided any mention of the other night, but as we walked out, we crossed paths with a mutual friend of ours who lived nearby, who was just coming home from work, and went over to his place.
When we got there, we called our significant others and told them where we were. My boyfriend groggily said to say hello, while his wife told him not to drink too much and get home safely.
It was a long night, with others coming and going. I have no idea how this couple manages to get any sleep, when they know so many people who arrive at all hours of the day.
We stayed on the couch the whole time until someone spilled beer on my shirt.

This is where we met, those three years ago. The same place, the same couch, the same people. Except when we met, I was standing near him. He was sitting on the couch, and someone had set their guitar down by the armrest. Rather than get up and grab himself another drink, he picked up the guitar and just started playing.
I was fairly new in town and didn’t know that many people. Only our friend and his girlfriend, who wanted me to meet their friends. For some odd reason, I was having an impassioned argument about the pros and cons of some stupid topic, which I purposely like to forget. It doesn’t matter what it was, even though it was embarrassingly low-brow. But, I was still so angered that the next thing I knew I threw the bottle in disgust. Not at the person causing my foul mood, but at the poor guy sitting all alone on the couch, wearing a striped sweater and chain-wallet past him.
The sound of a scratched record echoed in my head, as the room went dead silent and everybody looked at him.
He bit his lip as one hand rubbed his shoulder. He mouthed “Ouch”, momentarily winced then went back to playing.
I snapped out of my shock and asked him.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, when he looked at me.
Everybody went back to their drinking and talking, when I moved near him, standing over him.
“I’m really sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up for it?”
“Um...,” he trailed off, stopping his strumming and looking around himself, then motioned to the can beside him and added, “I could go for another beer.”
I silently nodded then went off to the kitchen.
This was my favorite room in the house. It was the best place in town that fit twenty people, although on that particular night about twice that many squeezed in. As the night wore on, I found myself alone with the guy with people mysteriously going into in the kitchen for one reason or another, and ended up bonding over our sheer hatred of 70s Disco. He, also, played me a song his band was working on and it impressed me.

Fast forward to now. We sat quietly, switching between diet Cokes and experimental virgin smoothies that our friend kept throwing at us. Every so often, people who barely knew us thought we were a couple, despite our constant avoidance of any bit of touching. Many others came by and asked why our significant others slash partners slash lovers slash whatever weren’t present. We answered in shrugs. His wife didn’t enjoy most of the people present, while my boyfriend was always asleep by midnight. We were in love with homebodies who understood our urge to spend time exploring in the darkest hours. They trusted us together which we implicitly agreed to.

It was 4am when we said our good-byes and good nights to our hosts and others in various stages of drunkenness.
We were walking down the street and breezily started talking about another mutual friend who seemed to love showing off his naked self as much as possible. We were avoiding our true thoughts which made it more intense, despite our joking and laughing.
But, then he said, “I would like to go home with you.”
“You’re already walking me home.”
“You know what I mean.”
I did but just stared ahead.

We were at the bottom of the stairs when we went in for our hug. He sweetly pressed his lips on my forehead, but refused to let me go. The longest hug turned into a number of short pecks on the cheek turned into longer kisses. One hand was on my ass and another on my back, while both of mine were on his shoulders.
I was tempted to invite him inside for coffee, but snapped out of it, then quickly pushed him away and said a joyless good night before hurrying up the stairs and entering the building.
Before I closed the door, I looked at him. He had such a weird look in his eyes, before he started to walk off.

A month passed and we had small phone calls here and there, when I was sitting there, and picked up my phone and called him.
“Hello?”
“Oh, hey. How are you?”
“I’m good. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie tonight. The showing’s at midnight.”
“All right. The one we always go to?”
“Yeah.”
“All right. Meet you then.”

I don’t know what came over me, but usually I dress in pants and my favorite oversized green sweater, but I found myself put on the tightest black dress in my closet, usually reserved for special dinner dates with my boyfriend, and the highest heels. Usually I don’t care what I look like, but for some odd reason, it mattered that night.

We didn’t make it past the front doors of the movie theatre, because at dinner, I took off my coat and he instantly gulped and awkwardly said he wanted the check, even though we hadn’t ordered anything. While we sat down, he wouldn’t stop staring at me. I think the way I dressed made him nervous.
My best recourse was to go home and change.

He followed me inside, after I invited him in for coffee. I went into my bedroom and started to unzip the dress, when I saw him through the crack in the door, move over to the CDs and pick one out, then started playing it.
I stopped when I realized he started playing “The Murder Ballads”, which I forgot was in my possession. I turned away and had my dress fully unzipped, when I turned back to him.
The door was open and I saw him standing there. The expression on his face was neutral.
I turned away and slowly removed my dress, aware that he was still staring. I started to undo my bra, when he couldn’t take it anymore. I thought he was going to say something, before he came up to me and just grabbed my arm and led me to the bed. He kissed me while removing the rest of my clothes, then sat me down.
I watched him as he kissed his way downward.

An hour later and an uncomfortable orgasm on my part, he looked at me and stopped. He kissed his way down my thigh and licked my knee, before slowly standing up. He was very clearly aroused, but stood there scratching his head, looking a little confused.
“I need a glass of water, “ he said.
He walked out of the room, leaving me on the bed.

I got dressed and walked in on him. Some of his hair sparkled with drops. He was drinking water, and his back was to me, when I was near him.
I turned away from him to get a glass for myself. I heard him quickly zip up his pants, while I went to the fridge and poured myself some juice.
We stood there, drinking, when we looked at each other. While he was alone, he washed his face.
He quickly finished his water, then set the glass in the sink. For a few seconds, he didn’t move.
I continued drinking, then coldly received a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey. The band’s going on tour next week. Do you want to meet up before we head out of town?
I stopped drinking and said, “Okay.”
“Great.”
He gently touched my hair, then quickly moved away, mumbled something then went over to the door. He mumbled something else, before telling me he’d call and saying to get some sleep.

Three days passed before he called me. I sat in front of my laptop, staring at a blank screen, when I picked up without looking at who was on the other end.
He said,” Do you want to go have coffee?”
“Yeah, okay.”
I quickly packed up my laptop and threw on a hoodie.

We sat there and he told me they would be gone for eight months and to periodically check in to see if his wife was all right and a lot of things.
He went dead silent, before he looked me square in the eye and said he loved me.
I nearly choked on my coffee.
He laughed, but we both knew he was serious.

Before they boarded the plane, to get to the other coast, he called me. I couldn’t hear him above the other guys and the other sounds. All I heard was, “I’ll call you when we get back,” before the line went dead. I’m not even sure that’s what he said.

Three months passed and I was on my laptop again. It was around 7pm, when my phone rang.
“Hello?”
I was staring at the blinking cursor mid-sentence, when a woman’s voice piped up on the other side.
“Hey, Jessie. You know who this is?”
It didn’t come to me immediately.
She added, “It’s Mark’s wife.”
“Oh....OH! Hi, Gina.”
“Hey, I was thinking. I miss Mark and you’re one of his best friends. You and I have never gotten to spend real quality time together without him. You and I should go have dinner together.”
“Okay.”
‘I’m busy right now. Want to do it tomorrow night?”
“Okay. But, wait, what do you feel like eating?”
“I don’t know. I’m a cheap date. Let’s decide tomorrow night.”
“Okay.”
“All right. Talk to you tomorrow night.”

Twenty four hours passed and we met up for coffee.
She sat by the window, her back to the glass. She didn’t look like the type to wear a slinky red dress, because everytime I see her, she was always wearing very conservative clothing.
I had an eyebrow raised when I walked up to her.
She looked at herself.
“What’s wrong?”
“A bit overdressed, aren’t we?”
She did this adorable shrug, then said, “I felt like putting this on.”
It didn’t occur until then that she rarely went anywhere and didn’t know the meaning of dressing appropriately.

We were both slowly sipping our coffees when she point blank told me that Mark and her never go on dates anymore.
After ten years, they must still do things to keep them going.
All she said was, “I don’t know. I hope we’re doing something right.”
I hope so, too, otherwise they were doomed.

I took her home and was about to leave, when she invited me in, not wanting to be alone.
We spent part of the night talking. Until 1am, we sat on the couch, casually chatting about Mark, his band, and things we didn’t know about each other.
She casually let it drop that she thought when we first met, that she was convinced Mark and I were having an affair, but she knew now it wasn’t like that.
She trusted me whole-heartedly and I felt like a douchebag, considering I let her husband do things to me.
Before she went into their bedroom, she gave me a blanket and a pillow.

Her light went out and I slowly went to my laptop, and after turning all, but one, lamp off, I crossed my legs and started typing.
While I saved it, I went and checked my email. The typical Spam and inbox regulars. An email from Mark was there. I opened it and it was obviously sent quickly. It said,” Hey, Jess. Here in Los Angeles. Our opening band is awesome. Was thinking of you. Tell my wife I miss her, too. Mark”
It made me smile.

I was woken up to the smell of coffee. Gina was already dressed for work and standing near me. I looked at the clock on the wall and it said it was nearly 6am. I’m rarely awake at this time, because I’m falling asleep as the sun is coming up.
I slowly packed my stuff and after a couple cups of coffee, we left the front door. I went home and she went to her real job.
As soon as I got home, I lied down, but was close to falling asleep, when my open laptop started to chime with an IM.
I lifted my head and groggily looked at my computer.
I got up and sat down at the desk.
It was Mark, saying hello. He rarely says hello this way.
I typed back. “I’m going to bed. Can’t we talk later?”
Not long after, “All right.” appeared in the box.
I closed out the box, shaking my head and went back to bed.

A few days passed and Gina and I were sitting at the kitchen counter, at their place. She was in the middle of taking a bite when she stopped and looked at me.
“Where is this boyfriend of yours?”
A smile jumped onto my face.
“He’s at home.”
“And why aren’t you with him?”
“Because he’d rather play videogames then go out with me.”
“That would do it.”
She took a bite then added, ”After we’re done here, are you going over to his place?”
I nodded.
She pinched me and we started laughing.
What she did next surprised me. At the time, I didn’t make too much of a deal over it, but she slipped an arm around my waist and sat her head on the nearest shoulder for a few seconds.
It didn’t occur until hours later, when I sat in the crook of Richard’s arm. He was gently touching my hair.
I made no reaction to the sudden thought of her.
The phone rang and I slowly got up.
“Hello?”
“Oh, hey, Jess. Is Richie there?”
He sat on the couch, looking at me, when I held out the phone to him. He got up and took the phone.
“It’s Dave,” I whispered.
Richard put the phone to his ear.
“Hey, Davie.”
“Richie, what are you doing right now?”
“Just watching television with Jessica.”
“Put it on channel 592.”
“What’s on?”
“Just do it.”
“Okay, then, “ he said, then told me to change the channel.
I put it on the channel and we found ourselves watching hardcore.
We looked at each other, before he put the phone back to his ear. Before he could say anything, the phone dropped from his hand onto the counter.
I looked back at him.
“What’s the matter?”
“That’s my college girlfriend.”
“Oh.....OH?”
Richard picked up the phone.
“Why do I want to see this?”
“Well, weren’t you asking what she was up to?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, there you go. Question answered.”
‘Yeah, thanks.”
“Em....k. Talk to you later.”
“Yeah.”
He hung up, then came up to me, took the remote from my hand and changed the channel back to what we were watching.


Chapter Two

“If you don’t enjoy where I’m going with this, don’t listen to me,” Mark said, as he stopped playing his guitar and stood in front of the mike.
He looked out into the audience and they were all attentively hanging onto his every word.
He looked at his drummer, Tom, who shrugged, then laughed it off and added, “This is about a good friend of mine. She isn’t here tonight. She’s probably at home, concocting some lame story about her and an imaginary goldfish.”
He laughed again, before starting the next song.

After the show, everybody was scattered. That night, Tom was talking to some random girl about the guy who lived across the street from him and was always answering the door half naked. The moment they stopped talking about the guy, he walked in. She didn’t know it was him, but Tom went quiet and kept eyeing the guy.
She turned and saw a middle-aged man with an unkempt beard wearing a three piece suit, a baseball cap and Converse sneakers. He seemed slightly inebriated.
Tom looked quickly at the girl.
The guy came up to them, after spotting Tom, and bearhugged him, before loudly congratulating him on the show.
She sat quietly and watched their interaction.
Since the girl sat sideways on the couch, she looked around. Their guitarist, Alex, was in the corner, restringing his electric Fender Stratocaster. Henry, their bassist, was nowhere to be seen. Mark and the lead singer from their opening act were standing there, drinking beers, talking.
Mark slowly turned to the girl and she motioned to the guy, and Mark looked at him. He shrugged then turned back to the other guy.
The guy wasn’t belligerent, but rather pretty funny. He was talking shit about baseball teams on the east coast. It was then the girl noticed the red bird sitting on a bat on his hat. The beer bottle in his hand moved in sync with whenever he felt he was making a point.
The guy looked at his watch, before bearhugging Tom again and stomping out.
Tom breathed a sigh of relief when the guy was completely out of view.
She just looked at Tom and started laughing.
“Yeah, that’s Fred. That’s the most clothes I’ve ever seen on that guy.”
Everybody knows a Fred.

Mark excused himself from the other guy, then fished his cell from his pocket and called Jess.
“Hello?”, she said.
“Jess?”
“Mark?”
“Hey. I was looking at the tour schedule, and me and the boys are heading back into town, then have a few days off.”
Mark didn’t know if she heard what he said, as a mass of people appeared and stood around him.
“I--, “ he was interrupted by Tom.
Tom asked if it was Gina to which Mark said, “No. Jess.”
Tom’s response, “Oh. Your girlfriend.”
Both of them laughed, with him momentarily putting the phone away from his ear, then added, “What was I going to say? Oh. We can go do something while I’m back in town.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, how’s Gina by the way?”
“She’s good. I saw her last night.”
“What did you two ladies do?”
“Sat around and watched chick flicks and ate chocolate.”
He laughed and said,”Did you really?”
“No.”
She didn’t say anything for a really long time, before Mark said,”Hey! Are you listening to me?”
“Oh....OH! Sorry. My mind was wandering.”
“Where did it go?”
“Oh. I was just thinking about Gina.”
Pause.
“What about?”
“She misses you terribly.”
“I’ve got a good woman. Tell her I miss her, too.”
“Okay.”
“All right, Jess. I got to go.”
“Okay.”
Both of us hung up.

They were still backstage when Mark sat with Alex, with their acoustic guitars, playing off each other. As a joke, Alex stopped then started playing, “Dueling Banjos”. Mark set his guitar down and went to go get himself another drink.
He was reaching for a Heineken when a pretty blonde girl sidled up to him.
“Hi.”
Mark looked at her.
“Hi.”
“Let’s cut to the chase. I’m very into you. Do you want to play?”
Mark reached for his drink, took his keys from his back pocket and popped the cap off. He took a small sip, then turned back to her.
“Do you have a gameboy? The boys forgot to pack the XBOX.”
She shook her head.
“Then, no. I already have a wife. I don’t need any other chicks. One’s enough trouble.”
The girl just rolled her eyes and left.
Mark got his cell from his pocket again and called Gina but she didn’t answer, so he put it back into his pocket.

He was sitting on one bed in the motel room, watching TV. Tom sat on the other bed, reading some history on the making of the St. Louis arch. Alex sat at the table, with his guitar and a notebook and pen.
“Hello?”
“Mark?”
“Jess!”
The guitar playing stopped momentarily but started up again.
They started talking about something she saw on tv.
Tom turned to Mark and, out of nowhere, said, “Are you sure you’re married to Gina? You sound like you’re married to Jessica.”
Mark didn’t say anything, but looked at him.
Tom continued,” One of these days, you will have to choose between them.”
“Probably. But, both of them make me happy.”
“Beyond a threesome, two girls aren’t worth the effort,” Alex said, while strumming.
Mark kept talking with Jess, ignoring the other two guys in the room, and this continued for the next couple hours.
When Mark hung up, Alex made kissing noises.

Not long after, Henry stumbled in, half drunk and missing one of his sneakers. None of them batted an eyelash and started asking him where he was. It quickly turned into twenty questions, as they all lived vicariously through Henry, the only single guy in the band.

Henry had seen a girl in the audience and then followed her home. He followed on foot as she walked the four blocks.
Before she walked up the stairs, she slowly turned and looked at Henry.
They didn’t say anything.
A slow smile came over her face, as she recognized him.
“Do you want to come upstairs and have something to drink?”
Henry excitedly nodded.
She turned away and slowly ascended the stairs, and he went after her.

He closed the door behind himself, as she slowly took off her sweater.
“Do you want coffee or tea?”
“Coffee.”
She nodded, then went into the kitchen.
He stood there and looked around.
The place was small. From where he stood, he could see all the way into her bedroom. His right shoulder was almost touching the bathroom door.
From around the corner, she said, “Make yourself comfortable.”
He walked the five steps to the couch and sat down. Her remote was on the armrest and he flipped it on. A silent French film from the thirties was playing. He quickly found it boring then changed it to ESPN.

A couple minutes passed and she came back in with two cups of coffee. She set one down then sat down with the other.
He looked at her.
“There’s already sugar in it.”
He looked at the coffee on the table.
“Yeah. How am I sure you didn’t drug the coffee?”
She looked completely pissed off, but silently put her cup down then took a long sip of his.
“Still think I’m trying to kill you?”
He shook his head.
“Besides...” she trailed off, then set the other cup down. She moved closer to him and grabbed the back of his head and kissed him.

A few seconds later, they were undressing and kissing along the way to her bed.

Twenty minutes into being completely naked and her on her back, he found himself mildly embarrassed as he pulled out and came all over her.
Both of them went quiet.
He quickly apologized and offered to go down on her, and she quickly got mad, then threw him out of her place.

Henry stood there, when the other guys burst into laughter.
Alex joked,”You want a hug now?”
Henry scratched his head, then said,” I’m going to bed.”
After he turned away and was about to leave, Alex said, “Don’t disappoint any chicks on your way to bed.”
“I know where you sleep, Alex,” Henry said.
Alex turned to the other two, then asked, “Hey, can I sleep on the floor tonight?”
Both Mark and Tom shook their heads, before Tom closed his book and propped up his pillow, before lying down.
He started snoring not long after.
Alex stopped playing and looked at Tom. He packed up his things and went into the other room.
Mark was still watching TV. He could hear the room next door. The door opened then closed. A few words were said, then there was nothing else.

The next day, Mark looked at Henry.
“You didn’t drink at the girl’s place, so--”
“--There’s a bar around from the motel.”
“Oh,” Mark said, then dropped the subject.

Mark finished washing his hands, then called up Jess.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Jess. Gina hasn’t been answering her phone. Do you know what she could be doing?”
“Actually....She’s sitting right next to me.”
Mark didn’t think too much about it, but was still somewhat surprised the phone went from Jess to Gina so quickly.
“Hi, sweetie,” she said, something sounded strange in her voice.
“Hi, baby. How are you?”
‘I’m good. Really good.”
“Has Jess been looking in on you a lot?”
“Yeah. She has.”
“That’s good. I asked her to. Thought it was about time you two girls got acquainted.”
“I’ve always wondered why you hid her from me. She’s a nice girl.”

They talked for a while.

When they finished the conversation, Gina said, “Good night, sweetie. Make sure you get home in one piece. I love you. Bye.”

A week passed quickly and right before the guys were supposed to board the plane, heading home, they were standing in the airport, arguing over whether they packed Tom’s drum pedal. They were also really hungover, after a heavy night of celebrating one of the roadie’s birthdays. Tom was the least drunk of them and he triple-checked the bag it belonged to. It wasn’t there, but then remembered he just tossed it in his carry-on bag.
Alex went through Tom’s bag and just started grabbing everything, emptying the bag. The pedal was in the middle. Some of his things were on the airport rug. Tom looked hurt, before Mark slapped Alex’s arm and helped pick up the things.
This whole time, Henry was focused on some girl sitting by herself with a suitcase and checking her watch every other minute.
He was about to walk off, when Tom grabbed him and asked where he was going.
Henry pointed at the brunette.
Everybody looked.
“Man. I’ve seen your computer. If sports weren’t invented, every bookmark would be porn. Where did you find time to learn an instrument?”, Alex said.
Mark laughed.
Tom looked at his watch, then said.“We have to be on that plane in less than half an hour. Come on, boys.”

Their manager, Sam, was already on the plane along with the roadies, when the four of them boarded.
“Ready to go home?”
They all nodded, except Henry, who looked over his shoulder, out the plane.
“How much time do we have?”
“No, Henry. You can’t go back out there and say hello to that girl.”
“All right,” he sighed, before he added,”All right, then. Don’t interrupt me for the next half hour.”
Henry made a beeline for the bathroom, undoing his belt along the way.
Sam turned to Alex and said,”That guy needs a girlfriend.”
“Wouldn’t do any good. He’d cheat on her in every city.”
Sam looked at him and was about to say something, but just shook his head.


Chapter Three

Gina and I were standing there, with Alex’s girlfriend and their baby boy, and Tom’s wife and two kids.
They finally arrived and it was a blur of hugs and kisses and hellos. I stood there and saw everybody. Everyone saw Mark kiss Gina on the lips, but look at me, standing apart from everyone, and come over and hugged me for the longest time.
I looked at everybody, and everyone, but Gina, was looking at us, with various expressions on their faces. Gina was looking at her nails.
Mark let go and everyone turned away.
We all piled into our own cars and went our separate ways.

They had a few days off and things went back to their quasi-normal ways. Mark was spending all his time with Gina, so we didn’t see each other all that much.

I was out shopping, because I ran out of shampoo.
Tom’s wife was there while Tom was doing something with the kids.
I didn’t see her as my head was actively juggling several thoughts, but she saw me and finally managed to get my attention.
We had a small exchange, but before she left she said, under her breath, “Skank.”
I let her walk away, the air taken from me.

When I got home, my cell started ringing.
“Hey. Do you want to do something tonight?”
“Okay.”

We ended up going to the usual crowd’s place.
April stood talking to a mousey haired girl I didn’t know, near a window, whispering about some actor they met and the play they saw him in. I didn’t hear much of what they said, as we quickly waved to each other when Mark and I walked by, after we entered.
Mark sat down on the couch while I went to get us drinks.
Brandon was in the kitchen, mixing drinks. Two people were in there with him. He was fixing a margarita and talking to them over the blender.
As soon as I walked in, the woman went quiet. It wasn’t subtle.
Brandon looked at me and said, “Hey.”
He walked away from the blender and got a Heineken from the fridge then set that down in front of me.
“That’s for Mark. What do you want?”
I looked at the blender.
“Whatever’s in there.”
Brandon nodded, then went back to the blender.
“It’ll take a few seconds.”
“Sure. No rush.”
It was about this time when the woman spelled it out for me.
“Are you having an affair with Mark? Tom’s wife told me that Tom told her Mark and you are having sex.”
I looked at everybody, pissed off, then said,”No. Brandon, never mind that drink.”
I picked up the beer and walked out. I handed the beer to Mark, and left through the front door.

I was rushing down the stairs, when Mark came running after me.
“Where are you going?”
I stopped on the bottom step and looked at him.
“What did you tell Tom?”
“I didn’t tell him anything. I just make a bunch of jokes and he must be assuming you and I are together.”
“It’s got to stop. Everybody thinks you’re going to leave Gina.”
He shook his head.
“Nobody’s leaving anyone.”
He went down a few stairs until he was standing one step above me. He gently brushed my hair to one side and rested his hand on the side of my face.
“You’re a sweet girl. These people are just assholes. Let’s go back upstairs and do what we usually do.”
I thought about it for a second and shook my head.
“I’m going to go back to my place and drink,” I said.
“Let me, at least, walk you home.”
“Do whatever you want.”
I turned away and started walking.
I didn’t turn around, but knew he was behind me the whole way home.

I went inside my place and sat on the couch. He closed the door behind himself and locked it.
Both of us were on the couch when we looked at each other. I took one of his hands and put it over my chest. I put my hand over his, then let go.
He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my head.
“Go home to Gina.”
I turned my head back.
He hadn’t moved.
He grabbed me and started kissing me.
I resisted at first, and was about to push him away, but my hand on his chest soon lay next to me, as we both lied down on the couch.

He had his shirt off and he was kissing my neck, when I moved him away from me and sat up.
“This is selfish. We’re being selfish. You have to leave.”
I picked up his shirt and handed it to him.
He tried to kiss me again, but I wouldn’t let him.
He put his shirt back on, then kissed my cheek and left.
Both of us looked miserable when he turned to me before he left the door.

Mark and I were talking over the phone, a few days later.
“Oh, before I go. The boys and I are doing a secret show before we leave town again next week. We’re playing 5th and Brookes. I hope you can make it.”
“When is it?”
“Not tomorrow, but the night after.”
“Okay. I’ll be there.”
“It’s at 7pm.”
“Is Gina going?”
“She doesn’t want to. She said she has plans to go to a play.”
“Anyone else going?”
“Tom’s wife isn’t going. I don’t know if anybody else is. Nobody can get a baby-sitter for that time.”
We laughed.
‘Is the place big?”
“Well, we announced the show on the website and I’ve been dealing with emails from people who want to know if they need anything to get in. The place is small and we can only fit about a hundred forty people max.”
“Okay.”
“All right. Oh, is there any particular song you want to hear? I’m doing up the setlist right now.”
“You know which song I want to hear.”
“Right. Right.”

I walked into the eatery next door to the place they planned to play, hoping to get something quick to eat. I ordered a sandwich and some fries, and sat down, waiting. I casually chatted with my friend who came with me. While we sat, a waitress came and set a drink down in front of me.
We both looked at her.
She said,”This is from the gentlemen over there.”
We looked over and the four of them sat there. Mark raised his glass.
I laughed and picked up the glass. I took a sip then set it down.

I ate slowly and didn’t realize they were watching me. I finished my sandwich and was licking one of my fingers, when I looked back over at them. Tom was drinking. Alex looked bored and stared at the ceiling. Henry had his head on his hand and he looked dreamy-eyed. Mark shrugged then looked at the other guys.
I turned away and excused myself to the bathroom.

When I exited, Mark stood awkwardly outside.
“Hey.”
I turned and looked at him.
“Hey.”
“You’re in for a surprise tonight.”
“I am?”
He walked away before he said anything else.

We stood near the stage to the right.
They were five songs in when a familiar tune started to play.
Mark said into his microphone, “This is for a friend of mine. She’s actually here tonight, so everybody say hi to Jess.”
He pointed at me, which made everyone in the audience turn and look at me.
They started playing the song I kept asking them to play.
Mark was looking at me, when my face went from embarrassed grinning to looking like I was opening Christmas presents,and the biggest grin came over his face.

We were sitting around, afterwards. Various conversations were overlapping each other, when Mark and I turned to each other.
I lightly punched him in the arm.
“I’ve been asking you to do that song for the past year.”
“I just thought it would be nice.”
“Thank you.”
“No. Thank you,” he said, then patted my head.
We smiled at each other, then our attentions were diverted to other people. Henry was sitting across from me when he started flirting with me and Mark and Tom started talking about some band they watched on tv. My left ear picked up portions of their conversation and both of them were not saying nice things about their lead singer. Something about a pretty boy poser who cared more about the label on his jacket then the song lyrics.

Henry and I were talking about something, when this girl went in front of him. She had a cigarette in her mouth and he pulled a lighter out of his pocket, despite the fact he didn’t smoke, and lit it.
Her top was low enough that Henry could probably see her belly button, after she leaned down and gave a full view.
A big goofy smile came over his face after she got up and rubbed his head, before walking away.
“That’s why I always keep a lighter in pocket, because hot chicks are always going to smoke.”
Henry looked in the girl’s direction.
I turned and saw she was standing nearby, looking at Henry.
He said, “Excuse me,” and went over to her. She blew smoke in his face and not long after, they disappeared together.
I couldn’t read their lips, but it’s safe to assume they were going somewhere private.
I sat there then went back to listening to the others around me.

It went all night and the light was starting to appear outside when most of us said our good-byes.
Henry came back an hour before the last stranger said their good-bye, after holding the lead singer of another band who came to the show hostage all night long. When she finally left, he looked at us and shrugged.
Henry pulled me aside and started telling me how horrible she was, saying she bit him when she was down on her knees, and how it got worse from there. He kept going, hoping he was just imagining she could be so bad. That, and he liked her loudness.
“Oh. I have to show this.”
He turned around and pulled his pants down.
From clear across the room, I heard Alex say,”Damn. What happened to you?”
Henry and I both turned to the leftover crowd.
Everybody was looking in our direction.
Tom pointed at Henry.
Henry looked down and he pulled his pants and underwear up, not embarrassed.
Mark laughed. Tom looked embarrassed and covered his face. Alex had that,”Oh. That’s nothing.” look on his face. Everybody else seemed to be either shocked or disgusted or both.

It was an hour later when the rest of us were thrown out and dispersed into the morning light.
Mark walked me home, part of the way, because he wanted to be there when Gina woke up.

We stood at the stairs and while various people walked by, he kissed me.
Both of us were drunk when our sweet good night kiss elicited strangers and neighbors to comment outloud we should get a room and other things.
I think a good five minutes passed, before we broke away from each other.
We looked at one another and just stupidly stared.
I didn’t say anything and went up the stairs, while he didn’t say anything and went down the stairs.
We didn’t turn around and tell each other good night, but kept walking our separate ways.

I stood in my apartment and looked around. Everything was the same, but felt different.
This is the moment where I knew it had changed between us. This is where it started. I don’t know if for better or for worse, but we were never the same after this kiss.


Chapter Four

Mark got home in time to see Gina getting in her car.
She kissed him, while his head told him to try again.
He kissed her back and felt something, but this time she didn’t have a reaction.
They looked at one another and scratched their heads. She blamed it on the alcohol and he accused his tiredness.
She left and he went to bed.

He didn’t sleep long as he got out of bed after an hour of lying there and staring at one of the walls.
He got a notebook from the table and sat there, writing out whatever came to his head, vague but specific in parts. He couldn’t explain what he was feeling, and there was no moment of clarity. The more he wrote, the more he was confused.
A few pages worth of words strung together that could be used for song lyrics resulted from this.
He left it at that, after looking at the clock a couple hours later. Getting it out of his head, onto paper, helped. He crawled into bed then fell asleep.

His eyes opened and his cell was ringing.
“Hello?”
It was Tom.
“Did someone forget about band practice?”
Mark looked at the clock.
His eyes widened.
“All right. Let me get ready. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Mark rolled out of bed, brushed his teeth and left the front door, with some of his gear.

He got there and Tom was sitting in a chair, his arms crossed, and watching Alex playing something.
Henry sat next to him then turned and nodded in agreement.
“Sorry, boys. I know I’m late.”
“Listen to what Alex created last night,” Tom said.
Mark set his things down and the three of them watched Alex.

Three minutes later, Alex finished and the others were around him, applauding.
“When is your record coming out?”
Alex laughed.
“No, seriously. You will borrow my four-track and make a demo. You have to do it.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Alex put his guitar down and looked at the rest of them.
“Enough already, before my head gets too big to fit in the room.”
The others nodded, then everybody set up.
Before they played, they all looked at each other and nodded again.

When Mark got home, Gina sat on the couch, doing her toenails. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore one of his long t-shirts.
He sat there and momentarily looked restless.
“Feel like going out to dinner?”
“Sure. Where to?”
“I don’t know. But, I’m going to take a shower.”
Mark got up and went to the bathroom, while Gina finished painting her toes scarlet.

Mark and Gina sat in the restaurant, silently enjoying their dinner. It wasn’t that they had nothing to talk about, but they didn’t need to fill up the silences with unnecessary words.
They sat side by side and he had his arm around her, and periodically kissed her cheek. When the check came, he had his arm still around her and he kissed her forehead.

When they got home, both sat on the couch.
Mark looked at the clock and Gina turned to him.
“Go on. Go out,” she said, before yawning. “I’m going to bed.”
He kissed her face and she kissed him back.

Mark stood at Jess’s door. She was alone after she came home from Richard’s place, where she force fed him soup.
She was right about to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee with a few videos on youtube, when he called to say he stood outside the building, and she buzzed him in.

He walked in and took off his jacket and sat down.
“Want something to drink?”
“Sure.”
“Help yourself.”
He went over to the fridge and got something for himself.
She sat at the desk, watching someone randomly talking off the top of their head about an insane topic.
He came over to her and stood behind. After setting his drink down, he started massaging her shoulders.
She stopped his hands and turned to him.
They both looked at each other, after the video was over, and were silent for a long time.
He undid her hair and then leaned down.
While they kissed, they undid his jeans.

In bed, they were lying there, the sheets covering up while exposing.
“Oh. I just remembered something. I made something for you,” she said.
She didn’t subconsciously take the sheets with her, but casually got out of bed.
He watched as she walked out of the room, before coming back and presenting him with it. A mixtape made of songs by a particular band. He told her he never listened to them before, when she started talking about them a few weeks ago. She let it slip that she must be really convinced nothing in his CD collection is beyond 1997.

Two weeks later, while Tom drove the van, the four of them listened to the CD. They took turns who got to play music and he decided to play the CD. Each one had a different reaction. Henry didn’t like it in general, but found elements he liked. Alex wanted to toss it out into the street, saying how everything wrong with modern music was personified in that band. Tom liked the music and knew various members from somewhere, some festival where he ran into one of them when they stood in line for the port-o-potties, who then introduced him to everybody else, but didn’t get a chance to see them play, as an hour later his band was playing on a different stage. Mark sat there and initially didn’t like it either, but didn’t say anything until the last song played. He trusted her judgement in music, but had his doubts about this band. Except for Tom, the general consensus was negative.
Tom was the most open-minded of them all and insisted on playing it over. While it played, Tom pointed out specific notes or the 5/4 count or anything he thought would appeal to the others.
Henry liked it on the second listen with all the information. Mark started to slowly warm to it. Alex didn’t care.

The third listen, Mark sang along where he understood the lyrics. Alex grabbed his ipod and drowned it out with Bob Seger. Tom and Henry discussed it.

Ironically, the town they were headed to, the band on the CD called home. The band they were listening to weren’t on tour, so Tom suggested they pay them a visit.

It was around 10am, when they found the place.
Tom was the only one excited enough to be there.
Before Tom rang the doorbell, he casually talked about the two who lived there. One was a scrawny blonde chain-smoking boy who couldn’t be bothered to walk around in pants indoors, while the other was equally pale but dark haired and uniformed up in striped pajama bottoms and tshirts with obnoxious statements.
The brunette one, Patrick, greeted us at the door. He was wearing a tshirt that had ways to say fuck you in other languages. There was laughing and someone shaking a tambourine in the background.
The whole band was there. All six of them packed into the smallest living room one could imagine.
Every single member recognized Tom, which always surprises everyone, because he never goes anywhere without running into somebody he knows.
There were two dark haired girls in the band and each of them kissed his cheek, and all the boys patted his back. Everybody in the band was twenty something.
Patrick was their drummer and he went and sat behind his drums.
The blonde boy, Billy, was their lead singer. His outfit of choice was a yellow tshirt with an owl on it and plaid boxers.
None of the other band members batted an eyelash at this choice in fashion, while Alex and Henry would exchange looks from time to time.

An hour of practicing, Mark was able to distinguish the rest of the band. The two girls were sisters, Diana and Abby. They played the bass and guitar. Diana was addicted to eyeliner and pink lipstick. Abby wore lip gloss, but nothing else. Both were equally consuming liters of Dr.Pepper. Their other guitarist was Chris. Everytime there was a break, he made a comment about his guitar amp being too low. Their keyboardist, Adam, wore a white jacket with buttons all over the lapels.

They practiced for a while longer, before the band looked at each other then just stopped. Patrick set his sticks down and got up. Each one in turn set their instrument down, leaving Billy singing by himself. Abby stood next to him and they started doing double-measure handclaps before she started singing along.
A full minutes passed before the others went to the other microphone and started singing along with the first two.
Diana looked at Tom, then motioned him over.
He shook his head, but turned to Henry and suggested he go there.
Henry got up and the band momentarily broke into applause, when he joined them.
Mark followed, getting the handclaps down before he started singing the chorus, which the band sang over and over.
Tom finally joined them after Mark motioned to him and Alex.
After Tom started singing, everybody looked at Alex.
He emphatically shook his head and crossed his arms, while sitting on the couch.
He looked at the nearly empty beer in his hand, swigged the rest, set it on the floor, wiped his hands then got up.
Everybody was crowded around the two microphones, singing a cappella and hand clapping.

A few more times through, with each time becoming progressively faster, after everybody got the hang of it, then Billy made the stop sign and everybody automatically stopped, except Alex, who was really into it.
He found himself looking awkwardly around.
Everybody else erupted into laughter.
He looked around, shrugged it off then went and quietly sat down.
He was quickly handed a beer.

When the four of them exited the house, Henry turned to Tom and asked, “What was their name again?”
“Ginger and the Tomatoes.”
“Ginger and the Tomatoes? Are you kidding?”
Tom looked at him and shook his head.
Alex said, “I bet that band name was that kid Billy’s idea.”
Tom nodded, then looked at his watch.
“Well, we have a couple hours until load in, so what now?”

They found themselves at the nearest 7-11 and stocking up on burritos and chips and other junk food and diet Cokes.
The cashier made a joke about them being stoned, while he was ringing up their items.
Before they walked out, Alex said, “Maybe. We’re rock stars.”
The guy said, “That would be a yes.”

That night, Mark and Tom stood in the back and watched the opening band. Henry was flirting with some girl and Mark saw her write something down on a napkin. Mark looked around for Alex, and saw him doing shots with some random guy, then looked at the front door where people were still streaming in.
Several members of Ginger and the Tomatoes walked in and saw them. Patrick and Billy were dressed their usual way, but Billy was wearing pants. When they stopped in front of Tom, Diana turned to Billy and playfully tugged at Billy’s pants.
Billy looked down and ripped off his pants.
Everybody within close proximity started cracking up, including the band on stage, who laughed then kept going.
Billy helicoptered his pants then just dropped them on the floor, before saying, “And, now, may the drinking commence.”
Diana followed him over.
Patrick picked up Billy’s pants and said,”I’m the fucking designated driver tonight. So, I have to keep those fuckers in line. I’m not worried for Bill, because that fucker’s harmless when he drinks. But, Diana, she’s another story.”
“I’ve heard stories about her, when it comes to drinking.”
Mark looked at him.
Tom looked at Diana and Billy walk up the bar. The bartender just looked Billy up and down and shook his head, before talking with them.
Tom then turned to Mark and started explaining how he saw them play one time. After the show, Diana and Abby were standing to one side, drinking, while the guys were watching the main band. Some guy started hitting on Abby and both of them were trying to ignore the guy who became more obnoxious as time went on. Diana gave Abby the look and Abby tried to hold her back, but she insisted on kicking the guy’s ass right then and there. He remembered both of them got free drinks the rest of the time they were there.
“Yeah. You wouldn’t be able to tell from looking at her, but that girl can throw down. She can fuck us all up, especially Bill. But, Bill’s a pansy-ass,” Patrick said.
Billy came back and Diana was still talking with the bartender.
Billy said, “She went to high school with the guy,” when everybody asked why she was still talking with him, before whispering, “I overheard part of what you boys have been saying, and you don’t want to fuck with that girl. I made the mistake once and she almost killed me. She’s a nice person, but just don’t piss her off.”
“And, make sure she fucking doesn’t drink that much.”
“Oh, and she’s really protective over Abby.”
Billy and Patrick looked at each other and started talking to each other in rapid fire French, which Tom seemed to easily follow along, while Mark could barely pick out words here and there.
She finally came back with her and Billy’s drinks.
Patrick and Billy stopped talking and turned to her.
Patrick asked how many drinks she’s having that night.
“Just three.”
“Well, pace ‘em out, sweetie. Pace ‘em out. We can’t have the cops called on us again because of you,” Billy told her.
Mark looked at the both of them.
“Are you two a couple?”
The three of them laughed.
“Are you kidding me?” she said.
“She’s not my type.”
Diana turned to him and asked, “Is it because I’m a woman?”
“No. Will you fucking quit accusing me of being gay?”
“Well, you are!”
“No. I’m not.”
“Dude, I saw you and Patrick that one time.”
Patrick started laughing, pretending to fluff his hair.
Billy had a serious look on his face, before he started laughing.
“These guys don’t have to know what we do sexually,’ he said, pointing at Mark and Tom.
Alex was standing behind them, at this point, when he blurted out, “I knew it! You’ve all had sex with each other. I knew there was something.”
“Well, we get bored and drunk. What else is there to do besides get high and have sex, when we’re not playing music?”
Alex was about to say something, but decided not to. He just couldn’t contain his laughter, when he walked away, to the bathroom.
Billy added, “Besides. The whole band, except for Abby, is an equal-opportunist when it comes to hedonism.”
Patrick then said, “That’s how we fucking roll.”
Tom started laughing, then Mark asked, “Where is the rest of the band?”
“Adam is home playing Halo 3. That boy needs to stop falling asleep with the controller in his hand. Chris couldn’t make it for some reason, which he didn’t tell us. And, Abby. She’s with that damn boyfriend of hers. They’re all lovey dovey. It makes me sick.” Diana said.
Patrick turned to her and asked, “What’s wrong with him? He’s a fucking great guy.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy. It’s just...”
“What?”
“He asked me out first and I turned him down.”
“Jealous your sister is fucking him?”
“A little. But, not really because it’s him.”
“What they got. I fucking gotcha.”
Diana nodded, then took a swig of her drink.
Tom looked at his watch, then motioned to Mark.
“I’m sorry, kids. But, Mark and I have to go now. Enjoy the show.”
They were about to walk off, when Billy stopped them.
“Could we get backstage passes?”
“I already gave you some. Besides, we’re not sticking around here. We plan on going to Seebears after this.”
“You mean, Sea Bees.”
“Yeah. What did I say?”
“Some fucking underground gay club.”
“A place you know very well, I assume.”
“Actually, no. I went there one fucking time and got hit on by every ugly old guy who was there.”
The three of them were still talking about it, when Tom and Mark left.

They went backstage, to the small crowded room. Alex was already standing around, watching several other people there, passing around a small metal bong.
Immediately Tom went, “What did I tell you people? After the show, when we all can relax.”
The blonde girl quickly put it out and then slipped it into her pocket, after the bald guy in the leather jacket took one final puff.
Everybody sitting there looked at each other and then dispersed, with most of them leaving the room.

The four of them were standing there, when the band opening for them finally entered the room.
Three sweaty guys with their shirts tucked in. As soon as they stood nearby, they high-fived each other. The lead singer, Jake, was wearing an eyepatch, because he got in a fight with some random guy in the audience, the night before, but was trying to play it off that he was bringing the style back. Christian and Dutch were standing behind him, pointing and snickering like five year old girls.
Jake looked around, then asked, “Where did Kaitlyn go?”
“She must have left the room and went to go smoke some more pot,” somebody in the room said.
“Oh,” he said, before he turned around and exited the room.



Chapter Five

We finally sat across from each other, except I didn’t know it was him. He was just this really random, hot stranger. Sure, there was the many phone calls and our online conversations, but even after seeing each other on cam, I had no clue. People never look exactly the way they really do, when you see them in pictures.
We sat in chairs across from each other.
I sat there, with my legs crossed and one hand slightly tapping the chair’s side. This really gorgeous redheaded blue-eyed man wearing a regular buttoned-up shirt came in and sat down.
After a few minutes, we saw each other. I already felt naked, as a slight blush came over me, when he smiled.
Then I thought, “This is how it is. You’re going to go home to your boring life, to your boring wife and to your boring kids. Face it. I’m the only exciting thing happening in this sad pathetic existence of yours. At least, you think so.
The same thing everyday. You wake up, shower, wake the wife, have your morning coffee and toast with sunny side eggs. You kiss her and your two kids on their foreheads, then go in your car and drive off to work. Nine to five. Everyday. Every week..”
That’s what was running through my head, as we stared at each other. I couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind, but hoped something x-rated played in there.

I sat there and the first words out of my mouth were, “Great! I’m a stalker.” I saved the page, put a date on the top right corner and closed Word.
I twisted my mouth, then turned off the laptop and got up to distract myself. The TV was nearby and I flicked it on. Not paying any attention, I went and poured myself a glass of pomegranate juice.
My back to the thirty-inch, I heard a familiar gruff voice start a song about an episode of drunken revelry.
A stupid smile came over my face as I slowly turned to the TV, where I saw four guys in jeans and checked shirts.
I stupidly started singing along with the song.
The song was half over when I realized it was about the night we met, not what I thought it was.
Their last album came out a few months ago, and I went over and looked at it.

An hour or more later, I stood there in shock. I had inspired all the lyrics. The first words out of my mouth were, “Oh. Fuck.”

I finished my drink and went back to my laptop, still slightly creeped out by it.
It literally took seconds before my hands started typing.
While I typed, my cell rang.
Gina was calling me, inviting me to go hang out with her. I was going to turn her down, but decided it would be a boring night of just watching a movie and having dinner afterwards.

We decided that she would take me to this bar that was in another part of town. As soon as we walked in, it was not the place where you go to play darts and challenge someone to who can do more Jagermeister shots. It was more obvious than that. And, it was clear after a few seconds she knew people there.
As soon as we walked in, a pretty blonde girl saw her and they hugged. While they hugged, a redheaded girl with her roots exposed came up to Gina and kissed her cheek.
I stood there for a few seconds while two others said their hellos to her. The last girl was a gorgeous long haired girl with red ladybug barrettes in her dark curls.
I stood by the bar about to order a drink when I turned to Gina and the girl casually giving each other an open mouth howdy.
I was caught offguard that when I tried to spin around, back to the bartender, that my hands didn’t land on the counter, but still in the air. It didn’t help as I leaned forward, because I rammed my face into that concrete slab.
Laughter greeted me when I lifted my head, after Gina came over and made sure I was all right.
The first words out of my mouth, “Does Mark know?”
She shook her head, then introduced me to her girlfriend, Enid.
I couldn’t speak for the next few minutes.

The three of us sat at a booth in some all night diner. Enid had a veggie burger while Gina just drank a chocolate milkshake. I got a couple bites of my grilled cheese sandwich, before I put it down and just stared at it.
When I looked up, they were both looking at me. Enid had her arm around Gina’s neck.
“I know this looks bad, but I know Mark cheats on me when he’s on the road.” She looked at Enid, then smiled,” Besides, my girlfriend is cute.”

A few hours later, I found myself balancing a bottle of tequila on my knee while on my laptop.
I wasn’t drunk, but after a few minutes I stopped typing then called up Richard.
“I’m coming over.”
He didn’t protest.

Richard and I lied in bed, the sheets barely covering us.
He looked at me and before I could say anything, he got out of bed and reached for his digital camera.
“Here. Sit up.”
I looked at him, heavily sighed, then slowly got up, pulling up the sheet with me.
Without much warning, he took my picture.
Before he uploaded it to his computer, he showed it to me.
It was frameable.
He would make such a good photographer but he preferred the safety of a nine-to-five. Developing 35mm film costs money, he always said. It does, but he should be putting his work in galleries or magazines, not in his bedroom.
He sat on the bed again and put his arm around me. We started kissing again as he gently pulled down the sheet, leaving us both exposed.
“Ready to go again?”
Before I could answer, he pulled me onto his lap.

I didn’t answer either, but felt bad when I crawled out of bed, after Richard fell asleep, and checked to see who called.
I called him back.

Gina and I were sitting on her couch, and she was crying.
“Okay. So, what happened again?”
She couldn’t speak, as her hands covered her face.
When she took her hands away, her eyes were red and tears covered her cheeks.
“Enid decided she couldn’t be with me, if she had to share.”
I leaned in and hugged her.
We sat there and, while I held her, she kissed me on the cheek and said, “Thank you.”

We sat there, our heads together, and didn’t say anything for the next half hour.

A couple weeks passed and she called me again.
She seemed happier.
Mark was coming back into town in a couple days.
‘Let’s do something, before they roll back into town and things go back to normal.”
“Okay.”

Both of us were walking down the street, not knowing where to go. She didn’t want to go see a movie, and I refused to go to the bar she frequents. The only reason I didn’t want to was because it would not have been wise. I just saw tears and broken glasses when she let it slip she was hoping to see Enid again. It’s always a mess to come into contact with an ex-lover. We settled on a bar we never went to before, where no one we knew would be randomly showing up.
Or thought no one we knew would be there.

We were sitting in a booth by ourselves, when I looked over and saw a familiar twosome. Not a couple, but two people who could be together if they didn’t fight all the time. We all assumed sexual tension, because one of them was always picking on the other for the most miniscule things.
They didn’t see me at first. Charlie and Laurel were standing off to one side of the bar, looking into each other’s eyes, smiling. They were doing shots and each time they downed one, they clinked their glasses together.
I was half paying attention to Gina, while watching them act so unlike the way I usually see them.
I didn’t expect my reaction but I wasn’t thinking. I stood up, pointing at them, and yelled across the room, “It’s all an act!”
They both slowly turned to me, shrugged it off, then went back to what they were doing. Then realized who I was and turned back to me. A look of shock came over her, and he turned red. They edged away from each other. Charlie set his glass down, nodded at Laurel, adjusted his hat then left.
Laurel brought her glass and the bottle of Jagermeister with her. Before she sat down, she got the attention of one of the waitresses and signalled for two more glasses.
She sat next to me, then I turned to her.
“How long have you been dating Charlie?”
“We’re not dating.”
Gina looked at the both of us, then said, “They’re just having sex.”
Laurel made a nervous giggle.
“When did this start?”
“Well. It’s a long story.”
“We have time,” Gina said.
“Fine.”

Laurel was leaving one night and after she exited, Charlie was already outside, having a cigarette.
They looked at each other and nodded.
She got to the bottom stair as he finished and tossed it on the ground, before putting it out with his sneaker.
She was walking away, when he said,”Do you hate me?”
She stopped and looked at him.
“No. But, I always thought you were against me.”
They both looked at each other, differently.
Laurel looked up the stairs, at the window to Brandon and April’s apartment.
“Do you want to go grab something to eat?”
‘I could go for some fries.”
“Let’s go then.”

They went to a McDonald’s around the corner from where they were.
Both of them were eating fries smothered in ketchup and drinking diet Cokes.
They weren’t talking, just enjoying each other’s company.
He asked,” Do you want to go back to my place and have sex?”
She took a drink, then said,”Yeah.”

Both of them were at his place and wasted no time getting naked.

After she orgasmed for the eighth time, she rolled off him. Laurel rubbed his head then got out of bed.
While she dressed, they discussed if they should change their behavior in public. It was decided they would continue despising each other when around their friends, but once a week meet up to jump in bed.
The fact they were having a few drinks at a bar they never go to was a fluke. An experiment if they could get along outside of the bedroom.

“How long have you been doing this?”
“A few months.”
“Okay. You do realize this counts as a date, right?”
“It does?”
Laurel looked at Gina.
Gina nodded.
I didn’t notice until this moment that Laurel kept looking outside.
I turned around and Charlie was outside. He was pointing to his watch. He saw me looking at him and pretended to not see me.
“I think you should go,” I said.
Laurel couldn’t get away from us fast enough.
The waitress handed us two extra glasses, when I saw them outside, groping by a lamppost.

We had quite a few shots out of the already paid for bottle, but decided it wasn’t ours to finish.

I went back to their place with her.
We made out for a little bit, but I quickly sobered up and had to leave.
Along the way down the stairs, I felt the strongest urge to throw up, just thinking about it.
Now, I’ve kissed both of them.